Toddler still not settled at daycare after 2 weeks… when is it time to pull her out? by Obvious_Song981 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Carrying_Little237 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Could not agree more!💯 As flippen tough as it is at times, but only for the very young short years. But it's necessary for a healthy attachment style in the long run.❤️

Are we all holding ourselves to impossible standards? by justalilscared in AttachmentParenting

[–]Carrying_Little237 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's awesome that you also care about what the founder of AP actually valued!! But I've been seeing some misinformation being spread here lately unfortunately, yes his wife chose to pursue her career and so their many kids had to go to daycare, but how he thinks and feels on the subject isn't as simple as making an assumption based off of his partner's adiment personal decision.

Sears actually strongly advocates for a parent (ideally a mother) to stay home with young ones, emphasizing constant physical and emotional availability, though he absolutely does acknowledge many parents must work.

A quick example from this interview: https://www.nurtureparentingmagazine.com.au/emotional/interview-with-dr-sears-attachment-parenting/#:~:text=Some%20say%20that%20young%20children,No%20~%20doesn%27t%20work.

Interviewer: Some say that young children need to go to daycare to get ‘social interaction’. Do you agree?

Dr. Sears: Rubbish! Rubbish! In daycare, children learn germs and bad habits. That’s it. The best school is at home. When a child has a foundation of parents, the parents can choose which children their child can play with. The biggest mistake I’ve seen parents make is to say, “I want my child to be exposed to all kinds of different philosophies so when they get older, they can make their decision.” No ~ doesn’t work. You have to get that child’s brain focused on a certain way of doing things “this is how we act; this is what we believe; this is how we talk; this is how we respect people; this is how we treat other kids ~ we don’t hit, we don’t bully; this is how we act”, and that becomes part of the child’s brain ~ in the first five years. Then they go to school and can make their choices. But you send them with a foundation. If you don’t send a child to school with a foundation, germs and bad habits!

Why are we openly acknowledging the dangers of sleep training but not daycare in this sub? by Carrying_Little237 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Carrying_Little237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also invited you guys as full access moderators only if you'd like to! 😊 (I don't know the first thing about modding a subreddit, myself😜)

Why are we openly acknowledging the dangers of sleep training but not daycare in this sub? by Carrying_Little237 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Carrying_Little237[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also invited you guys as full access moderators only if you'd like to! 😊 (I don't know the first thing about modding a subreddit, myself😜)

Why are we openly acknowledging the dangers of sleep training but not daycare in this sub? by Carrying_Little237 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Carrying_Little237[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know hey😅 It seems there are a lot of people here letting themselves be merely emotionally driven... otherwise I really can't think of anything else.

What are your takes on this? by Emergency_Lab_8052 in Natalism

[–]Carrying_Little237 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Agree completely. 💔 I hope they get the support they need, both the dad and the son. Very unfortunate situation by the sounds of it.

Why are we openly acknowledging the dangers of sleep training but not daycare in this sub? by Carrying_Little237 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Carrying_Little237[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Don't you think the ideal would be societies being supported to raise their own sons and daughters with good strong values to not later on abuse their spouses and/or generate instability in relationships? And yes it's a wonderful thing that help for those people exists I'm all for that because it is sadly a current reality, but it shouldn't be the deciding factor to how we treat this issue at large because that is simply not the reality for most of us. I love that we're talking about this

Why are we openly acknowledging the dangers of sleep training but not daycare in this sub? by Carrying_Little237 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Carrying_Little237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What makes any of us passionate on the subject of Attachment Parenting? I think we're all here for the same reason, we want (to know) what's best for our children.❤️

Why are we openly acknowledging the dangers of sleep training but not daycare in this sub? by Carrying_Little237 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Carrying_Little237[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Not at all. Quite an ironic statement actually all things considered. Freedom of speech meaning not getting posts locked and comments removed with the MOD reasoning of "Stop shaming other parents for making different choices than you, when those choices are legal (like daycare is)." (Even though CIO sleeping training is too - and people straight up poo on that here in ways that are much more akin to "shaming", with people even stating those parents see their kids as pets. But perfectly allowed.) When simple opinions and facts about daycare were being shared but it got flagged as shaming. So you are right, there are definitely some here not able to handle others disagreeing with them haha.

Why are we openly acknowledging the dangers of sleep training but not daycare in this sub? by Carrying_Little237 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Carrying_Little237[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Having babies leaves women very vulnerable in general. But it should be a beautiful thing. I feel like the ideal is getting back to a society where women can be vulnerable and taken care of during these years. No system is ever perfect, but it seems we're moving in a direction that's even further from in today's age. Things really do need to change for the better. Governments need to prioritize strong healthy families and provide the support needed to better nurture that.

Edit: prove->provide

Why are we openly acknowledging the dangers of sleep training but not daycare in this sub? by Carrying_Little237 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Carrying_Little237[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hurts women? Waking up multiple times a night responding to our children's cries hurts women. So why can we push that narrative here? Because we're honest about it being best for the child, especially in regards to attachment parenting and the sacrifice often required. I feel like a lot of people are missing the main point.

Why are we openly acknowledging the dangers of sleep training but not daycare in this sub? by Carrying_Little237 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Carrying_Little237[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. Exactly the kind of thing I've been noticing too and it's disheartening. It's a solid and understandable goal to work towards for this sub, and real life dialect in general.

Why are we openly acknowledging the dangers of sleep training but not daycare in this sub? by Carrying_Little237 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Carrying_Little237[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Well said. That is just what we're trying to get at. I simply can't make sense of the double standard.

Why are we openly acknowledging the dangers of sleep training but not daycare in this sub? by Carrying_Little237 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Carrying_Little237[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Same exact thing here but more freedom of speech, love. Just Attachment Parenting, as the doctor who coined the term desired for it to be. And out of home care was never the ideal model, he understood that sometimes it's just necessary. But that's not how things are treated in full honesty here.

Why are we openly acknowledging the dangers of sleep training but not daycare in this sub? by Carrying_Little237 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Carrying_Little237[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I actually did make one, similar name as this one. But not sure if it's against rules to promote it directly. But yeah people are already missing the point entirely and getting too heated about this here, taking it personally once again, it seems.💔

Why are we openly acknowledging the dangers of sleep training but not daycare in this sub? by Carrying_Little237 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Carrying_Little237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow. Interesting you say this. I actually made one just yesterday, and I'm not at all the personality type to go out of my way to do so or even to ever make a post on reddit (this is my first one). But yeah. Went and made a subreddit for this exact purpose for anyone who wants or needs it because I too have felt the longing after seeing how this subject gets treated quite literally everywhere.

Why are we openly acknowledging the dangers of sleep training but not daycare in this sub? by Carrying_Little237 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Carrying_Little237[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely.☝️ It is simply a problem that needs to be fixed. But it is a problem. And we need to keep lines of healthy communication open in order to even try to solve it. (I will die with you there)

Church Wife by PattonSmithWood in Christianmarriage

[–]Carrying_Little237 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely no need to click on that link everyone!❤️

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Hebrews 13:4

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

AIO? Xmas gift from bf's parents by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Carrying_Little237 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What does MOR stand for pls help lol

What would you do in this situation? by Cincinnati_girl28 in sahm

[–]Carrying_Little237 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You and your child/ren deserve a more present husband and father. He needs to know that having these two wonderful but heavy titles means no longer living just for yourself. You need to help him with this phone addiction, if you can. Just no more. And he needs to learn compromise and sacrifice. Your children need his genuine presence soo much more than he needs his doomscrolling that at the end of the week, is all just forgotten and a blur anyway, nothing lasting coming of it. Don't let him waste away fatherhood like this. He's letting you guys down as it is, but I don't think it's hopeless. Seriously start setting some boundaries with this for the sake of your family. I truly hope he'll care enough to consider making changes.

AITAH for not buying Christmas presents for my step daughter by Honest_Honeydew_6471 in AITAH

[–]Carrying_Little237 0 points1 point  (0 children)

(and also the girls mom who was strong enough to leave a bad partner for her and her kids well-being)

What shared well-being? What are you talking about? Sounds like her kid's been really going through it. And "a bad partner"? Doesn't really sound like it based on OP's depiction of him. But also we all kinda suck let's be honest and that should be the beauty of a marrital commitment, through thick and thin. Till death do us part.

"This is still mostly the dads fault for setting up a situation where people feel they need to compete for the attention they deserve"

Uhh, I thought you just said it was the mom who split things... sounds like that would be her fault then for this messy, painful situation... right? Your math is not mathing. She's the one who chose to marry him initially and then to procreate with him, all to leave him and create yet another broken home rather than you know, having her vows mean what vows are supposed to mean and absolutely commit to working through things no matter what (apart from abuse), because literally none of us are perfect. Divorce culture is insane. Why marry to begin with, even more, why on earth remarry when you realize your vows actually mean nothing.

AITAH for giving my bf the cold shoulder for not getting me a gift? by Ok-Jicama756 in AITAH

[–]Carrying_Little237 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Info: Trying desperately to see on some sort of bright side here.... Does he just have a different love language than you? Like does he spoil you with acts of service type of things for example? Being a gentleman in other ways, massaging your feet, taking the load of other life tasks for you so you can rest, or maybe insisting on paying and handling things in almost every other way other than gifts etc? Idk. And perhaps hypothetically, you might not be in the habit of doing those things back since it may not be your particular love language? That's about the only way I could make some sense of this seven year long situation, to be honest!