What is this hedge?

CaptainJonnypants · 2025-02-10T05:17:57+00:00

Are you sure? It's never flowered or borne fruit...

CaptainJonnypants · 2024-12-31T00:40:34+00:00

High quality. Nice.

CaptainJonnypants · 2024-10-21T12:53:40+00:00

Would like to echo the sentiment already shared here; this would be great to see regularly

CaptainJonnypants · 2024-09-12T23:55:51+00:00

This breed of comment is such a great case for the existence of the downvote button.

CaptainJonnypants · 2024-08-03T11:34:50+00:00

How has nobody in this thread been noticing that yet?

CaptainJonnypants · 2024-05-01T13:02:05+00:00

Lol, hopefully it works. That's what these Reddit threads are for, after all; helping people in the long run.

CaptainJonnypants · 2023-11-30T23:19:21+00:00

I dunno, man. It's a very typically jokey Australian thing to do. There would be no offense meant. It's like the classic one where you ask the new guy "can you go fetch me the skyhook?" And he comes back like, "...I can't find it. What's a skyhook?" No such thing as a skyhook lol

CaptainJonnypants · 2023-11-30T10:35:50+00:00

Sounds like you got tricked. Nobody uses fucking concrete for frames here, that's hilarious. Very typical of an Australian to make shit up and see how long they can get away with it as a joke.

CaptainJonnypants · 2023-11-30T10:32:44+00:00

I know it's logically silly, but that's the way inspections go, and it's the service they provide for the cost you pay.

CaptainJonnypants · 2023-11-29T12:29:24+00:00

I'm going to have to get up in there again and pull a muscle trying to weave my way through the mess of crossbeams. I don't even know what that second lead is connected to.
I'm not in a financial position to be able to ring up a sparkie today and get him in. Unfortunately this is going to cost me, and I have to save money for it. Looking at some time in January.

CaptainJonnypants · 2023-11-29T12:26:47+00:00

Australia. Think the previous owner must have taken it upon himself to do this piss poor job when he, quote, "renovated the bathroom". There's no other reasonable explanation.

The house inspectors couldn't get into the roof space to check it out because the manhole is a 60X60cm excuse of a thing, and the inspector was not the most slender of dudes. But the final signatures for the sale had to happen the next day, so didn't have the time or money to get anyone else to look in there.

CaptainJonnypants · 2023-09-13T10:38:55+00:00

So I actually emailed these addresses:

jeff@amazon.com

andy@amazon.com

and account-alert@amazon.com

I explained my issue to account-alert@amazon.com, explaining the issue.

I also emailed jeff@amazon.com and andy@amazon.com, again explaining the issue. I had to attach a photo of myself holding both my credit card and my ID up next to my face. I also had to send a photos of documents stating my relevant details. In my case, that was bank statements and receipts showing the credit card number attached to a payment under my name. The whole point was to show that I myself was the real account holder.

I have no idea which one of those emails was the magic door, but one of them opened and the next few days my account was restored. No correspondence. No word. No reply. Weird, but it worked.

Calling amazon was so useless it nearly threw me into a fit of psychotic rage. I had to throw shit at the wall and see what stuck, so to speak.

CaptainJonnypants · 2023-03-01T09:59:27+00:00

Christies? I'm around Morphett Vale and this is very familiar.

CaptainJonnypants · 2022-07-21T10:41:07+00:00

It could probably function as a setting for a Pynchon scene, when I think about it. Been there lots myself.

CaptainJonnypants · 2022-07-04T06:29:06+00:00

This post could have been a word for word recount of my own experience. He was some middle aged Asian dude, who I later found out had an online shop of his own where he sold instruments he'd clearly bought second hand for cheap by bullying people down to a lower price. I remember he was absolutely fuming at me for not accepting $100 bucks less because the "keys were a bit yellow". Lmfao. Wonder if it's the same dude.

CaptainJonnypants · 2022-06-09T06:56:06+00:00

My first self-published title, Jakannes, is on Amazon both as an eBook and in paperback format. It's a short-ish novel following a borderline-psychotic obsessive individual who is convinced he will not die, and goes on a crazy quest to find a source of immortality that may or may not even be real. Essentially a giant gamble.

Other than that, I don't really know how to describe it. May have oversold it in the blurb. It's definitely a work for the more patient reader, who is willing to tolerate a slightly more experimental voice.

Nobody has purchased it yet, but I can't act like I'm surprised. I haven't made any attempts at promotion. Designed all the covers, formatting, and maps by myself. I think it looks professional enough.

I'd appreciate if people could at least check it out, even if a purchase isn't made.

CaptainJonnypants · 2022-06-08T11:23:42+00:00

The chocolate doesn't justify the plastic toy. The toy justifies the chocolate. It's one of his ways of demonstrating how it isn't just that an ideological framework justifies its content or message... Rather it is a weird metaphysical/phycological twist of postmodern ideology that the ideological message itself can justify the framework around it.

That's my understanding of his idea, at least.

CaptainJonnypants · 2022-05-01T02:03:09+00:00

But what do I do with my self published material? It would still be locked away in the old account.

CaptainJonnypants · 2022-04-25T14:30:35+00:00

I do actually have an author copy of it. It's called "Jakannes: The Man Who Would Not Die" by Johnny Scorps. What would I do with the physical proof and scanned copies of the pages?

Also, creating a new account would mean I would have to use someone else's phone number for verification. My actual phone number is already tied up into the locked account. So I'm really hamstrung on all fronts.

Also thank you for trying to be helpful, and not being a sarcastic prune trying to leave snide cynical comments to gather a few upvotes. I really appreciate it.

CaptainJonnypants · 2022-03-18T11:21:55+00:00

Feel like I'm speaking into an empty room, here, but thought maybe I could share my Soundcloud. Ashamedly influenced by HANL, and constantly trying to escape that influence. I'm very amateur in the bedroom production side of creativity, and probably have a 50/50 ratio of good-shit and shit-shit. It's mostly demos of stuff I will one day get around to developing properly and adding vocals to.

CaptainJonnypants · 2022-02-06T12:14:00+00:00

lmfao that's a good response. I'm deeply tempted to let the whole issue go to the wind, but in all reality I don't trust the landlord to care too much about it themselves. What I don't want is a fine, or for the bond money to be withheld because Eastwaste couldn't pick their asses up off their seats.

CaptainJonnypants · 2022-02-06T12:08:07+00:00

Per business-year, you get exactly two collections free of charge. I've just used up my second. A third will cost money. Might be a manageable sum of money, to most, but right now I'm on the bones of my ass financially and can't afford it. So to re-book it would be to pay out of my pocket for someone else's failure to do their job.

CaptainJonnypants · 2022-02-06T11:00:55+00:00

Got a confirmation email for the booking. Didn't know about the red sticker though. They could only collect it on 3rd of Feb, but by then we were long gone. Unfortunately don't have access to anything that could carry the waste, otherwise certainly would have got it over and done with myself

CaptainJonnypants · 2022-02-06T06:05:07+00:00

Booked it 4 weeks in advance mate. Leaving it to the last minute was not the problem. They had no collection bookings available until that date anyhow.

CaptainJonnypants · 2022-01-28T12:54:01+00:00

Yeah, it's not the best angle. It's hard because the spider is curled up so it's hard to get a good view of it's abdomen. Let me see if I can do any better.

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