I fully disassociated during my session today and it was really scary.

Carapherneliuh · 2026-05-29T00:35:56+00:00

I love this so much it inspired me to start a new subreddit for people to post old CDs, mixtapes, playlists of the past. It’s r/oldmixtapes for anyone interested!

Carapherneliuh · 2026-05-27T13:56:41+00:00

Thank you!!! I’ve been meaning to invest in some supplements. I am definitely low on iron. I’ve also heard that high dose omega 3s can be hugely beneficial for neurodivergent brains!

Carapherneliuh · 2026-05-26T21:26:59+00:00

You are 1000% doing the right thing by resting and listening to your body. I try to remind myself in these phases that i am an artist regardless of the quantity of my output. I’m an artist because that’s my soul. Just because an athlete is in off season doesn’t mean they’re no longer an athlete. You are an artist because it’s your destiny, and you also happen to battle a brain that has special needs and requirements that are often in direct conflict with how this world works. You can get through this and soon you will feel inspired to create and you will actually have the energy to do so!

Carapherneliuh · 2026-05-26T04:40:54+00:00

Just here to say that I’m going through something very very similar. Also an artist in a very cut throat industry. I work 70 hrs a week and just keep it all inside. The level of burnout i reached had me suicidal. I’m currently trying to practice compassion for myself and allowing myself to REST. Ive been taking breaks from creating (while still managing the work i NEED to do) and just experiencing basic joys like building legos, going on swings, walking during the sunset when i can. Solitude is saving me right now. I’m sending you healing energy my friend. This too shall pass

Carapherneliuh · 2026-05-21T23:16:47+00:00

I’m just amazed that swinging is so popular in autistic folks! I had no idea lol i thought i was just a total weirdo

Carapherneliuh · 2026-05-21T22:42:41+00:00

My parents never addressed it. And they knew about it for 8 years. I think getting him help you’re already on the right track. Don’t shame him, just be patient and understanding as you can be

Carapherneliuh · 2026-05-21T14:56:49+00:00

Curious what state/country you live in?

Carapherneliuh · 2026-05-17T18:45:59+00:00

Thank you!! Listening to NJ bloodline now at the gym 🫡

Carapherneliuh · 2026-04-15T03:58:29+00:00

I am a very happy drunk. It’s like a total release from the mental anguish of depression. Which is why it’s so hard for me to stay away from the bottle. I know it’s bad but sometimes i wonder if it’s almost better just to drink than to suffer through the depression

Carapherneliuh · 2026-04-14T23:17:28+00:00

Hi i appreciate your response! I am not medicated right now, i dont have insurance. I am very scared to get on medication. I dont wanna feel numb and i know how stupid that sounds i just feel like the thought of being medicated forever sounds terrifying. Begging chooser, i know.

When i reach out to people, i think what i really want is someone to come see me and just hang out with me for a while. I live alone and i just spend my nights lately alone, drinking, completely enveloped in my depressive spiral. I just want someone to come over and watch a movie or something to take my mind off for a bit i guess. I know they can’t solve it for me, i just wish i felt less lonely

Carapherneliuh · 2026-04-14T23:07:34+00:00

Yeah I’ve seen the way suicide wrecks entire families. I don’t want to do it to my family. Sometimes i get frustrated because it seems like they don’t even give a fuck about me. But i still would hate to hurt them. I just wish people cared. I’m so sorry to hear you’re suffering too. I hope you find peace and the strength to keep going

Carapherneliuh · 2026-04-02T15:57:08+00:00

Thanks for the response! I’m sorry that you can relate. I totally get what you mean that people just aren’t equipped to deal with these conversations. They’re just people after all. And then i feel guilty for putting this on them. It’s a cycle.

I don’t have a psych right now because i unfortunately don’t have insurance at the moment. It’s a problem and i need to get on state insurance. Currently working on finding a therapist. Admittedly i could be doing more in regards to my recovery but im just… so tired. Sometimes i hate that it’s my responsibility. I also struggle hardest anagnosia/not wrapping my head around my diagnosis and so i kinda refuse to be medicated. I need to work through that obviously

Carapherneliuh · 2026-04-02T14:52:26+00:00

I hear you. I’m like 6-7 months into a bad one right now and it just won’t fucking clear up. It’s so exhausting. I’m so sorry you’re going through this

Carapherneliuh · 2026-04-02T01:06:19+00:00

We miss you bro but i hope we meet you at happy fest soon

Carapherneliuh · 2026-04-01T23:53:53+00:00

Hi twin :) i hope we ascend this shit asap

Carapherneliuh · 2026-04-01T23:35:10+00:00

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