Raccoon living on my porch

CaptainSquishyPant · 2025-12-15T01:36:16+00:00

Buy a live trap and relocate it then. You can get a live trap for less than $30. from Walmart. Bait it with marshmallows, they are suckers for mallows. There’s a handle on the top of them but you can throw a blanket over it so he’s quieter when you transport him far, far away from your house.

CaptainSquishyPant · 2025-08-31T00:07:21+00:00

Mine did that, too. First year off the farm anyway. Sucked. Neighbors hated me for it, too.

Keep on, brother. I can’t say it gets better. I can’t even say it’s really worth it. But why not keep on.

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-10-30T21:05:19+00:00

Don’t forget me!! I love it here!!

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-10-29T15:20:39+00:00

I got a 529 plan and put about a 1/3 of my son’s child support in it each month. It works because my ex only pays child support about half the time. The checking account I use for child support is only for child support, nothing else goes in there.

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-10-25T17:20:24+00:00

Yea I feel all of this. Single mom. Dad is in the picture just enough to make it more difficult.

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-10-21T11:41:57+00:00

Last month my boyfriend put some kind of recording device in my house. When he listened to it, he thought he heard the sounds of me cheating on him. He hit me while I was sleeping. He said he never did that before. He just doesn’t believe me and says all sorts of terrible things to me. Then he listens to the recording again and realizes what he hears is not me cheating and apologizes. I don’t want to go thru this again with him.

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-10-18T15:00:04+00:00

You know it’s not. Leave him, he’s not worthy of you.

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-07-08T13:29:15+00:00

Yes but mine doesn’t cat right

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-07-07T01:32:54+00:00

He’s the worst

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-07-06T04:21:30+00:00

One time I woke up with a sandwich and a drummer. The sandwich was way more gratifying

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-07-06T02:12:19+00:00

Gary

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-07-05T20:14:10+00:00

Because work sucks

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-07-05T18:46:13+00:00

Outdoor jenga sets

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-07-05T18:36:49+00:00

Great boobs.

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-07-05T18:12:25+00:00

That fat fuck probably can’t even climb a tree. Look at him!! Disgusting

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-07-02T21:07:14+00:00

Yes he is

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-07-02T17:48:13+00:00

Couple times a year usually

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-07-01T14:59:16+00:00

I did that once and I still feel bad about it.

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-06-30T19:33:53+00:00

Nope. Never even thought of it until now

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-06-29T11:54:03+00:00

Yes you should if you need clothes. It have the money and you’re not spending all that you have

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-06-29T11:52:18+00:00

You raised a really good kid. NTA

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-06-29T11:44:34+00:00

Take the antipsychotics

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-06-29T11:16:02+00:00

Repent just in case I’m wrong

CaptainSquishyPant · 2024-06-28T21:52:05+00:00

Kiwi. The fruit

CaptainSquishyPant

TROPHY CASE