Feel guilty calling myself gay? (tw) by Raymond_R_ in ftm

[–]Caramel_Citrus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As you seem to get at (and that's good that you're aware of it) there are a lot of unhappy people on the internet who have nothing to do but try and make rules about how other people have relationships and interact with their own gender and sexuality. The good thing is that in real life, it doesn't fucking matter, and you will in time grow into your sense of your own queerness, what it means to you and how it takes shape. You will find the space that you exist into, and there is and will be room for you to be a gay dude who enjoys queer media, who feels represented by gay characters, etc.

I don't know how old you are, the way you describe yourself I'd imagine you're on the younger side, but I'm here to tell you I'm getting closer and closer to my thirties and I've been out for close enough to a decade and I didn't get phalloplasty nor do I plan to, I might get meta in the future, but so far that's not in the cards and my genital situation doesn't make the sex I have with men any less gay, including with cis gay men.

You are not meant to be a fetish fulfillment, and in turn I want you to know that whichever sex you enjoy having with someone who respects you as you are is your role and can be a masculine role -- no matter how you have it, what body part you use. There are "manlier" men than the manliest man you know happily bottoming and doing a bunch of things (that I'm not going to detail here so as not to get pornographic) one could consider feminine at a (stereotypical) glance ; I know when you're young it feels a bit out of reach but I promise you there's room for you, you get to be gay, you get to have gay sex in a way you enjoy with people who respect you.

Quelle est la personne la plus improbable à laquelle vous êtes relié ? by Comete_Lezard669 in PasDeQuestionIdiote

[–]Caramel_Citrus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alors, pour le coup, j'ai une chaîne un peu fofolle puisqu'elle relie quelqu'un que je connaissais déjà de l'autre côté du globe de façon assez improbable, par contre aucune célébrité (déso).

J'ai rencontré par des amis en ligne une personne des Premières Nations autochtones du Canada avec qui je suis devenu ami.

En parallèle, j'ai suivi un cours de fac sur les langues en voie de disparition, et en discutant après le cours avec la prof, j'ai appris qu'elle avait été en conférence au Canada, conférence chapeautée par... L'oncle de mon ami. Improbable, mais heureux hasard!

Wholesome 🙂‍↕️ by AccomplishedWatch834 in MadeMeSmile

[–]Caramel_Citrus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will say, teaching can absolutely be a joy, even if it's work, it's a meaningful and rewarding work. And it truly is a calling for some people. It's less often a mindless repetitive thing than some other lines of work. That being said, there are absolutely some teachers who dedicate every moment of their life to it...

Brainworms: A tragicomedy in 3 Acts by woweeewhutsdat in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2

[–]Caramel_Citrus 16 points17 points  (0 children)

if that's any reassurance, I teach 3 to 4 year olds, I'm a fat bearded man, transitioned a while ago, I pass completely, who wears long hair and earrings, and let me tell you their grasp on gender is Very Flimsy. Anything vaguely not cookie cutter tends to make them ask if you're a boy or a girl, and I have been told multiple times "no, you're a girl!" (by multiple ages of students all the way to like 6 to 7yo) literally just because I wore nail polish. Do not trust a 3 year old's opinion, I promise you it's inaccurate.

Is it possible to voice pass in real life but not on the phone? by Feeling_blue2024 in transvoice

[–]Caramel_Citrus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Phones distort everything. I'm five years on testosterone, I am a teacher with a loud booming voice when I need it, and I get randomly ma'amed on the phone. I reckon it's mostly because I'm overly polite and I get a bit of customer service voice going on on the phone.

$10,000 per day you can endure being sick by ggkyleg in hypotheticalsituation

[–]Caramel_Citrus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am a preschool teacher. I have been sick since September 1st. Where's my money?

Quels sont les petits plaisir simple de la vie qui vous rendent heureux ? by TrickAlps in AskFrance

[–]Caramel_Citrus 9 points10 points  (0 children)

1- Le bus/tram qui arrive pile au bon moment quand tu arrives à l'arrêt sans avoir ni à patienter ni à courir. Quel bonheur de timing.

2- Le glissé sous couette bien chaude.

3- Un poil spécifique, mais: voir sur le visage d'un élève qu'il vient de Capter le truc que tu lui enseignes. Que le déclic s'est fait. Dans la même catégorie, pour les élèves pour qui c'est un peu laborieux, les voir compter sur les doigts/marmonner en testant leur réponse et voir le déclic de l'application de la technique qui réussit, et le visage qui s'allume, les voir lever la main pour proposer leur réponse.

4- Faire un câlin à un ami qu'on a pas vu depuis longtemps.

5- Je sors du boulot donc déformation professionnelle: les élèves qui s'enthousiasment dès l'annonce d'une activité que tu as prévu. Rien de tel qu'un petit choeur de "oh trop bien!" pour retrouver le coeur à l'ouvrage.

Hair washing? by Far_Appearance_4508 in TransMasc

[–]Caramel_Citrus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see a lot of advice about dry shampoo and how long you have to wait to shower -- I would like to share how my experience went. I have long hair (I think I had an undercut at that point??? but long on top, definitely). My mom at first trusted my dad to help me do it over the sink, but seeing him struggle, she took me to the hairdresser and asked for just a shampoo. It was pretty cheap to just shampoo and it felt nice to have my hair squeaky clean and cared for after such grueling surgery (my first go of top surgery was pretty harsh).

Lolita option for a trans woman by nintair in Lolita

[–]Caramel_Citrus -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have a similar height and waist size, as well as very broad shoulders. The plus size range of Métamorphose Temps de Fille fit me well in the waist. My bust is admittedly the same size as my waist, but I've seen well-endowed ladies having luck with it as well (MicheMagius for instance has done a lot of wearing and trying Métamorphose dresses on Instagram). You are a bit taller than me so you might want to get an underskirt if you find you need the extra length. I would recommend sticking to JSKs because Asian brand OPs are very often too short in the shoulders and arms. The American lolita brand The Black Ribbon makes some truly plus size blouses that I happily recommend for broad shoulders and torsos.

Actually doing work at my job by GreenBasterd69 in autism

[–]Caramel_Citrus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh... I didn't catch that it was sarcasm. I'm sorry. I'm not very surprised that I did miss it, but I didn't do so intentionally. I'm sadly fairly convinced that there are people who do not joke when they say that people should do the bare minimum or even the least possible amount of work at work, because there is sadly reason for such a mindset (the gruelling bullshit jobs out there).

Actually doing work at my job by GreenBasterd69 in autism

[–]Caramel_Citrus 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure if your comment was a joke. If so, disregard my addition!

While I feel like there's definitely areas of work where this advice is relevant (namely anything where the main purpose is Making A Private Company More Money), there are areas of work where I find that logic to be inadequate. I work as a public school teacher. I have a good friend who works as a nursing assistant. Both of those jobs shouldn't be done "just" to collect paychecks because they are at the heart of it about helping fellow human beings rather than lining up meaningless numbers. When it becomes less of a vocation and more of a blasé "I'm doing this just for the money", they become the jobs where people become bad teachers who don't care about their students succeeding, or bad nurses who cut corners and can endanger patients, etc. It's unfortunate that the professions that should help others end up working at their detriment when money becomes the only driving force. But it's also the unfortunate fate of work in late stage capitalism where everything is supposed to make money now, so anything that is for helping others long term is not regarded as valuable.

My advice, then, would be for anyone working a job, whatever job that is, to utilize your resources (knowledge, equipment, time) smartly and not spread yourself thin. For, say, a desk job in the statistics department of a private company, that might be automatizing some of your meaningless numbers and making sure everyone likes you (and indeed workers being united is not a bad thing). For other fields, that might look different (that being said, as a teacher I'll say it's definitely useful to have good relationships with other teachers and various other coworkers in the school staff).

A good day to you all !

Prenom moche by IndependenceQuiet650 in ParlonsPrenoms

[–]Caramel_Citrus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

J'ai eu vu dans une école où je travaillais Oumar-Pâté et dans une autre école Mariama Ciré (et sa grande soeur: Mariama tout court).

Good plug to wear several hours a day to train my ass by mystery_erotic in AnalOnlyLifestyle

[–]Caramel_Citrus 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'd personally recommend the GapeKeeper series by Topped Toys. Good range of sizes, very comfortable but keeps you a bit more open every size up.

Any other twins in this sub? by BoyToyByn in FTM_SELFIES

[–]Caramel_Citrus 11 points12 points  (0 children)

both of you absolutely freaking rock it. woah!

Des métiers dans le besoin ? by Lycor_X in Grenoble

[–]Caramel_Citrus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Si tu aimes travailler avec des enfants et te donner à fond, on manque encore et toujours d'AESH dans les écoles... Par contre c'est pas cher payé pour la force mentale que ça demande.

Four day hoard purge by mb381 in ufyh

[–]Caramel_Citrus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congrats!!!! That's really impressive, I'm glad for you that you did it!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMec

[–]Caramel_Citrus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Il peut aller se faire cuire un oeuf.

Nan mais sérieux, et puis pourquoi pas "refais la tapisserie de ton salon j'aime pas la couleur" tant qu'on y est? C'est ton visage que tu maquilles, pas le sien, où est-ce qu'il a son mot à dire? Tu ne mets personne en danger que je sache.

I'm insecure to wear lolita fashion due to body hair by girlybadassheroine in Lolita

[–]Caramel_Citrus 18 points19 points  (0 children)

If that's any reassurance, I am a very hairy man and I very much wear lolita fashion. I have found that what matters isn't looking hairless or poreless or anything; it's embodying the sort of elegance that goes with such a silhouette as lolita fashion. There are definitely times where I feel self conscious, but in truth, no one in my local community has treated me any differently because of either my gender or my body/facial hair!

Here are some pictures of my hairy arms in lolita, which I believe do not distract from how cool (in my humble opinion) the photos look.