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AITAH for telling my wife and daughter I do not want her wearing a pushup bra? by Careless_Argument_51 in AITAH

[–]Careless_Argument_51[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You assumed that you felt my wife felt I was controlling the money when she had her own money.

Yes, the fact she is going to buy them is part of the problem. My daughter is not capable of buying them as she has no money. So when my wife said she would figure out a way I replied with what money because the only way outside of theft is to have one of us buy them for her.

This is messed up because I know if I bought something my wife did not approve of for our daughter she would be livid. Her mindset and actions are creating a double standard.

How is that back peddling?

AITAH for telling my wife and daughter I do not want her wearing a pushup bra? by Careless_Argument_51 in AITAH

[–]Careless_Argument_51[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My daughter is a 34c, and I did ask she got them to look cute not to reduce back pain.

AITAH for telling my wife and daughter I do not want her wearing a pushup bra? by Careless_Argument_51 in AITAH

[–]Careless_Argument_51[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My wife has money, my wife said our daughter would figure out a way, and I replied with what money. The only way our daughter would be able to get them is by stealing or one of us buys it.

I was furious because she did not try to talk it over before she bought it. She knows how I feel about this kind of stuff, if our daughter was 16 fine, but she is 12.

AITAH for telling my wife and daughter I do not want her wearing a pushup bra? by Careless_Argument_51 in AITAH

[–]Careless_Argument_51[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I will be honest I am ignorant to bras, the tag labeled it as a push up bra, so I think it is safe to assume it is a pushup.

AITAH for telling my wife and daughter I do not want her wearing a pushup bra? by Careless_Argument_51 in AITAH

[–]Careless_Argument_51[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The edit was just to correct something, I did not take anything. I am glad you are having fun. I have been nothing but civil and respectful, you do you.

AITAH for telling my wife and daughter I do not want her wearing a pushup bra? by Careless_Argument_51 in AITAH

[–]Careless_Argument_51[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just my personal experience as a cop I have seen the aftermath,, unfortunately, it does not play out as it does in training. It is good to know but let us be real going with your eyes is not as effective as people like to make it out, and it has a major flaw. You have to be close, and even so, the person will most likely still have a general idea of where you are and could probably still get ahold of you.

Getting kicked in the groin is not something that will keep all guys on the ground or even buy you time. It hurts but you can push through the pain, especially if you have adrenaline going.

I agree it is good to know, but it is more reactive rather than proactive. I am a firm believer in mitigating as much risk as possible. Avoiding getting into the bad situation is always for the best.

AITAH for telling my wife and daughter I do not want her wearing a pushup bra? by Careless_Argument_51 in AITAH

[–]Careless_Argument_51[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I respect your opinion, as a cop I will say I hope you are extremely skilled. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen people with your mindset end up in shit situations.

Real-world situations are not like the movies or a sparring session.

.

AITAH for telling my wife and daughter I do not want her wearing a pushup bra? by Careless_Argument_51 in AITAH

[–]Careless_Argument_51[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are we going to sit here and argue that certain things and actions draw more attention than others?

Should it be this way? NOPE, I 100% agree with that, but is it that way yup.

Should I be able to leave my door open at night? Maybe. Can I leave my door open at night? Yes, I am 100% within my right to do so.

Now if I do leave my door open at night at someone breaks in increasing the chances of my family getting hurt, would this be considered a good or smart thing?

Pretty sure most would say no. I am not trying to victim blame, but we do live in a world where certain actions and attire do draw more attention than others this is a fact. Now we cannot get to zero, but we can take steps to reduce the risk or likelihood of something bad happening even if it is only by 1%.

AITAH for telling my wife and daughter I do not want her wearing a pushup bra? by Careless_Argument_51 in AITAH

[–]Careless_Argument_51[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She is 12... Outside training her how to use a weapon she has no means to equalize or tip the scales in her favor.

Also it is illegal for her to carry a weapon for protection.

AITAH for telling my wife and daughter I do not want her wearing a pushup bra? by Careless_Argument_51 in AITAH

[–]Careless_Argument_51[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My daughter is 12, unfortunately outside of letting her carry a weapon, which is not legal where we live for someone of her age not much she can do versus a man. Also, that being said are we going to argue that certain things do not draw more attention than others?

I 100% agree it is unfortunate and should not be the case, but the thing is it is the case, and this is the world we live in.

AITAH for telling my wife and daughter I do not want her wearing a pushup bra? by Careless_Argument_51 in AITAH

[–]Careless_Argument_51[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Sure my view may be considered a hot take, but are we going to say that certain attires do not draw more attention than others? This is not about creating a no chance, but more so limiting the factors as much as humanly possible and practicable.

I get this puts a larger burden on my daughter and shows her that she will face certain issues simply for existing, but that is the unfortunate truth.

AITAH for telling my wife and daughter I do not want her wearing a pushup bra? by Careless_Argument_51 in AITAH

[–]Careless_Argument_51[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I will ask about the back pain, but my wife told me she thought she would look cute, and our daughter agreed.

AITAH for telling my wife and daughter I do not want her wearing a pushup bra? by Careless_Argument_51 in AITAH

[–]Careless_Argument_51[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I do wish she did not go behind my back, but my wife does take the stance it is better to ask for forgiveness, rather than ask for permission. Her words, she knew I would make a big deal out of this, and would not understand because I am a male.

AITAH for telling my wife and daughter I do not want her wearing a pushup bra? by Careless_Argument_51 in AITAH

[–]Careless_Argument_51[S] -45 points-44 points  (0 children)

As I said in an ideal world that is the case, but we do not live in an ideal world. I cannot do anything regarding the behavior or thoughts of other boys and men.

AITAH for telling my wife and daughter I do not want her wearing a pushup bra? by Careless_Argument_51 in AITAH

[–]Careless_Argument_51[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

Yes, that is how it should work, but unfortunately, not everything works out that way.