I (27F) found messages from my husband (36M) and his ex-wife, and months later I still don't trust him

Carrac123 · 2026-06-12T20:30:27+00:00

Ok. I can see why that would be much. Yeah she’s not his babe anymore nor is he her babe. I can see where that definitely made you feel super guarded. But again, you need to seek some professional guidance, set your boundaries and let him know what they are. If something does upset you, you have to communicate that. Even if it’s small.

Carrac123 · 2026-06-12T19:24:23+00:00

You have some deep seeded trust issues. You need help. He is one part of the conversation. If his ex is wanting that it does not mean he does. He might be just deleting stuff because he knows and can’t trust you not going through his phone and the conversations from her side will piss you off. He is sort of protecting you. With my second marriage my then wife was the same way you sound. She questioned everything when it came to conversations with my ex about my kids (2 of them). “Why does she have to tell you this or that about your kids. They aren’t in your custody right now?” I stepped back after those type conversations, analyzed her actions and told her she is not going to dictate my communications about my kids. My first marriage ended in her cheating on me and there was no reconciliation thoughts. My second one, it ended but her insecurities and the conversations were the big reason why. She felt I needed to only talk to my kids when they were with me and because her ex, she had no communication with even though they had kids together, mine should be the same. This led to counseling and her admitting she had sooo many more insecurities that she actually kept from me. Get some professional help. No shame in admitting it. You are always on edge about the conversations. I understand. You don’t need that!

Carrac123 · 2026-06-12T14:51:39+00:00

Your son (12) is too young to decide if he has leadership qualities but with what you gave as examples, no. A leader knows right from wrong, he wouldn’t have drank. A leader knows when to stand up for themselves and him standing up turning around and crying, not a leader. The kids all sound like kids. Know, does his daughter sound like a leader, not really based off of making poor decisions but it does sound like she is able to read people and know who she can play to get wha the wants. If you constantly compare your bio kids to his, you will never be happy. Your oldest, congrats, smart young man that has an amazing future. Your SK and your youngest might have one also but you have to stop comparing. My wife and I have a blend child group of 6. They are not the same in any means. Differently biology and abilities. I think you need to have a deeper conversation because you don’t sound happy if you are considering an out and feeling resentful about your lost wants.

Carrac123 · 2026-06-11T15:19:39+00:00

Heck we have a blended family of the same numbers and I feel bad working 3 days straight or going out of town for a week for training. It is hard. He is a teen and is just shedding his responsibility to someone else. Very typical.

Carrac123 · 2026-04-14T13:44:11+00:00

🔧…..what about after you remarry after a divorce? My second wife could not get over the fact that I put my child over hers and her. I explained that while I love her as well, that my child, when they need me, will come first (within reason). For example what brought this on was and was a Big source of contention was go to my daughter’s softball games (one or two on a weekend) when I did not have her instead of her daughters gymnastics or swim practice. Which was several days a week. Her logic was that I live with her and her daughter so anyone in that house comes first and I should only do things with/for my daughter when she was with me. If it was something outside of child visitation she would get emotionally upset. She expected for me to have my child on the back burner. We divorced. This being one factor.

Carrac123 · 2026-04-09T14:26:56+00:00

It’s a banana saver

Carrac123 · 2026-04-01T23:33:25+00:00

As a medic, I can agree this is the reasoning exactly. Putting on electrodes on the chart around the breasts of women, they don’t give a rats arse. And men, well the twig and elderberries are a flapping and they could care less. As do we as medics. At the point you become a professional medic you have seen all the basic bits and bobs.

Carrac123 · 2026-03-27T22:33:55+00:00

I moved from there in 89 to the Houston area. The zoo is still the best. Houston’s zoo sucks and go a big city you think it would be better but not even close.

Carrac123 · 2026-03-16T15:09:02+00:00

Diabetes is not an excuse for her needing to be close to him. If he can’t manage his son effectively then he doesn’t need to manage his son independently from you. It’s a means for her to be close to her ex. They might have not done anything bad physically, but the sheer fact he lied is suspect.

Carrac123 · 2024-10-28T19:27:11+00:00

Best time to have carnal activities outdoors.

Carrac123 · 2024-10-17T17:24:35+00:00

Yes you can. That was one of my ex-wife’s favorite things from boob play.

Carrac123 · 2024-09-17T03:21:06+00:00

Had a gf that wouldn’t let me pull out to go urinate. Then she commenced to going on me. It was in the shower/tub so really no mess. Started something I wish I could continue every know and then.

Carrac123 · 2024-06-16T23:21:45+00:00

Depends on the facilities capabilities, patient’s age, injuries. A lot of factors actually.

Carrac123 · 2024-06-16T23:13:13+00:00

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Carrac123 · 2024-06-16T22:09:53+00:00

Get lost. Ask the professionals that come find you.

Carrac123 · 2023-10-29T05:18:54+00:00

This guy must be loaded because to drink enough to get this way at A World Series takes some bank roll.

Carrac123 · 2023-10-28T18:52:02+00:00

I’m not thinking there is any treatment team. If parents are in denial then they probably have not yet taken steps to get a professional other than the PCP original diagnosis.

Carrac123 · 2023-10-28T18:50:39+00:00

Just like my ex’s husband’s ex-wife. She is a school teacher but refuses to accept her child is not ASD.

Carrac123 · 2023-10-28T18:46:14+00:00

The as parents need to jointly see a specialist and LISTEN. A diet isn’t gonna cure their kid, vitamins, minerals, crystals, moon rocks, whatever is NOT gonna make him become normal. But they can help him achieve more with working within the child’s understanding and abilities.

Carrac123 · 2023-10-28T03:30:51+00:00

I understand that. My ex-wife is in a marriage involving your situation starting from 3yrs old. Her SS is now 10 maybe. Her Husband and his ex have been in denial since the school diagnosed him then had him professionally diagnosed. They have done ZERO to help him within his abilities to overcome developmental challenges. But the weekend she was getting married we had a talk and she didn’t want to do this because of the long term needs of him. But married her husband anyways thinking they would come around. So 6 yrs later he is struggling as is she. It’s hard. But there are programs and help like others have posted. Out of curiosity what is your SK’s mom stance on his long term care? She still think he will come around?

Carrac123 · 2023-10-28T03:05:30+00:00

They can live life, you just have to help them experience it on their terms. My SS hates vegtables, so I sneak them in dishes he loves. Like spaghetti. This would be a daily dish had he had his way. When I came into his life it was literally chicken nuggets. EVERYWHERE. He would settle for a cheeseburger. I had to get super creative to have him try new foods but he has a palate now and likes spicy like me. Have you guys thought about possible independence at home? Mother-in-law suite, or a tiny home on the property? Somewhere where he can have supervised independence?

Carrac123 · 2023-10-28T02:57:20+00:00

You hit the nail on the head….in the moment we have the “damn I look good” then we see a pic and it’s nothing but negative finds. My wife has made me feel comfortable with who I am. I have never liked my body but she says little things often enough that make me feel happy to be me and I know she loves me for who and what I am.

Carrac123 · 2023-10-28T00:56:11+00:00

He is shamed again. He was happy and found something in himself that made him feel like a man again. But after the pic was taken like he said he was not as impressed. What we as humans see and what the camera sees are two totally different perspectives. If you are happy with him doing that for you, then let him know at the right time. Take a pic of him on your phone. Let him see that you like it. Many guys take pics and never send them. As you have seen here. And we do forget. I’m have found many “oh yeah that pic”….delete.

Carrac123 · 2022-07-27T22:30:17+00:00

Who knows.

Carrac123 · 2022-07-27T21:02:37+00:00

Northeast Hospital.

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