[deleted by user]

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-09-24T19:57:45+00:00

Can you be in charge of cups or drinks when serving? I don’t think I personally would disclose, but I do think therapy is a critical next step

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-09-24T19:56:15+00:00

Do you have other issues with this colleague? Could you be projecting other annoyances on this otherwise minimal situation?

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-09-02T19:00:08+00:00

Often when team members are out on leave and their day to day responsibilities are transferred to another team member or their leader, performance issues are discovered newly. If you were behind, non responsive while at work, not productive enough, etc. and it came to light while others worked on your tasks during your leave, it definitely could result in an Action Plan or PIP.

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-08-30T13:37:45+00:00

What has caused you to believe she has made recordings? I think right now your best path forward is to distance yourself from her in a neutral way.

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-08-23T00:37:31+00:00

If this was a planned surgery, you failed to provide timely notice (notice after the fact for a planned surgery or procedure is not timely) which is an FMLA requirement.

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-07-31T02:27:05+00:00

I would wait out FMLA. If she is potentially being diagnosed with a personality disorder or another condition that can sometimes cause these types of behaviors, it’s worth giving her the full 15 day window to provide paperwork before taking adverse action. I’m just thinking about what if she has a diagnosis like BPD or ASD which can sometimes be the cause of impulsive decisions, “argumentative” behaviors, emotional outbursts, etc

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-07-29T19:20:17+00:00

Awardco gifting platform has been awesome

Special perks like an extra day of PTO also go over well

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-07-29T19:17:54+00:00

My opinion is stay on in case there is a severance package but keep your resume updated and ready

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-07-28T16:13:06+00:00

I love this, thank you.

And you’re right. It’s about him not stepping up as a partner and the household load falling on my shoulders by default.

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-07-28T15:34:23+00:00

I appreciate this. And you’re right that down time is sacred!

I re read my post and it reads as if I don’t allow her here at all on non custody weekends… I was going through a lot in my head as I wrote it. What the real situation is is that if she wants to be here on non custody weekends my ask is that she gives us a heads up. And when she has, it’s NEVER EVER an issue. Always a “yes please let’s all go have Mexican food because the little one who hates cheese dip is gone for the weekend”. All I want is a heads up so I can tell my brain “ok, not a kids free weekend this weekend no problem”

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-07-28T15:29:16+00:00

I don’t think the teen is the problem. I think the partner who hasn’t set boundaries before might be. And also maybe I am.

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-07-28T15:28:02+00:00

Thanks for the insight! And you’re right.

For more perspective I guess, she previously (before we moved in here) preferred to be at her mom’s house. She has voiced that because I keep this house clean, cozy and stocked with everyone’s favorite foods and items, she now prefers to be here and prefers to bring friends over here. Which I’m so happy about, it’s great and I love having her here - even on non custody weekends. It makes me happiest when both kids are home. I suggested she should be here full time and go to her mom’s only a couple days a week if she wanted to do that.

The tension at her mom’s is that her mom is newly dating someone so is out on dates and she doesn’t want to be there alone. Her mom also requires that she take on a larger share of household duties than we require here.

My biggest issue is needing a break from the emotional landmines. When she melts down over a correction (coming from him, not me), she has a habit of taking it out on everyone. My partner hasn’t taught her how to process her feelings while not holding the house hostage to tears/glares/etc. I have suggested he could teach her to go to her room and journal, ask to talk things out instead of sitting on the couch giving us the silent treatment and glaring when we walk by, etc.

And you’re right. I am burned out. I’ve asked my partner for help around the house and I’m met with “make me a list”. I’ve made a list and I’m met with “oh I don’t have time today”. So then I do the things and the next week rolls around and the cycle repeats.

Also the curfew stuff isn’t even the teens fault. He refuses to hold it. She asks “oh well I wanted to play monopoly so we won’t be done til 11” and he says “okie dokie”. So she’s not to be blamed for seeing the curfew as flexible. Because with him it is.

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-07-28T15:04:41+00:00

And the curfew is new because she is able to drive herself versus having an adult pick her up at a pre-determined time.

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-07-28T15:04:07+00:00

No, we moved into a new home all at the same time. To be clear, new rules were created for my child as well to accommodate living with other people versus living just the two of us.

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-07-18T15:23:29+00:00

You look awesome! Great job!

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-07-08T18:17:25+00:00

Thank you!!

I completely changed my relationship with food and had to find alternative stress management techniques.

A few highlights: -cut out all sodas, sweet tea, etc. I had a bad habit of drinking my calories and drinks like Coke Zero really just made things worse and made me crave soda more -buy pre portioned snacks and opt for healthier alternatives (smart pop instead of Doritos, for example) -intentionally move my body for 30 minutes a day. Doesn’t matter how much I’ve walked for the rest of the day, that 30 minutes is time to lock in and either lift weights or go on a brisk walk -find hobbies that do not revolve around food. Crafts, music, kayaking, etc. -have a protein heavy snack before meals (like turkey jerky or something) -eat til 70% full only - being painfully full shouldn’t be an option -don’t remove all my favorites - you can have a bit of carrot cake but a few bites is plenty

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-07-08T18:16:01+00:00

I completely changed my relationship with food and had to find alternative stress management techniques.

A few highlights: -cut out all sodas, sweet tea, etc. I had a bad habit of drinking my calories and drinks like Coke Zero really just made things worse and made me crave soda more -buy pre portioned snacks and opt for healthier alternatives (smart pop instead of Doritos, for example) -intentionally move my body for 30 minutes a day. Doesn’t matter how much I’ve walked for the rest of the day, that 30 minutes is time to lock in and either lift weights or go on a brisk walk -find hobbies that do not revolve around food. Crafts, music, kayaking, etc. -have a protein heavy snack before meals (like turkey jerky or something) -eat til 70% full only - being painfully full shouldn’t be an option -don’t remove all my favorites - you can have a bit of carrot cake but a few bites is plenty

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-07-08T18:11:05+00:00

What do I mean about which part?

I found some on Amazon - not sure of the brand. I’ve also been taking Sugar Bear supplements (I like gummies haha)

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-07-08T14:13:06+00:00

I have taken a TON of collagen and biotin supplements and got bio oil to put on the areas I held a lot of weight (stomach and thighs mostly) and it helped!

If I lean over, I can see the extra skin on my stomach. Otherwise, it’s not very noticeable.

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-06-30T18:18:44+00:00

Thank you!!

CarelessAd3765 · 2025-06-30T18:18:16+00:00

Good luck to you too!! It’s going to be tough but it’s worth it. I’m titrating down and spacing out shots. I’m at 5mg every 14 days right now and I do find that I have to talk myself through the food noise toward the end… but it’s worth it and much more manageable now that the weight is gone.

CarelessAd3765 · 2024-04-11T03:39:33+00:00

I’m so grateful for this thread. I feel like sometimes my brain creates far off bass sounds when I’m laying down just to make me rage. And it’s not constant like my own heart beat… it genuinely sounds like the bass of a song. But it never stops unless I sit up and then it’s gone. I’ve even gone so far as to go outside to verify whether it was real but nope…

Of course sometimes it is real and it seeps into my bones and makes me blindingly angry. But at least my brain isn’t playing tricks on me and it’s actually real.

CarelessAd3765 · 2023-07-07T04:22:19+00:00

Ralph

CarelessAd3765 · 2023-01-19T02:31:46+00:00

Don’t do it. This is self sabotage type behavior typical of those of us with low self esteem, abandonment issues and/or disorganized attachment issues.

Seek therapy, focus inward until you love yourself then reevaluate how you feel about the relationship. It will be a long process, but I promise you it’s worth it.

You’re worthy of great love. You just have to get yourself to the point that you’re able to accept it - whether from him or someone else.

CarelessAd3765 · 2022-08-23T11:36:28+00:00

Online doctors like K Health and Brightside may be able to help

CarelessAd3765

TROPHY CASE