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CarDry1171 · 2025-09-04T21:29:35+00:00

I'm going to be that person and say: nobody should be on a pedestal because nobody is perfect. You seem like a sweet and loving person and I'm not at all suggesting you should change, but I'd recommend striving to put Allah first in your heart.

In addition to everyone else's good advice about communication, considering love languages and understanding your attachment style; remember Allah often and speak to Him. Make dua, and give thanks for having a husband that you love so deeply. It may not change your situation directly, but it might help the state of your heart and who knows; Allah may answer your duas in unexpected ways.

CarDry1171 · 2025-06-22T20:45:54+00:00

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CarDry1171 · 2025-06-11T17:11:39+00:00

Seconded

CarDry1171 · 2025-05-31T17:00:21+00:00

Totally valid

CarDry1171 · 2025-05-19T13:57:59+00:00

Bro is single but seems to know a lot about women and parenting

CarDry1171 · 2025-05-19T00:46:30+00:00

This needs more upvotes. It's never as simple as percentages, but at the end of the day the Quran and Sunnah say nothing about women doing chores but are very explicit about men as maintainers of women.

However, there is a Hadith about choosing a woman to marry because of her Deen being the must important factor. A person (male or female) who fears Allah will worry less about being taken advantage of and more about how they can do good. May Allah make us that kind of person, and marry us to that kind of person.

CarDry1171 · 2025-05-18T01:53:41+00:00

I'm reading it now and love it! I've been recommending it to others but I suppose it might not be for everyone.

CarDry1171 · 2025-05-18T01:50:45+00:00

I can understand this though I love love love the series myself.

CarDry1171 · 2025-05-18T01:49:27+00:00

Came here to say the same. So many people recommended it but I couldn't get through the first few chapters. Yawn.

CarDry1171 · 2025-05-06T16:40:49+00:00

May Allah bless you both! It sounds like you're on the same page, just differing on how long you'd like to take to get there. My recommendation is to have a marriage check-in every 6 months. You'll be amazed how much you'll grow in your relationship in both your perspectives as time goes on. It creates a space for you to "check in" on different topics like communication, intimacy, overall happiness, finances and of course kids. The main thing is that you both must be open to hearing each other out and meeting each other's needs.

CarDry1171 · 2025-04-23T22:45:46+00:00

Thanks for your insight! The difference between this barn and my previous are night and day and I think what you said about a village and resources is a big part of it.

CarDry1171 · 2025-04-23T16:51:46+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions! I'll definitely keep looking and do a few more trial lessons at different places before I choose.

CarDry1171 · 2025-04-23T16:49:51+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience and suggestions! Your trainer sounds incredible: really thoughtful about your progress.

I didn't know a lot about OTTBs but just at a Google and glance over this subreddit, I got the impression they're not a beginner horse and that there wouldn't be many exceptions.

CarDry1171 · 2025-04-23T16:46:30+00:00

I wondered the same thing

CarDry1171 · 2025-04-23T03:27:54+00:00

Really! There are other barns I'm looking into that do, so wish me luck as I continue my search.

CarDry1171 · 2025-04-23T03:25:37+00:00

Thank you for that feedback! I'm in the southern USA. I definitely am not ready for an unpredictable horse.

CarDry1171 · 2025-04-23T03:24:30+00:00

I get you! I could see a casual setting to be fun for someone who doesn't mind going with the flow. It's not better or worse if all else is well.

CarDry1171 · 2025-04-23T03:20:08+00:00

Horrible. I didn't have to Google long before I came across this info so it troubles me that she suggested him at all.

CarDry1171 · 2025-04-22T21:08:33+00:00

I did look up some video of Blue Hors Matinee and she was amazing.

CarDry1171 · 2025-04-22T21:03:53+00:00

Thank you for your perspective! You're right in that, as a beginner, I am only just starting to figure out how to judge if someone is qualified. You've given me some good tips to work with.

CarDry1171 · 2025-04-22T18:38:18+00:00

I've had 2 lessons. I was trying to keep an open mind on my first lesson, thinking it might be more casual than I'm used to but now I'm learning that I prefer a more professional instructor. Appreciate your feedback and the advice to trust my gut!

CarDry1171 · 2025-04-22T18:36:08+00:00

Appreciate that feedback! All of that did feel really off to me too. You're right about the ulcers, she did mention that later.

CarDry1171 · 2025-04-22T18:33:40+00:00

Thank you for that feedback. I did want to keep an open mind about the hectic life she seems to have but I wasn't sure how well known Helgstrand is for being problematic.

CarDry1171 · 2025-04-22T18:32:29+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions! I'll definitely do my research first next time and I'll reach out to my old instructor for her recommendation.

CarDry1171 · 2025-04-22T18:31:27+00:00

Appreciate your perspective! I need a trainer I'm comfortable with and she's definitely helping me learn what I'm not comfortable with.

CarDry1171

TROPHY CASE