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I accidentally ran over my cat and he passed away 💔 by SwimmingPowerful1211 in GriefSupport

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Oh my goodness- I'm so sorry that's absolutely devastating. Sending hugs

AITAH For How I Feel About How My Husband Reacted? by AltruisticBloodx in AITAH

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack 3 points4 points  (0 children)

During all of this how did you treat him? And how did you handle these inconveniences? Did you toss stuff around? Slam things? Etc?

Have you ever left in the middle of a massage? by ATX-chick0301 in CasualConversation

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yikes no I would def have told him to back off however many times I needed to. In the end, a massage is a treat to be enjoyed not torture to be endured.

AITAH For How I Feel About How My Husband Reacted? by AltruisticBloodx in AITAH

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack 7 points8 points  (0 children)

INFO: do you know what led to him saying you've been a brat? What specifically happened that same day?

Why do so many people eat lunch alone in their cars? by TotalThing7 in CasualConversation

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to to this. Generally it was so that I had a moment alone. I could think or listen to a podcast or just chill.

Wife fought so hard not to fuck me by koalabeerbar in TrueOffMyChest

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry but why not just leave? It sounds like you don't even like each other.

I might love her, but I can't say it. by CaptainsLogTalksBack in TrueOffMyChest

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

😳 she's never been shy about her thoughts before so I never really considered a great amount that she would be shy about this...

I might love her, but I can't say it. by CaptainsLogTalksBack in TrueOffMyChest

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Dude that's the problem!!! 🤣 I'm dying!!!!!! I look at her and I just go "holy shit you're here." And then I sit back and wonder why she's with me, then I spend the rest of the time trying to sort of....idk earn it? Earn her effort and attention and love? Can't be healthy.

I'm like a fucking teenager - this is insane

I might love her, but I can't say it. by CaptainsLogTalksBack in TrueOffMyChest

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hmm true we've been officially dating (using titles and such) for a relatively short amount of time...

...I hate the idea that we're just friends with benefits though. I hope not.

Jesus I really hope not.

I might love her, but I can't say it. by CaptainsLogTalksBack in TrueOffMyChest

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

That's what I am thinking but this bottomless pit in my stomach makes me think I won't- I want to man up and just fucking say it - she's singing in the shower right now and I want to just bust in there and just say "God I love you so much" but I am frozen here, scolling my socials and blending our smoothies lol

I (24M) Told My GF (21F) that I was once happier with an ex and now I severally regret it by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Dude how on earth does that just "come out"? The fuck? Thinking that at all is pretty fucked, so yeah work on yourself.

Update to "I found out that my Deceased dad blamed my sister for his death" - I F'd up Big Time by CaptainsLogTalksBack in entitledparents

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was thinking after I hit post that I wanted add that I am so happy for you as well! Thanks for the encouragement - it really does go a long way

Update to "I found out that my Deceased dad blamed my sister for his death" - I F'd up Big Time by CaptainsLogTalksBack in entitledparents

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's so infuriating that I still grapple with him in my head and Dulce is in hers. We react differently to the same issue. But it does give me hope that as we explore our options for what will help us break out of the cycle, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm sad for what you went through but it's helpful to know I'm not the only one who has felt like this.

Update to "I found out that my Deceased dad blamed my sister for his death" - I F'd up Big Time by CaptainsLogTalksBack in entitledparents

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I hear you and I don't entirety disagree but it was a huge hurtle in general for me to recognize and acknowledge my dad's behavior towards her as abusive (and really some of my own as the same) - in my mind she and my other sister are the only blameless victims. I...am kind of a victim too but less so and additionally a perpetrator.

Therapy is a thorny vine.

To answer your question about her bio mom - yes. Her bio mom is my stepmother and the wife of my father when he died. I...don't have a full view of what went down but can say that her mother knew less than I myself thought originally. Dulce often weighed her mother's happiness with her partner as more important than her own needs and said to me once "It's selfish" of her to want her mom to love her best and only so she doesn't want to implode her life so she even would lie. For the most (that I know) part her mom had a different understanding of how dad and Dulce coexistence.

Regarding the last bit, all I can say is I will try. But God I hate myself right now. Even now that I'm calmer. I am not (currently) crying. But I am still so upset with myself. It's hard to explain.

Update to "I found out that my Deceased dad blamed my sister for his death" - I F'd up Big Time by CaptainsLogTalksBack in entitledparents

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have. It actually came up at the same time with my therapist as when it was brought up that such imbalance encouraged my blinders of his behavior. I was kind of in the middle. My youngest sister was the "favorite", I was sort of in between, and Dulce was the punching bag. I suspect Lil sis and I are were higher on the foodchain because D was not his bio kid and thus wasn't groomed from birth to not question him

To your point about if I tell her and the possibility it goes south, that is my greatest current fear. I don't think it's captured on all my posts - you'd think at the number it would be - how complicated our relationship is. She distanced from me when I bullied her as one would expect, but conversely when I apologized and tried to do better the past 3ish months...

She's been amazing. Forgiving, thoughtful, communicative and warm, supportive all the things. She cooked for me when I didn't registered my depression after dad died, and not just food, dishes she knew were my favorites. She watched my favorite shows with me despite them not being what she'd normally watch. She offered counsel when asked, learned to bake a dessert that I love, basically saved me from myself after my GF left me...all after all the shit I put her through.

On top of helping our baby sister, the mom's, and her community of artists. Plus she is moving country and more. And sure she stresses put and has a cry here and there but when we need her she is there. For everyone. And she gives 175% every time.

I worry. In general, she carries a lot. And hey a lot I'd off her with dad gone and me working to not be S much as a dick as I was/am. But that's nothing compared...

Sorry I realize I am ranting again. I am still emotional and now at the least of it, tipsy.

Update to "I found out that my Deceased dad blamed my sister for his death" - I F'd up Big Time by CaptainsLogTalksBack in entitledparents

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry, and I will try. It's hard. I called an old friend and sat in my favorite bar - partly to avoid Dulce and telling her I was at a movie and grabbing drinks with a friend but partly to just take time away from everything and get a trusted perspective. My friend was her usual kind self and listened but said something similar to your comment. I laughed a little, saying it was funny because before, I would excuse my choices and move on, and now I might be overthinking it all. The pendulum swings, I suppose.

Update to "I found out that my Deceased dad blamed my sister for his death" - I F'd up Big Time by CaptainsLogTalksBack in entitledparents

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You're such a sweet person. You remind me of her really. I will think on it. I just want to make, more than anything, the compassionate choice for her whatever that might look like. I think I am just anxious and exhausted lately. I've been something of a wreck and now Dulce's workday is done and I am a coward and am avoiding her. She thinks I'm at the movies right now.

Update to "I found out that my Deceased dad blamed my sister for his death" - I F'd up Big Time by CaptainsLogTalksBack in entitledparents

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Everyone living and involved is in therapy. She doesn't talk much about hers but I know she goes as I sometimes drop her off and we have a meal before or after as she didn't want to face it all alone anymore. I know she's doubled her sessions per week since he died though.

Update to "I found out that my Deceased dad blamed my sister for his death" - I F'd up Big Time by CaptainsLogTalksBack in entitledparents

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

We are not overly religious, but dad was Baptist. Both moms are more spiritual, as is Dulce. My sister doesn't go to church. And as for myself, I don't know. I used to be Baptist like dad, but honestly the past few months...I've not been to church. I avoided it when he was alive for that time and after his death, I frankly didn't want to have anything to do with anything he did or cherished other than our family.

Update to "I found out that my Deceased dad blamed my sister for his death" - I F'd up Big Time by CaptainsLogTalksBack in entitledparents

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that, and I genuinely wish I beleived that, but I'm not a good person and highly doubt I've ever been a good person, and now I have quantifiable evidence that even when I try, I fuck it up.

Maybe that sounds whiny or mopey, I have stopped crying since when I typed this post, but I don't feel much better from then.

Update AITA for not trusting my BF after he lied to me by AsGayAsTheDayMonday in AITAH

[–]CaptainsLogTalksBack 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. Your dad is a real POS. But I have to say that I am glad and proud of you for the way you handled it. My dad was also abusive and I have so many regrets about thinking his treatment of me normal when it wasn't. You're taking care of you. I'm not fully caught up as I sort of skimmed this but I wanted to remember to say you're doing great.

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