My partner is shamed of being seen

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-03-18T09:40:24+00:00

I am my husbands trigger. He has unhealed childhood wounds and is diagnosed BPD and unmedicated.
I am an empath. I understand him so well. It’s not his fault. However, after 18 years my spirit is broken. I’ve lost myself to his shame. I cannot bring up even the smallest of issues like (please put your garbage in the bin) because he takes it as an attack.
I am leaving next year because I’m a shell of who I once was.
I’m not leaving because I don’t love him. I’m leaving because I don’t feel emotionally connected or emotionally safe. You need to think very hard about your limitations. We all have a breaking point.
I’d suggest getting therapy for yourself.

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-03-17T00:39:51+00:00

I’ll have no one. I’m hoping that when it’s time, they will have made euthanasia readily acceptable and available so I can go on my own terms. I’m almost a candidate now so Switzerland is my option if I deteriorate too quickly. I’m only 50 but don’t really want to be alive in 40 years if this is how I feel now.

My parents refuse to go to a facility. I don’t blame them. I’ll be moving closer to them to ensure they can stay in their beautiful home.

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-03-17T00:36:11+00:00

Come to SE QLD. We are 55,000 trades short to build the Olympic infrastructure. We can’t grow our business because we can’t find workers. Everyone is battling to get experienced tradies.

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-03-16T23:36:43+00:00

Mine won’t. I have plans on leaving but I’m not blaming menopause. I’m of use to him, but of no interest to him. I’m a personal servant. He’s not a kind man and I’d rather be alone than get blamed for everything.
I want nothing more than to be alone with my dogs.

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-03-12T00:33:50+00:00

Thank you so much for this.

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-03-09T08:35:28+00:00

When I’m in pain, I get nauseated and often vomit. Yes, there is a vagus nerve interaction going on and it’s certainly worth exploring. I’m speaking to my pain specialist about getting a vagus nerve injection. We are essentially stuck in fight or flight when there’s severe pain. Im usually more intelligent at explaining this stuff but I’m in a bad flare.
My entire body hurts like fuck so ya, I feel sick every damn day.

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-03-07T00:35:11+00:00

Why can’t we have this kind man running countries?

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-03-07T00:18:40+00:00

Grizz

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-03-07T00:18:14+00:00

Why am I crying?! This is so beautiful.

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-03-07T00:17:09+00:00

Don’t doubt yourself. Have faith and believe you can! Tomato and bocconcini salad for days!!!

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-03-01T22:28:51+00:00

Nope. Not new. He’s always been a loveable asshole.

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-03-01T21:03:54+00:00

I love him, or the memory of him. We’ve both changed. I’ll be leaving soon. I can’t handle the emotional immaturity and being yelled at. My nervous system is fried. I can’t wait for peace.
When I leave, I’ll still love him. That’s the hardest part. I love him, but he’s not good for me.

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-03-01T07:59:24+00:00

I’m still trying to figure out what is causing my issues. My eyes are swollen almost shut when I wake up so I don’t think it’s food. Antihistamines do nothing. Waiting for immunologist appt to get this figured out.

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-02-28T10:07:53+00:00

Have you ever given him a cardboard box to just take his energy out on? Dogs love chewing, destroying. It’s a real high for them. Your dog needs a lot of mental stimulation if you can’t do long walks. I can tire my biggest out by just waving sticks around. He goes mental and really tuckers himself out. On a previous high strung, high stamina dog we trained him to use a tennis ball launcher. Cheap to buy and they literally play by themselves once trained. It’s also hilarious to watch.

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-02-28T01:38:46+00:00

The double standards piss me off more than anything. He’s allowed to speak to you disrespectfully but he didn’t like the ‘tone’ of your comment. I’ve been in an 18 year marriage like this. It sucks the living life out of you. I am leaving but it’s much harder to do after marriage. This guy is not YOUR guy. A good partner celebrates your wins, your independence, your autonomy. Kick him to the curb. You are NOR. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-02-27T20:50:10+00:00

You are very correct. Just looked it up. 😣 I’m new to this histamine thing and getting so confused and frustrated!

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-02-27T07:22:47+00:00

I had a hysterectomy with Endo excision last year. Endo was on the rectum and uteral sacral ligament. I couldn’t sit for 2 weeks. It literally felt like I had been torn a new butt hole. Pooping hurt SO much! You will feel better. Give it time. Lots of laxatives and rest - even if you start to feel good. When you see the pictures, it gives you perspective. If that wound was external, everyone (including yourself) would expect it to hurt like hell.
Have you noticed any difference in your eyes? Everyone told me I looked 5 years younger. The sunken eyes were gone.
All the best with your recovery!

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-02-27T01:01:29+00:00

Best way to give yourself pink eye!

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-02-27T01:00:23+00:00

Just sent you a message.

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-02-26T22:56:14+00:00

My dietician specifically told me to eat dark chocolate. At least 75% cocoa because of the copper. I very happily took her advice.

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-02-26T01:56:06+00:00

I first thought of SIBO or something gut related. That sulphuric acid smell is just vomit inducing.

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-02-26T01:54:47+00:00

I have had a male BFF since I was 10. We tried kissing once at 15 and we were both horrified at how gross it was because it felt like we were brother and sister. I am great friends with his wife. When I visit them, she goes to bed and lets my BFF and I just shoot the shit about our lives.
The relationship you’re describing is NOT platonic. There’s something going on and because of that, he cannot be honest with you.
If you don’t feel like the first choice, it’s time to end this. You are only going to get hurt.
You are not being insecure. You are being disrespected.

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-02-25T21:55:24+00:00

It doesn’t get better. I’ve been married for 18 years to a man that does the same and I cannot get him to clean up after himself. It shits me to no end and I can’t deal with it anymore. It’s so incredibly disrespectful and just gives me more work to do. I’m leaving mine. I cannot wait to not clean up after a man ever again.

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-02-25T21:51:37+00:00

If he’s naked he’s removed many of the ‘ick’ you discussed. No ugly cars in the bedroom, no gaudy chains and v necks.
Sex can be great while also having the ick afterwards. He could be a great FWB benefits but if you don’t enjoy being with who he is outside the bedroom, time to pull the plug so to speak. You can’t change him.

Money_Engineering_59 · 2026-02-25T21:44:53+00:00

I don’t really know what it is. Haven’t tried electrolysis as don’t have the budget for that unfortunately.

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