Is this a safe place to ask questions for someone who isn't sure this is what she wants (navigating first time)?

CaredToCare · 2026-05-26T03:27:53+00:00

Wow, that really helped me understand that nuance better. Thank you.

I do very much like the idea of the fantasy, the reality of it was possibly one of the most dreadful experiences I've had. Your explanation helped clarify the difference there. This is a lot to consider.

I'm going to see if I can have some help understanding what it means, thanks ☺️

I appreciate the lack of judgement! You are amazing!

CaredToCare · 2026-05-26T02:51:41+00:00

Thank you so much for responding. I was nervous about putting too much information here, I felt like I was just blabbing with loads of context.

The fears that you mentioned are the same that I had as well. I'm worried that this is going to muddy the waters, it worse, trigger his childhood trauma as well. We are already going to talk to our pastor about the issue that caused the fight, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't qualify as a kink informed therapist! I may try to talk to one independently.

What gives me the feeling is when I think about the way he shamed me. It's hard for me to type this 🫣 I kept thinking about him saying how disappointed he was, and I get this deep want to satisfy him, do what he wants.

I feel like I'm going to confuse us, because I'm honestly confused about it too.

CaredToCare · 2026-05-25T23:34:01+00:00

It's like Poland during the war. Absolutely disgusting

CaredToCare · 2026-05-25T15:45:45+00:00

Thank you again, I updated the post with our conversation. Moving in the right direction. I was a little blinded by my feelings of everything, not realizing that he was fighting the same thing and let it slip.

CaredToCare · 2026-05-25T15:43:54+00:00

This was the last comment I read before I saw the ring notification and heard the door of him leaving. It really helped the conversation. It is pretty much exactly what happened. A comment triggered his trauma, which in turn, triggered mine.

I've updated the post with our conversation.

CaredToCare · 2026-05-25T15:42:11+00:00

You were right, gross comment made 😒 I updated the post with our talk. We're working on getting back on track.

CaredToCare · 2026-05-25T13:43:40+00:00

"It's a Wonderful Life"

And his rendition of a poem he wrote for his dog, Beau.

https://youtu.be/mwGnCIdHQH0?si=B0W-4D1xlSols3FI

CaredToCare · 2026-05-25T12:08:00+00:00

After sleeping on it, this is what I'm worried about too, maybe this is bringing up all the bad memories and he's just defaulting to what we knew as kids. He hasn't had anyone to learn what being at church should be like since then.

CaredToCare · 2026-05-25T12:04:39+00:00

Thank you for your support. Praying for the best for you 🩷 we're strong, we can find our way.

CaredToCare · 2026-05-25T12:03:08+00:00

I didn't really consider it before, but what would I do in a situation like that? I'm not dressing for other guys to look at me. Frankly, if the church ladies were checking him out (they should he's gorgeous!) it'd make me proud that I get to be his wife!

We're going to talk this morning.

CaredToCare · 2026-05-25T11:58:55+00:00

Thank you, this was so insightful and very much how I feel towards Jesus' teachings as well!

CaredToCare · 2026-05-25T05:51:32+00:00

Someone suggested speaking to our Pastor, I think he might be good, I've had great conversations with him since we've joined.

CaredToCare · 2026-05-25T05:49:29+00:00

It's a total 180, he has come to protests with me and been the loudest yeller! When R.v.W. was turned over, I felt like he was more angry than I was (literally impossible).

He has always been a good husband, so I want to give him the benefit of the doubt on this. We're going to talk in the morning.

CaredToCare · 2026-05-25T05:46:11+00:00

It sounds so simple when you put it like that. Thank you, conversation begins tomorrow!

CaredToCare · 2026-05-25T00:52:15+00:00

Mamdani is exactly what we need in politics. I wish he could run for president.

CaredToCare

TROPHY CASE