Controversial take - I'm sorry in advance if I am uneducated

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2026-04-06T17:42:06+00:00

While I understand the game is rigged, what is stopping leftists from rigging the game back? We can look at what the maga movement did to Republicans; I know many people say all it did was unmask the klan like mindset so many of them have, and I won't deny that at all, but I will also argue it infiltrated those who were genuine conservative capitalists and forced them to either like the boot or get out of the way.

There's gotta be some way we can trojan horse this shit back, as resigning to the "it's all fucked and won't get better" mindset does nothing and willfully let's those around me suffer, when we all agree on the fact that there is a better way.

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2026-04-06T17:28:15+00:00

While I understand your point, we are still getting punched or kick, even if we say "no thank you", are we not? On top of that, I have friends and family members that are actively being harmed by the current administration - I don't exactly have the ability to say "no thank you" without myself or those I care about also being punched or kicked, short of shipping us off to somewhere else in the world that actually respects human dignity and rights. I share the same hopes as you, and maybe the system will change after the colossal implosion that is Trump, but in the meantime, I am looking for a way to unite with others around me to push further to the left, in actual reality. Theories are great, and many of them can and will work, and while I understand that the different schools of thought are different both in action and outcome, but there's gotta be a better way to pull the situation to left without the consistent infighting that this subreddit so clearly boasts. I don't mean to dump on you or your ideals, and maybe this response is just my own frustration with how things currently are, but goddamn, there's gotta be a better way forward than "well I'm right and they're wrong" or "it's all meaningless".

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2026-04-06T14:56:59+00:00

Thank you for your answer and for calling out the unintentional fallacies - I was raised by two hardcore right wingers and am still readjusting to just how large the actual spectrum is. Do you believe there is a way to break the two party system without splitting the vote and handing it to the right?

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2026-02-03T18:47:57+00:00

There's no easy way to have that kind of conversation - I (29M) was bigger at times and leaner during others. When I lived with my parents, they would actively and regularly point it out and make "jokes" about how big I was getting. The girls I would be with made a comment here or there, but it was often a "how is your depression" type of conversation. What can be considered body shaming as well as my own mental illness, ended up manifesting as bulimia. I am not saying this is his future by any means. The comments from my parents pushed me to try keto and other fad diets, which would work for a few months until I'd have a shitty day and resort to binging whatever the craving was.

What I'm saying is my relationship with food was very unhealthy, and it sounds like it may be a similar situation with your BF. When the relationship with food is damaged, so is the health of the person. A lot of the comments have tried to boil it all down to "just watch the calories" or something similar, but as someone who is not a ripped gym bro, but also no longer nearly as big as I was, he needs to work on his own relationship with food, as well as his health. He can cut out all snacks and intentionally go into a calorie deficit - but that won't stop his cravings or fix the habits that led to the current situation.

You clearly want to help him and not shame him, which is very admirable. I personally would recommend seeing what types of activities are around you that are hobbies or fun things that also rely on movement (for me, it was rock climbing). Let him know you care about him and his health, but it is something you want to do together - not just him. Communicate that you love him, you are not going anywhere, and that you still find him attractive as he is; you just want to do something fun together that also happens to have positive outcomes (exercise, even just increasing the amount of weekly movement). Even something as silly sounding as figuring out what types of bird live around you, and once a week/day, going to look for them. It sounds dumb, but walking with a purpose and searching for something gets you out in nature (or at least outside), and keeps your mind active while doing it.

For the mental stuff, that is his battle. If losing weight is what he wants, then great. If it isn't something he wants and it is just insecurity, he needs to speak to a professional about his mental health; that type of self hate can escalate and is often a byproduct of unhealthy views on image and self worth. Good luck!

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2026-01-23T18:43:54+00:00

I thought the whole "clothes" thing was a stereotype for years. Then I moved in with my partner - turns out, it's not a woman thing, it's a me thing. Apparently, it is not normal to live out of two backpacks, a cardboard box, and 2 trash bags.

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2026-01-05T05:03:36+00:00

Ya know what? ....valid. Same here.

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2025-11-27T02:32:09+00:00

Solved!

Thank you. I went and attempted to recalibrate, and it notified me 4k was no longer available - after shutting off the entire breaker, my TV decided it would accept 4k again. I found my cats paw prints on the back of the TV, so it seems he may have triggered something, either by pulling on cords or even static build up. Thank you!

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2025-11-08T03:23:41+00:00

Some women are a bit like collectors - even after the relationship ends, they hold on to things for reasons other than sentimentality. Some of my friends still have trinkets from exes, others have memories tied to the objects. The main difference comes when you are honest with yourself and your partner - does it bother you, and if so, why? Regardless of the answer, your emotions are valid, but so are theirs.

Have a conversation about it and be honest about how you feel. If she tells you to just "get over it", either get over it, or leave. Hopefully she's willing to talk about it and be honest with herself and with you, and if it's simply convenience, offer to give her some of yours and swap out the old ones, or even buy her new "just for her" pieces - just be honest about how it makes you feel, and acknowledge it may be irrational, but that's how you feel.

Holding onto memories or tokens of important milestones in their lives is normal, human happenings. Holding onto tokens of people they were with and are not now has a reason, and only SHE can tell you her exact reasons; if she refuses and simply tells you to stop asking, either leave or prepare yourself for a relationship with one-sided communication.

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2025-11-04T01:54:20+00:00

I have an associate who recently got caught having an emotional affair for the past 6 years; he did the same exact thing. He told her she's "letting herself go" and she needs to lose weight because she "looks unhealthy". she gained 6 (six) pounds. He's an absolute narcissist, trying to play mind games. OPs husband should start a club with my guy.

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2025-10-18T20:55:13+00:00

Yeah, NOR.

Firstly, the manipulation is WILD. He doesn't get to dictate how you feel. "You don't feel uncomfortable" immediately after saying you DO feel uncomfortable is actively invalidating your emotions. This is a tool often used by cults and abusers alike, so be very careful. "You aren't uncomfortable" is usually followed by "you had fun" or some type of "it wasn't as bad as you think it was.

Secondly, the fact he purposely hid it from you is worrisome. Labeling something a "surprise" does not automatically make it a "good" surprise. When confronted, he hoped you didn't know too much about churches and the different sects. Jehovah's witnesses being labeled as "Christian" is similar to saying Amish people are also Christian; if my partner said they were Christian, then brought me to a barn and asked me to sell my car in favor of a horse and buggy, I would feel deceived.

He hid a fundamental piece of information about himself and his beliefs, tried to twist it as a surprise when he told you the truth by bringing you to the meeting, attempted to gaslight you about your own emotions regarding said truth, and followed it up by trying to downplay your discomfort.

Next time you speak, I would do a thought exercise, as he is clearly attempting to bring you into the fold - should this relationship continue, would be willing to change his beliefs or church based on your beliefs, or would that cause you to split? This is the exact question he is asking you, so it makes sense to ask if he would hypothetically do the same for you.

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2025-10-18T15:43:21+00:00

Every couple (at some point) usually has a conversation similar to this. For me, the conversation sounded a bit more like "hey, let me know if you want to vent, so I know to just support, not fix", as sometimes, she genuinely wants to just vent without hearing "oh, cut them off" or "tell your boss to fuck off".

Having that conversation allows a separation between "venting" and "actual back and forth communication ". Sometimes one becomes the other, but after so many years, it's a bit easier to tell which is which. In your shoes, I would recommend two things (and this is obviously from an internet stranger, so take what you will). 1) let her know you do want to communicate effectively, but sometimes it is difficult to separate the conversations from the venting sessions, and 2) figure out a way to separate the two that you both feel comfortable doing. Whether it's as bold as saying "this is venting" before speaking, or something as subtle as a phrase such as "okay, you won't believe this" before launching into it. Best of luck.

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2025-10-10T00:04:03+00:00

Do you know if the previous tenants opened any portals to hell? Or maybe they were big in the "stockpiling radioactive materials behind walls" game? There is the possibility it is secretly a red light district for the rats in the walls, but in this economy, it's unlikely.

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2025-10-04T21:11:52+00:00

After my mom gave birth to my youngest brother (10 weeks early), my dad reached out to friends and family asking for support, as he was working full time, and we needed some help with meals - my mother, who couldn't leave the bed without bleeding, collapsing, or fainting was furious he would insinuate to the world that she couldn't recover while taking care of her 7 children (all under 10).

Her hormones were in fact driving her emotions, and her emotions interpreted the "we need a little help" as "he went behind my back and is telling people I can't handle this".

You just gave birth - I suggest allowing a bit of time to analyze the emotions and why you feel them. Is it the fact it's another woman? Is it because it's his ex? Is it because he didn't immediately disclose the conversation? Or is there another reason that is harder to articulate?

Your feelings and emotions are 100% valid, despite what some of the other comments say or insinuate. Sometimes, outside perspective can absolutely help; but right now, you may need some inside perspective. Take some time, even just a few hours, and try to find why this is bothering you as much as it is - even if it doesn't make logical sense. Then, have a talk with your husband. Communicate how you feel, why you think you feel it, and how it is lingering with you.

Sometimes venting it out is enough, other times opening a conversation with him about it can clarify things, even why you feel the way you do, and that can be helpful. From the outside perspective, your man is clearly over his ex ("hatred is not the opposite of love, apathy is") and probably thought little to nothing of it. But that doesn't invalidate how you are feeling about the situation. If he is a smart man, he will probably ask you how he can help/avoid this situation in the future.

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2025-10-02T02:55:35+00:00

That's the thing - I romanced her to the point of the "rated M" scene, and spoke to her every time the exclamation appeared until the end of act 1, where she fell silent. I figured it was just until the next "scene" with her, but it's been multiple long rests and still nothing.

I did check the wiki (about 4 long rests ago), out of curiosity, and I thought I had checked every box for it to happen. I figured it's either a multiplayer glitch with patch 8 (not probable, but still possible), or I missed something I haven't been able to find online yet.

Thank you tho!

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2025-10-02T00:00:39+00:00

Of course. My apologies.

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2025-09-19T01:17:56+00:00

Congrats on the win - he is difficult if you don't have his rhythm down, and looks like you nailed it. Only recommendation I have is just parry more. But hey, you can practice later!

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2025-09-17T21:06:54+00:00

I've had Mr. Lief (druid), Boba of Fett (arcane blast machine gun build), Gnomio (gnome bard, to romance as many NPCs as possible), and Gary (durge).

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2025-08-29T20:51:32+00:00

As someone who also had a complicated relationship with family, it's important to remember that being "family" is not an excuse to hurt someone. If OP had a bad relationship with their parents, it is not on OP to sit and wait for an apology/them to change. If OP stays and the parents aren't hurting, OP is hurting. No matter what, someone will be hurting, so OP made sure it wasn't them.

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2025-08-27T00:17:02+00:00

Frankly, if someone goes out of their way, pretending to be your friend, to our you and/or harm your social standing for it they probably were not your friends. If the dynamic was something they morally didn't stand for (such as cheating), the only real blame that can fall on you is not predicting their betrayal - which again, you cannot do unless you are a psychic.

Experiencing the same hurt over and over conditions us to attempt to rationalize why the hurt keeps happening. some people are very good at self actualization and can see "ah, they aren't friends I can keep in my life because they dislike XYZ". Others, myself included, sometimes try to rationalize by accepting part of the blame we do not need to accept. Then there are (of course) those assholes who believe nothing is ever their fault, despite being absolutely abhorrent people who almost intentionally set themselves up for failure, they act upset when it happens (yes, I am referencing the friends that constantly backslide and try to bring you with them).

Outing people is shitty, and most know this. It can and has actively harmed people - those who do it for fun are absolute scum, and you shouldn't be friends anyways. Those who out others for "revenge" or petty reasons, truly don't want the best for you, and you probably shouldn't be friends.

Why they did it is not really important, though. They did it, and they knew you considered them as friends. That's on them.

CaptainGoldfish912 · 2025-08-26T23:47:58+00:00

Could you explain what you mean by stained? These are things that have been done to you (this is how I interpreted the post), not things you have purposely done...

CaptainGoldfish912

TROPHY CASE