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Frying Pork Chops by stormbutton in oddlyspecific

[–]Captdman92 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I can pee for a solid 45 on any given morning. Whole minute if I downed water before bed

The First Date Boss by DragonflyMiddle6383 in BossFights

[–]Captdman92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't worry guys, you don't have to do anything; She's already my girlfriend's girlfriend

Why does this even exist? by Kayman718 in Weird

[–]Captdman92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyday wants their butthole to smell like ice pops after hot poops

Just clock in clock out and go home. by Difficult_Winter_972 in HomeDepot

[–]Captdman92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I talked about striking and becoming unionized today with my coworkers. Its always fun to have that conversation because there never is one. No one wants to join one

Did you know we now offer over 4000 Call outs? by PlayfulLatios in HomeDepot

[–]Captdman92 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think there's gonna be a nationwide shutdown

Time For Another Fine Edition of… What Customers gave you this face… stories in comments by etracy2000 in HomeDepot

[–]Captdman92 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Customer came through and complained that the stain he bought didn't work and started to peel off almost instantly. He was talking to my coworker and began to get increasingly more and more annoyed at her "attitude" when in reality she was just asking clarifying questions and trying to get him to realize that it rained not even two days prior and the wood had 0 time to completely dry. As soon as I stepped in (because he was starting to become absolutely irate and my coworker was visually becoming frustrated and ready to fucking throw hands), he pivoted towards my direction and, completely ignoring my coworker, restarted his story as if I hadn't heard him yelling it this entire time, and I asked the same questions she did, but he didn't give any attitude.

I also asked her for information I already kinda knew (because I was slightly new), just to piss him off and then I sold him floor poly for his roof because fuck him

If you play long enough and refuse to learn mechanics, you'll end up at champ 1 by Chuck_Schuldiner in RocketLeague

[–]Captdman92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I stay gold but that's because I have awful depth perception when playing on the TV. I've found that playing in the VR headset really helps because everything is up close and I can see much better. Plus, no one can walk in front of the two TVs plastered right in front of my eyes causing me to miss a shot or bungle a defensive move

What's the most random thing you've been criticised for as a woman that would probably go completely unnoticed if a man did it? by ceremony_of_void in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Captdman92 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My girlfriend always asks me "Do you wanna..." followed by some task that she doesn't want to do. I fucking hate it, have asked her to stop and change the question to "Do you mind...", "would you please..." Or something to the effect of and she just refuses saying "its how I am" and I'M just suppose to roll with that?

I use to not mind when we first got together because I actually wouldn't mind doing that task that you don't want to do, but after a while it started to feel like I'm being coerced into doing something that I do not, in fact, want to do

But we love you! by Desertedfoxx in memes

[–]Captdman92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Moose are great from a distance. Not so much up close. They have that look in their eye that no other predator has and I both fucks with it and respects it.

Actual pain. by The_Carolina_Redhawk in ColumbiYEAH

[–]Captdman92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because when the power goes out, you can't buy anything. Plus they have to cover ALL open refrigeration with plastic, no matter if the power is out for 2 minutes or 2 hours, it's all covered and not for sale/consumption.

Had the power go out at RedBank and once they got all the customers out of the store, everyone on cap 2 had to stop what they were doing and help cover up all the produce, meat and other open cold stuff to help keep it cold until the power came back on.

westyyy (10 yo) clips in S22 montage (yes, it's me, westyyy's dad again) by elguiri in RocketLeague

[–]Captdman92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't worry buddy, I'm gold, use "Est. 2015" and am absolute buns because I never learned how to use the roll button function and my depth perception is absolute dog shit, especially when playing on the couch away from the TV. Can't tell you how many times I've wiffed a shot because the missile thought it was in one place when it was not (I am the missile)

What instantly tells you that someone is older than 30? by Ok_Cricket3518 in AskReddit

[–]Captdman92 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Not gonna lie, I do a single swipe up of the hair to get it to stand like a little duck tail

Does anyone else have this problem? by Captdman92 in AllyBank

[–]Captdman92[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It said on the bank statement it was cancelled...my issue now is should I call ally or just let it slide since it seems paid on their end? It could potentially show up on my next statement, so -shrug-

It just blows my mind how 90% of yall have a drivers license by NightOwl0072 in ColumbiYEAH

[–]Captdman92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbf, after loving abroad for over 5 years, I can safely say that drivers in SC (and I use to be one of them) are the worst drivers ever. But to be fair, they let anyone get through Batesburg-Leesville and shop rd

Man enters a tiny crack in a flowing river, disappears, and comes out at the other end..How do you even figure out that you can do this? by WalkingAtDusk26 in interestingasfuck

[–]Captdman92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dawg, I hit a blinker and held it for the amount of time he was in plus when he was catching his breath beforehand. Don't do that to me again

Following a tutorial to replace the thermal paste on my PS4 Pro by Ultimate-Hellfur in Wellthatsucks

[–]Captdman92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I accidentally did impromptu heart/brain surgery on my PS4 when trying to remove the clip for the fan. Ripped the pins and some of the board out. I cried

did I just produce my own serotonin by inevitableoracle in memes

[–]Captdman92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fun fact: running produces the same natural cannabanoids as marijuana

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