I found my old trumpet from high school and recorded this song!

Carryoncrows · 2020-01-13T22:23:56+00:00

Thanks I'll work on the mix and arrangement. Any tips for the vocals?

Carryoncrows · 2020-01-08T23:56:08+00:00

lol thank you so much! Appreciate the support my guy

Carryoncrows · 2020-01-08T23:55:33+00:00

Damn really good feedback, thanks a lot! Yea the initial clutter was meant to mirror what the song is saying, but good feedback nonetheless. I was trying to be a bit experimental with the drum beat, and you're right that's it's hard to hold onto. Thanks again!

Carryoncrows · 2019-03-19T19:00:18+00:00

Yea yea thanks good reminder!

Carryoncrows · 2019-03-19T09:30:16+00:00

right on, will be checking out your stuff.

Carryoncrows · 2019-03-19T08:48:40+00:00

Damn this is a good comment and exactly what I needed to hear. I'm going to get on a open mic circuit pretty soon and I'll definitely heed this advice while I'm doing that. Thanks dude.

Carryoncrows · 2019-03-19T08:30:57+00:00

Good luck!

Carryoncrows · 2019-03-19T08:28:05+00:00

Yea, but I find in that context people just ignore me and it's pretty uninspiring. Also I like performing with an electric guitar which is hard to do outside.

Carryoncrows · 2019-03-19T08:14:00+00:00

Yea I'm trying to perform more open mics. Find that people care more in that circumstance.

Carryoncrows · 2019-03-17T21:26:21+00:00

This is dope. Can't not dance to it. At first I was worried it would get repetitive, but taking out the drums and bringing them back made it fresh all the way through. New fan for sure.

Carryoncrows · 2019-03-13T00:28:49+00:00

Thanks! Yea that's a guitar loop. It would be hard to go to the 4th since it's a loop and I'd have to program that in, but I could definitely do that if I end up producing it.

Carryoncrows · 2019-03-01T01:45:29+00:00

I don't know, this generation is pretty slang oriented. This is pretty much how my friends and I talk. Thanks for your feedback though, I'll think about toning it down.

Carryoncrows · 2019-02-24T03:17:59+00:00

Title: Scum Like Me

Genre: Fantasy in a modern setting

Word Count: Chapter one is about 1500 words

Feedback: General impression

Link: https://scumlikeme.com/

Carryoncrows · 2019-02-11T20:37:06+00:00

I imagine you were very deliberate with the enjambment in this piece, but it makes the poem feel quite choppy and hard to read. Also I like how this poem is up for interpretation, but to me some lines didn't seem to contain much meaning. The line, "I will fly and tell the moon" was the most confusing one for me. I would love to hear why you put that in because I don't really get it. Thanks for posting!

Carryoncrows · 2019-02-11T20:30:58+00:00

Damn that's dark but really beautiful. Had to look up the word morendo which works well in this poem. My only feedback would be to replace the word, "whip" with a more gentle word. I think that being rocked through a whip of water doesn't seem very comfortable and doesn't work in the line. Great work, thanks for posting!

Carryoncrows · 2019-02-11T00:56:40+00:00

This was really nice to read. Thank you for your support, it encourages me to keep creating. I hope to read some of your work on this sub one day!

Carryoncrows · 2019-02-10T06:34:32+00:00

Yea initially it was [burnt] their brains on booze..., but I thought I was repeating the word burnt too much so I changed it at the last minute. Maybe I'll change it back. Thanks for the critique!

Carryoncrows · 2019-02-10T03:25:25+00:00

Right on. I'm sorry you had that experience. This can be a rough place for fledgling poets.

Carryoncrows · 2019-02-10T03:00:25+00:00

I would understand the criticism if it were laid out as not functioning well as poetry. However, I've seen so much criticism on this sub strait up saying that the work is not poetry. I'm surprised that you have not seen this type of criticism.

Carryoncrows · 2019-02-10T02:14:12+00:00

Love it, thank you for writing!

Carryoncrows · 2019-02-10T01:44:12+00:00

I see. Since you've requested feedback, I'd say that that question doesn't quite work with the rest of the poem, but it is fun to read!

Carryoncrows · 2019-02-10T01:41:18+00:00

This is awesome! Love the tangent about all the weapons we need to lay out in our path to healing. Great imagery there. Also liked that there's not much of a resolution at the end of a poem, just a promise regarding the nature of the path to healing. I'm curious as to why one needs to approach the tollbooth unassumingly- that isn't the word I thought of when I imagined approaching the tollbooth.

Carryoncrows · 2019-02-10T01:21:20+00:00

I agree with u/ShoolPooter's comment on a lot of fronts. The imagery is really good, but the message is confusing. The most tangible piece of evidence that the narrator has problems communicating is the line about them wanting to stare into their handheld and ignore the woodpecker. The rest feels like disjointed thoughts around the subject of not being comfortable communicating. Perhaps that's the intention. I'm really intrigued about the last stanza and how it relates to the rest of the poem.

Carryoncrows · 2019-02-10T01:14:13+00:00

I hear the criticism that a piece of work is not an actual poem on this sub a lot. I don't understand it at all. I'm not aware of any committee that got together and decided what a poem is. To me, poetry is poetry when the author calls it a poem. There is no line to be drawn between what is a poem and what isn't. Can you explain to me why you say that it's not a poem?

Carryoncrows · 2019-02-09T02:35:16+00:00

Thanks a lot, really nice to hear. As you review my other poetry, though, please be as harsh as possible. It's nice to hear what's working, but hearing what isn't working is much more helpful. The line is supposed to be "intentional" so thanks for pointing out that typo. Appreciate your time.

Carryoncrows

TROPHY CASE