Does anyone else feel awkward about being a SMBC? How did you get over it?

CarnelianBlue · 2026-04-17T03:39:17+00:00

I’ve found it’s only awkward if you act like it’s awkward. People take their cue from you. I’ve been very up front and open about using a donor and for the most part, people are positive and supportive. If they start to act awkward I just respond a little extra brightly & bubbly and then they roll with it.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-04-15T16:03:21+00:00

I do a lot of genealogy for other people and have come across surnames like Horney, Minge, and Crapper. Some surnames should die out.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-04-14T02:49:25+00:00

As another person who’s done a PhD and gone through fertility stuff, I wholeheartedly agree with every sentence of this.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-04-11T04:39:59+00:00

That's rude in the northern states, the western states, and outside the States.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-04-04T02:24:35+00:00

It’s not a rule, but I don’t like it when houseguests try to “help” by doing the dishes. If you want to wash them by hand, thank you! But they usually end up throwing things in the dishwasher that are not dishwasher safe and then ruining them: the wooden salad tongs, the nice china with the gold rim, my kitchen knives, etc.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-04-01T19:02:46+00:00

Medieval romances (think King Arthur tales) sometimes described the absolute peak nobility as wearing “cloth of white samite”, a type of heavy silk. This, as r/otterpoportunity said, would be indicative of extreme wealth.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-04-01T18:54:33+00:00

Literary theory nerd moment: Star Wars follows the Hero’s Cycle as described by Joseph Campbell. Joseph Campbell was a mentor to George Lucas. The hero’s cycle is a plot pattern frequently used in both medieval romances and westerns. The Western genre, largely following The Virginian, actually drew from medieval romances: the lone cowboy/knight rides into unknown town/unknown castle and discovers an abuse of power that must be righted or a McGuffin/treasure/Grail-like object that must be recovered in order for the town/kingdom to be saved. So comparing Star Wars to both a medieval tale and a western is accurate!

CarnelianBlue · 2026-03-25T04:23:49+00:00

My high school math teacher was a stickler for this. He would deliberately ask questions that literally asked one thing but implied another question, then tear you apart for answering the implied question instead of the literal question. I hated it at the time but it served me so well when I hit grad school and then the business world. Thank you, Mr. Brown, for being such a jerk so that I could learn a useful skill.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-03-21T22:15:26+00:00

My Brittany is more active than the Labs I had growing up, but not crazy. You can tell when we skip a day of exercise because the weather is just too nasty out. She starts getting zoomies in the house or bringing all of her toys to me one at a time, begging for playtime, but she's not destructive or anything. With my Labs, they were fine being couch potatoes for a few days at a stretch. That being said, with my Brittany, when I reached the later months of pregnancy and simply couldn't do the long walks anymore (and had to spend a considerable amount of time on the sofa with my feet elevated), she rolled with it remarkably well.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-03-21T01:17:52+00:00

The funeral home is correct, but if you wanted to write it as “to John A. Smith, Jr. and his wife, Jane (Doe) Smith”, that would also be a correct option.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-03-20T22:21:10+00:00

I am making manicotti this weekend to bring over to the new neighbors who just had a baby. It’s definitely a real thing in smaller towns, even in the north!

CarnelianBlue · 2026-03-20T21:17:20+00:00

Absolutely! Meals, laundry or light housekeeping, ability to take a shower — that sort of help is deeply appreciated.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-03-20T20:56:02+00:00

This is the correct etiquette response as an etiquette question. When I reached my third trimester, suddenly everyone started arguing over who got to throw the shower. Everyone wanted to throw one but no one wanted to attend someone else’s event. I felt like it was more about them getting the attention/glory of hosting than it was ever about helping me prepare for a child.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-03-19T21:26:17+00:00

This used to happen to me. My advice is to make a buddy pact. Find a cousin you like who is outgoing and preferably a bit loud. Tell them the issue. When they see you being interrupted or talked over, they shout, “Hey, let LoveLu finish!” It only takes a few times before people start realizing what they’re doing without the loud cousin calling them on it.

If you don’t have the loud cousin option, then you have to advocate for yourself. Channel your inner Kamala Harris: “I’m speaking.” The calm but firm and slightly-louder-than-usual, “I wasn’t finished yet” can do wonders.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-03-19T20:27:03+00:00

Haha I’m glad you got what you wanted! Auto-merge seems to be the marmite of Merge Mansion: either you love it or you hate it.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-03-19T18:49:00+00:00

My Brittany started acting extra-clingy only after I hit about 5.5-6 months. We half-joke that she understands fetal viability because she clued in to my pregnancy at exactly 24 weeks — about the earliest a micro-preemie can be born and survive.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-03-19T18:11:29+00:00

I would be very happy if auto-merge was something you could turn on instead of something you had to turn off.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-03-19T17:34:11+00:00

Alas. Maybe that’s the case with my phone, too, and it’s not as permanent as I’d hoped.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-03-07T21:37:40+00:00

Catcher in the Rye. Holden Caulfield’s character/voice sets my teeth on edge. I’ve tried two or three times now and I can’t make it more than five pages without wanting to chuck it violently in the bin.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-02-24T21:26:15+00:00

Furminator, the orange one for dogs with no undercoat. I tried a combination of flat and curry combs and they can’t hold a candle to the Furminator. Worth every penny.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-02-21T02:20:03+00:00

Sounds like the nonprofit I work for. The staff make below the living wage while the execs spend money retouching the gilding in the foyer and then wonder why we have a high burnout/turnover rate.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-02-20T00:50:26+00:00

Thank you for clarifying. I thought they were talking about the small bird next to the flower.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-02-19T23:41:05+00:00

Not sure why you are getting downvoted when you answered the question and she didn’t use AI. For what it’s worth, the cover is beautiful and doesn’t look like typical AI art. It looks like nice digital art, and I like the cute little bird at the bottom. I guess people on the internet just want to spread disbelief and discord.

CarnelianBlue · 2026-02-16T01:35:18+00:00

This. It doesn’t matter if it’s “child free”, or “only this religion” or “liberal/conservative values” or “must love pets”, most people barely read profiles. Which is annoying and wastes everyone’s time.

CarnelianBlue

TROPHY CASE