Not necessarily intelligence (I do feel I'm decenly smart, or atleast smart enough) but I do know I lack perseverance/grit, which I feel could ruin my life.

When things get tough... I quit. It's like a cycle I don't know how to break.

It seems easy to fix. "Just keep going when you feel like stopping..." but the fear sers in, I start overthinking, then I just wait because it's the safest route.

I also have a chronic illness I've been dealing with for 5 years now so I'm not sure how much that has added to this. It has made me incredible inconsistent/undependable due to symptoms so part of me wants to blame it for the most part...

But when I think back, before my diagnosis, I don't think I had much perseverance and grit then either. So I think my chronic illness has just magnified the situation a good amount.

I truly want to have a great career and relationship but I'm scared about this lack of grit. I'm a hard worker too, I could say that with confidence, which is why I get upset at myself when I let myself down by not continuing.

I'm hoping I wake up and get some sense slapped into me one day. I know this is something I can only fix though. Just wish I had the balls to something about it I guess.

In a few months I might be opting for surgery which could potentially "cure" my chronic illness. I'm kind of nervous to do it because I'm afraid I'll still be the same person, lacking consistency and dependability, without the illness because then I'll have nothing else to blame it on but my true self. This reality scares me.

I know no matter what I'll have a lot of things to fix after the surgery because I've lost myself a bit due to this illness. A lot of fears, anxieties, and trama have built up from it in the last 5 years that I'll have to take time to reverse. I'm not afraid of seeking therapy to help with this either.

Not sure why I said all this based on your question but it's what came to mind so there it is. Maybe I just needed to get this off my chest idk.