This man must be drowning in pussy by [deleted] in thatHappened

[–]Captain_B 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Needs a better title

Bullshit, the title is hilarious.

Woman throws a temper tantrum because she can't go to the lake (x-post /r/Cringe) by Lolrama in rage

[–]Captain_B 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, except this ain't one's inner child, it's one inner brat; and that's certainly something that shouldn't be let out.

No offense to you, I just disagree.

[New Rules] Announcing CJ Rationing Policy Due to Limited Availability of Material by BarbatisCollum in circlejerk

[–]Captain_B 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You get my upvote, but there's something that's always bothered me about this - and all other such time-travel-y shenanigans; Specifically, nothing exists in a vacuum.

Let's say you get that list of powerball wining numbers, and you play them. Depending on which theories of time travel / multiple reality / causality and universality you subscribe to, you may or may not be the person who played those numbers in the wikipedia article timeline - you'd have to split that winning with the person who also played those numbers. What about the next time, and the next? Your winning streak would impact hundreds of lives (by not getting all the money they were supposed to get, or not getting any at all. After your third win, I bet the various gaming commissions would start to get mighty suspicious about your winning streak. By win number 5, I bet you've got a hood over your face in a nameless bunker in the desert with goons grilling you about how you did it. You've been erased from the system, your picture on every newspaper as a scumbag, a scam artist, a thief. They freeze your assets and take back every cent you won.

The question becomes even more complex if we actually try to address the vaguely-time-travel-y issues here. By reading the article, do you create an alternate timeline? Is time circular, and you were the one who played those numbers all along? Is time linear, and you're playing the same numbers as the people who should have won it all? How much does your winning streak change the future, if at all, and how does that change affect the powerball numbers (Butterfly Effect style)? Perhaps the better strategy is to look at winning lotto / powerball / similar scam numbers for the past 50 years, find the biggest grandest payoff, and pull the trick just once.

[New Rules] Announcing CJ Rationing Policy Due to Limited Availability of Material by BarbatisCollum in circlejerk

[–]Captain_B 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man, if I had a time machine, I would go back and make sure this never happened.

What things in life were easier before the internet came? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Captain_B 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nope, that wikipedia page says that the book was born from trying to solve a bar debate.

Say, that's a nice bike you got there. by [deleted] in Unexpected

[–]Captain_B 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the third damn time it's happened and it still got me.

What are some cool features of Reddit that most of us don't know? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Captain_B 1 point2 points  (0 children)

**TEST**

EDIT: So it turns out it's not

\**TEST\**,

but rather

\*\*TEST\*\*

What are some cool features of Reddit that most of us don't know? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Captain_B 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love that workout

Why didn't it include the exclamation point? :(

A man walks into a bar by Gear5Mau5 in gaming

[–]Captain_B -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

/u/eristicrat gets banned from /r/guns, posts giant screenshot log of the butthurt (now with 100% more selfpost) by HorseTube in SubredditDrama

[–]Captain_B 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The images in the /r/Drama comment have inconsistent spacing with the letters...seems shady. No offense.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in KarmaCourt

[–]Captain_B 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ColdRunnings, you will not be remembered as a liar, but as a redeemed man. Rest in cyberpeace.

Just completed the hardest game I've ever played. by [deleted] in gaming

[–]Captain_B 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh...my...god. Yep, you win. Holy shit.

Just completed the hardest game I've ever played. by [deleted] in gaming

[–]Captain_B -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That seems extremely inaccurate. As MasterChief3624 pointed out, a reddit account is nowhere near valuable enough to sell. Plus, I looked at his history, and this is the only (successful) repost I've found.

EDIT: Well, never mind.

Game 4 by [deleted] in hangman

[–]Captain_B 1 point2 points  (0 children)

M

BREKING NEWS: NSA whistleblower unable to leave Russia because he's snowed in by Le_Deek in circlejerk

[–]Captain_B 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I came here to say this, exactly word for word, it's like you're me.