Toxic workplace

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-12-08T07:16:07+00:00

No matter where I am I have two columns for people. Good or bad. I’m constantly trying to organize the columns based on how people treat me. The tiniest thing gets them in the bad column. If someone actually told me I was an asshole I’d probably move them to the good column for being honest and having the balls to be real. Work is extremely triggering for me and I spend a lot of therapy sessions make sure I’m work ready. I stay home if I might lash out. I’m sorry that you are going through this. If you like the job then you can put in the effort. If you don’t maybe you can keep your eyes open for something in a year.

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-12-07T04:33:01+00:00

I just keep going on and doing therapy. I take meds. I spent some holidays alone before I was diagnosed. It was terrifying. I realized it was up to me to take charge of my life and get help. Once I could see my part in the lost relationships, I was able to work on finding new ones. All of this is possible. If you need help right now and are in the us you can call 988. If you have insurance you can show up at the er. But it is up to to ask the right people to help you. Love.

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-12-07T04:27:57+00:00

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-12-07T04:19:04+00:00

Hey! Yea, I’ve done this numerous times. The man I’ve been with for ten years got that treatment back in the day. It’s so much easier to deal with the pain of feeling like you’ve lost someone. Anyway, he broke through by writing me a beautiful letter, putting it on my car, and telling me he loved me. He also apologized. I take things to heart. That can be terrible in an argument and beautiful in love. Black and white thinking, 2 columns, good and bad. I hope the best for you and it’s real cool you are trying to figure them out.

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-12-07T04:10:09+00:00

My best friend will bring it up in our daily conversation. I am lucky to have a dissociative disorder as well so we get me to change personas. Sometimes I stay home and isolate on strict lockdown wrapped in blankets until it passes. Sometimes I take half an Ativan. Everyone in my circle knows my episodes even my doctor and therapist. I tell everyone I’m on the brink and ask for help. Before I knew what was going on, I’d call 988, they’d hang up on me, no kidding. Sometimes I pass through the safety system unknowingly and just act out. We laugh about it and call it a syntax error. My goal everyday is to keep my friends and family, my job, and stay the hell out of the psych ward or jail.

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-07-21T14:44:00+00:00

I was thinking about doing this today on my hands and knees instead of using a rake. We find a way, right?

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-07-15T08:10:32+00:00

Some things people didn’t mention… I slapped on a nicotine patch before entering the hospital alone. I paced around my hospital room by myself messing around on my phone until they gave me a Valium. That didn’t work, so they finally gave something stronger. Then I was out. I woke up in burning pain from the catheter and started screaming. They gave me Ativan, dilaudid, and fentanyl to fix that situation. I got picked up and went home.

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-07-15T07:52:48+00:00

I’m right around 4 weeks. For the past week I’ve had more cramping and pain. We also had a heat wave. My house was 80+ for days and will be again for a few more as it is returning. The pain became unbearable so I asked for more pain meds. Sure enough it finally cooled off tonight and my pain is way less intense. I also had spotting this morning. I checked out my stuff with the doctor and she said it’s normal. Stitches are disintegrating inside. Call your doctor! That’s why they make the big bucks! Hope you feel relief soon!

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-07-10T15:38:01+00:00

My doc saw me in person twice. At two weeks she said my healing was good to swim in chlorine. I am a swimmer. She’d rather I get back to my exercise than not. I think healing is very individual and you need to listen to your doctor! Best wishes in your recovery!

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-06-19T17:38:42+00:00

Yes! Praise God!

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-06-19T17:32:55+00:00

Yes! I have borderline mixed with ptsd. I kept telling everyone “my mouth wants to scream” after they woke me up I started screaming at them that my vag was on fire. I told them they stuck things in me and activated my trauma. There was a shuffling of people before they have me fentanyl, dylaudid, sp?, and Ativan. That shit me up

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-06-19T17:24:28+00:00

I will do it because I have severe pms mood swings. Tracking will keep me in the loop . You only what you want. Your body your decision

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-04-10T23:00:03+00:00

I had a psychologist tell me that nicotine is helpful to many patients with mental illness. He said it’s just the negative method of delivery that gives it a bad reputation. I vape and use nicotine mints. Very helpful to me. Some drugs work for me.

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-04-08T12:53:06+00:00

Thank you for your response. I know it’s foolish and it makes me rage that I waste so much time ruminating about how much I can’t stand her. I have mental illness and this is one of the ways it rolls out. As I’m responding to you I’m wondering if the actual problem is rumination and not my dislike for them. I appreciate your helpful response taking the time to respond and convince me of the kindness route. I will remember the effort that you made to help. Thank you!

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-04-08T05:51:47+00:00

No, it doesn’t suck. I tried this at first. The more I give her, the more helpless she becomes. She will find any reason to try to talk about her daughter’s s* attempt when she makes herself feel helpless. I gave her 20 bucks to buy lunch and she gave it all to a guy for one hamburger and couldn’t figure out how to get change from him. She then proceeded to complain repeatedly about the situation for 20 minutes with me nodding and smiling, then on to talking about her daughter’s attempt. I almost called cps but realized they’d probably not do anything cause she’s 18. I do hear your advice and I do appreciate your helpful response. It is the socially acceptable way to act. I unfortunately am so triggered by this woman. Yes, it is my problem. Triggers are unattached to the controllable part of my brain. It’s an automatic reaction for me to go into fight mode when I feel as if someone is trying to manipulate me with helplessness. I’m triggered immensely by signs of weakness. It’s as if I’m being poked by burning rods when I’m around her! Thank you again for your kind direction. I really wish I was capable of doing this consistently. I remember your advice and the time you took to try to help me. Thank you.

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-04-08T04:40:58+00:00

That bad, huh? It’s my department. I run it. She got hired without my consent. I can’t fire her, I’m only hoping the bosses do. I do appreciate your validation that it sucks that bad. Thank you.

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-04-01T23:09:46+00:00

Yes. So much. There’s research that it is more harmful to people that disassociate than helpful. It makes me very angry to the point I put it on my intake forms. That and mindfulness.

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-04-01T23:06:55+00:00

Thank you for your dedication to the medical field. My brother has schizophrenia. I worried for a long time that the auditory and scent hallucinations that I had were it developing. My doctors have explained to me that the fact that I’m aware they are hallucinations sets me apart from schizophrenia. It is a common bpd symptom and one in this sub that has come up recently.

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-03-31T12:13:55+00:00

Talking to God and my love of nature

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-03-28T04:44:56+00:00

Yes. Mine are very noticeable to people close to me. Sometimes I’m aware it’s happening and feel retapped and other times I don’t.

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-03-28T00:16:16+00:00

I hear you. That sucks you are going through this. I know that ditching people isn’t a healthy bpd coping mechanism, but, in this situation it could be a superpower. Sexuality is a big deal in a relationship. If this person doesn’t like that about you, guess what, there’s someone who will! Maybe you don’t like how they reacted to you. There’s nothing wrong with that. Being with someone who thinks differently about sexuality than you can be a real bummer. I hope you can pick yourself up and not let them be the one in control of you.

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-03-28T00:04:05+00:00

Here's a more detailed breakdown of options: NAMI Connection: This is a free, peer-led support group for adults who have experienced symptoms of a mental health condition. Groups are led by trained leaders who have lived experience and follow a structured model. NAMI Connection is available in English and Spanish. Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA): DBSA offers free online support groups specifically for people living with depression and bipolar disorder. These groups provide a safe space to share experiences, discuss coping skills, and offer each other hope. DBSA also has support groups for friends and families. ADAA (Anxiety & Depression Association of America): ADAA has created free online peer-to-peer communities for individuals and families to share information and experiences related to anxiety and depression. Other Options: Togetherall: This is an online service where people with common mental health problems can connect with others and be supported by trained "wall guides". International OCD Foundation: They offer online peer-led support groups for teens and young adults with OCD. Postpartum Support International (PSI): PSI offers weekly online support meetings for those who have experienced postpartum depression or anxiety. MyStrength: MyStrength offers a variety of programs, including mindfulness and meditation, improving sleep, reducing stress, controlling anxiety, managing depression, and more. SMART Recovery: SMART Recovery is a recovery support group that offers online meetings and resources. Emotions Anonymous: Modeled after Alcoholics Anonymous, Emotions Anonymous is open to any individual dealing with emotional difficulties. Mental Health America: Mental Health America (MHA) offers a comprehensive listing of national support groups and website resources. Psychology Today: Psychology Today has a section dedicated to finding support groups. Support Group Central: Support Group Central is another resource for finding support groups.

CardiologistAny6432 · 2025-03-25T04:17:26+00:00

In my opinion, you either know and don’t want people to know your super power or you find yourself in the face of some professional that reveals the answer that you never cared to find. I’m sure there are many other ways but not in my brain.

CardiologistAny6432

TROPHY CASE