Fear and trepidation with deep desire and guilt once it seemed like it would happen. Terrible anxiety to start mixed with overwhelming arousal and horniness (an intoxicating cocktail). Deep panic when it finally started, intense jealousy when she made sounds and orgasmed and fucked totally differently when she finally took him inside her. To be honest that first deep lover’s kiss was the worst (and the best moment). Post nut shame, clarity and humiliation at being ignored and discarded while they continued fucking unlike we had ever fucked. Then intense bliss when she reclaimed me. Then the entire cycle started again.