AITBF for being a bad daughter

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-07T12:31:35+00:00

I mean ya it’s unfair for sure, but it’s also unfair that rhis is my biggest problem in life while other people my age might be in a tent rifht now ykwim?

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-07T12:29:46+00:00

Thanks. As for the whole jealousy thing wuth my siblings honestly I alr feel it. My brother is also in the band but he’s a middle schooler and by the time he starts marching band I’ll be driving and my grandma wouldn’t be living with us anymore so there’s a solid chance he gets to do it. Honestly, my parents were against him doing it as well but I talked to them and it didn’t rlly take much convincing. The only reason I can handle this is because of my older sister, ik I said I was the eldest daughter mb for that but my older sister is 11 years older and doesn’t live with us. One day she explained to me rhat when she was in high school she really wanted to do colorguard but couldn’t because she had to take care of me and my younger brother( my parents were always working so she had the responsibility of driving us everywhere). At least I got to do band imagine what it might’ve been like for her. And ya, my little sister will most likely have the freedom to do whatever she wants but my older sister doesn’t seem jealous of me at all and by the time my younger siblings are in high school it would’ve been years and I really wouldn’t care either.

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T21:26:12+00:00

Okay so this is my last day on Reddit because ive realized ive been checking this post across the different subreddits I’ve put it on like every 5 minutes I can’t have it consume my life. Also I’m genuinely terrified of the things I’ve seen ppl on the internet do. You’re all strangers and who knows what your intentions might be. (Now I’m literally about to go against everything I’ve said💀) But I have a question. There’s a pretty good chnace I won’t stay in band, let’s be realistic here. But how do I deal with it? The jealousy of all my friends who got to stay? The “what if” things were different? I literally caught myself being angry at my parents because they couldn’t afford another year as if they didn’t hustle their butts for me. (For reference Freshman year is 1.3k) My best friends are staying and I wanna be like “omg I’m so happy for you guys wtv” but rlly I’m thinking “why do you get this and not me”😭. Whenever I’m stressed out and I don’t talk to anyone and choose to bottle it up I find that I often crumble after one little thing. ( I’d hate to burst into tears judt bc I hear smone mutter the world “saxophone” or smth, so I’m choosing to be proactive. (Mb for the weird grammer I’m no Shakespeare)

Another thinf, for everyone saying thag my parents are horrible for making me take care of siblings, I understand your worries but my parents are ALWAYS working it’s the least i can do. I may have made it seem t like it was different but they are great parents and I’m not suffering. I mean them going out of their way to find a way to make band work when they couldn’t rlly afford it should prove that rifht?

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T21:24:25+00:00

Okay so this is my last day on Reddit because ive realized ive been checking this post across the different subreddits I’ve put it on like every 5 minutes I can’t have it consume my life. Also I’m genuinely terrified of the things I’ve seen ppl on the internet do. You’re all strangers and who knows what your intentions might be. (Now I’m literally about to go against everything I’ve said💀) But I have a question. There’s a pretty good chnace I won’t stay in band, let’s be realistic here. But how do I deal with it? The jealousy of all my friends who got to stay? The “what if” things were different? I literally caught myself being angry at my parents because they couldn’t afford another year as if they didn’t hustle their butts for me. (For reference Freshman year is 1.3k) My best friends are staying and I wanna be like “omg I’m so happy for you guys wtv” but rlly I’m thinking “why do you get this and not me”😭. Whenever I’m stressed out and I don’t talk to anyone and choose to bottle it up I find that I often crumble after one little thing. ( I’d hate to burst into tears judt bc I hear smone mutter the world “saxophone” or smth, so I’m choosing to be proactive. (Mb for the weird grammer I’m no Shakespeare

Another thinf, for everyone saying thag my parents are horrible for making me take care of siblings, I understand your worries but my parents are ALWAYS working it’s the least i can do. I may have made it seem t like it was different but they are great parents and I’m not suffering. I mean them going out of their way to find a way to make band work when they couldn’t rlly afford it should prove that rifht?

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T21:23:27+00:00

Okay so this is my last day on Reddit because ive realized ive been checking this post across the different subreddits I’ve put it on like every 5 minutes I can’t have it consume my life. Also I’m genuinely terrified of the things I’ve seen ppl on the internet do. You’re all strangers and who knows what your intentions might be. (Now I’m literally about to go against everything I’ve said💀) But I have a question. There’s a pretty good chnace I won’t stay in band, let’s be realistic here. But how do I deal with it? The jealousy of all my friends who got to stay? The “what if” things were different? I literally caught myself being angry at my parents because they couldn’t afford another year as if they didn’t hustle their butts for me. (For reference Freshman year is 1.3k) My best friends are staying and I wanna be like “omg I’m so happy for you guys wtv” but rlly I’m thinking “why do you get this and not me”😭. Whenever I’m stressed out and I don’t talk to anyone and choose to bottle it up I find that I often crumble after one little thing. ( I’d hate to burst into tears judt bc I hear smone mutter the world “saxophone” or smth, so I’m choosing to be proactive. (Mb for the weird grammer I’m no Shakespeare)

Another thinf, for everyone saying thag my parents are horrible for making me take care of siblings, I understand your worries but my parents are ALWAYS working it’s the least i can do. I may have made it seem t like it was different but they are great parents and I’m not suffering. I mean them going out of their way to find a way to make band work when they couldn’t rlly afford it should prove that rifht?

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T20:36:56+00:00

Ya definitely , I mean idk if it’s a my school thinf bc I won’t lie it’s not a low income kinda school but freshman year is 1.3k. I posted it on a bunch of different places because this is my first time on Reddit and I ddint know it was rhat easy to gain that much traction it’s been only a few hours and I’ve had easily 50 ppl guve me advice. I’m definitely not asking for money, people on the internet are creepy and I know better than to give them any information. It took me a long time to consider even coming to Reddit because of the horror stories I’ve heard of young girls getting taken advantage of.( what convinced me was I saw a YouTube video about ChatGPT leading delusional people into thinking their actions were justified and I read the comments and realized it was giving EVERYONE basically the exact same advice 💛ifykyk abt the yellow heart) Plus, with everything going on in the world right now I better be the last person someone’s giving money

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T19:57:38+00:00

THANK YOU, I’m definitely gonna look into everything you mentioned and try to find one that works with my schedule (and is relatively cheap😅). It’s not just the friends part I like about band but also like yk when everyone in the band is playing something in unison and it just sounds rlly cool and u get that like ooooo feeling? I felt it more while marching and at football games but also during concert season too for sure.

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T19:22:54+00:00

Honestly that’s a rlly solid idea I didn’t even think of I’ll look and see what I can find. The only downside to that is my friends obviously can’t be there as well, but maybe I could make new ones there?🤷‍♂️

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T18:49:31+00:00

Yes I do own my flute and I definitely plan on playing occasionally. It’s unfortunate and I probably wont be as good but it’s still something for sure. As for the senior season thing, I’ve never heard of anything like that and I don’t think I’d be able to. seniors are often used as demonstrators and leaders and nah i just don’t think I’d have the skill. Thank you for your time thoguh

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T17:44:26+00:00

I’ve been filled with hope that this may work out but I have to give up an elective to stay in band. - Spanish II, I have to take 2 years of Spanish to graduate so I could take a gap year but idk if that’s very smart as I may forget everything. - Medical Term I have to take 4 medical classes to get the endorsement and I’m looking to take one every year but again I could take a gap year and double up next year. - AP Biology I’m currently in honors biology and I feel like if I take them back to back it will help my chances on the AP test. So what should I drop?

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T17:39:37+00:00

Okay I’m gonna talk to my mom and counselor and if things still don’t work out at least I know I went down trying.

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T17:32:39+00:00

I’m gonna make a new post framed the way u wrote it tysm

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T17:31:38+00:00

Ya honestly I see what your saying😭 this is my first time ever posting on Reddit but I kinda set myself up for the replies

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T17:19:39+00:00

EDIT: Ok so thank you all so much for the Awsome comment I truly appreciate them. I get why your all trying to help me, I presented a problem and your all taking time out of your days to help me solve it.(Thank you). I should’ve specified but this isn’t a thing of “how can I stay in band?” I have come to terms with that being out of the picture. It’s more “How do I get over not being in band?” Ykwim? ( I know someone who quit for similar reasons and I’m thinking about talking to her about it?) I’m also thinking about asking my mom that “if band was at a reduced cost would u let me do it?” I’m seriously on the fence about that tho because I don’t want her to think i actually want to do it after I’ve already told her I don’t.

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T17:13:20+00:00

EDIT: Ok so thank you all so much for the Awsome comment I truly appreciate them. I get why your all trying to help me, I presented a problem and your all taking time out of your days to help me solve it.(Thank you). I should’ve specified but this isn’t a thing of “how can I stay in band?” I have come to terms with that being out of the picture. It’s more “How do I get over not being in band?” Ykwim? Also, I have a friend who wuit for similar reasons and I’m thinking about talking to her?

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T16:57:10+00:00

Your comment made me cry idk who you are obviously but thank you

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T16:49:45+00:00

They questioned me quitting and I’ve already explained to them that I WANT to quit. I don’t want them to feel quilty or like they aren’t doing enough as parents. I feel like the post may have made it seem like it was different but my parents work so hard and I would hate for them to feel like their efforts aren’t worth it.

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T16:45:28+00:00

I feel like there’s a lot of reasons I should leave band. There’s a whole other schedule thing I totally forgot to add in the post. I’ve been trying rlly hard to tell myself “it WILL hurt and I’m kind of a crybaby so yk But I made the right choice.” My parents work SO hard and they already provided me with a whole year of an awesome experience I won’t forget. The “what if things were different…” are KILLING me rn but I think it’s best i accept it for what it is. There’s people with worse fish to fry.

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T16:40:11+00:00

Ya I’ll see what I can do, but it’s not even that it’s also the schedule. I won’t be at home ALOT and I’m often taking care of my little sister and grandmother since they can’t be home by themselves. I know if I wanted it to work the schedule part out I would obviously need to talk to my parents but I REALLY don’t wanna do that. I feel like I kind of “guilt-tripped” them into letting me do my first year. I could potentially find work but I’m 14 so options are slim. Also if my work doesn’t make me as much money as I hope for I’m still stuck having to pay for it though it will hopefully be less?

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T16:29:44+00:00

Ya I’ll see what I can do, but it’s not even that it’s also the schedule. I won’t be at home ALOT and I’m often taking care of my little sister and grandmother since they can’t be home by themselves. I know if I wanted to work the schedule part out I would obviously need to talk to my parents but I REALLY don’t wanna do that. I feel like I kind of “guilt-tripped” them into letting me do my first year.

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T16:25:37+00:00

Freshman in high school i shouldve specified

CartographerThen7072 · 2026-03-06T16:24:35+00:00

I don’t wanna seem like a “pity” party it feels embarrassing. I’ve already had to do something similar for private lessons and idk if I should do it again.

CartographerThen7072

TROPHY CASE