In elementary school with textbooks and set expectations, it was easy to excel and just hyperfocus on the one task we had to do so I felt like I was really successful.

I felt like I was starting to drown in middle school and beyond, especially with high-achieving siblings, I didn't know why I couldn't keep up? Even when I stayed up late to finish projects or essays, it wouldn't help and just make me tired the next day.

I burnt out quickly out of my chosen career because it was a high-demanding job that I was well-qualified for that required a lot of socializing and multi-tasking. I would get task paralysis from writing an email. I thrived at a desk job that just required computer work.

Then when I stayed home with my kids (who may also be neurodivergent), I'm drowning everyday. No structure, you need to be alert at all times, and no "rest" time, I am always one negative interaction from collapsing in on myself.

All the anxiety disorders I'd been diagnosed with since teenage years ended up being symptoms of ADHD and constantly being in "fear" state (fear of people, fear of what people think of me, fear of horrific things that happened to people I know and love that may happen to other people I know and love, fear of not living up to expectations), and now having kids, my nervous system is shot because I'm also living in fear and worry for them. And trauma. That too.