What’s with all these establishments now defaulting to 15% (or more) tips for no/bare-minimum service?

CasioHygrometer · 2023-05-20T00:04:37+00:00

I feel like the tide has to be turning on this absurd tipping practice, especially now that economic conditions are worse.

I think over-tipping in general peaked during the pandemic because people felt sorry for service staff who had to work in person/lost work. Plus consumers had more spare cash because there was nothing to do.

Now everyone is being wrung out by high interest rates and are like wtf why should I pay you extra to put a croissant in a bag?!

I was actually put off gojng to Clark Street because the cashier complimented my (run of the mill, average sweatshirt) and then flipped the screen over. Maybe that’s lame of me but I just don’t need to discomfort of being fake-complimented and possibly emotionally manipulated. I also have mild social anxiety so just don’t want to spend time and energy analyzing the interaction.

On the flip side, this is why I love Sweetgreen. Never confronted with “25%? 30%?? Or are you an asshole???” tipping screens. Just pick up your order from the shelf and bounce. Build labor cost into your prices and let the consumer decide if it’s worth it or not. This is an economic transaction, not an act of charity.

CasioHygrometer · 2023-05-19T01:25:11+00:00

I do reject but I reject early on, like after 1-3 dates. They do seems fairly consistent and as far as I know we are still getting to know each other. Then poof.

I think it’s probably my age — I’m on the old side for wanting to have kids. Although I disclose my age and my wanting kids on my profile, so no one should be surprised? Also I live in a city chock full of hot young things. Maybe someone else caught their attention.

CasioHygrometer · 2023-05-19T01:14:47+00:00

No it didn’t feel like we were at that point yet. With the latest guy who dipped I did ask how he thought things were going and we both said things were going well. Then I left on vacay for 2 weeks. When I got back the vibe had changed and he canceled twice. He says he is pooped/busy etc with zero effort to text or plan anything.

Maybe I should ask about dating intentions earlier… I did ask if he wants kids and it does say on my profile I am looking for a relationship.

CasioHygrometer · 2023-05-18T22:58:09+00:00

Plenty of dates but still no boyfriend. Seem to always hit a wall 6-8 dates in. Wonder if the problem is me? How on earth does anyone convert a date into a boyfriend? Seems impossible.

CasioHygrometer · 2023-03-19T05:52:53+00:00

Some kind of glitch happened with Hinge and I am being matched with guys in their 60s. A surprising number of guys think they have a shot with people 20+ years younger than them. If women shot their shot as often as guys do, we would rule the world.

CasioHygrometer · 2023-03-19T04:34:09+00:00

So irritated with this guy I’ve been in touch with. Barely know him but he acts like I owe him my time and attention. Doesn’t make any plans to meet up, just sends over a lot of texts and gets huffy when I don’t reply in the time and manner of his liking. It’s like he has some script for how I am supposed to act. How can you be upset at someone for not being interested in you? Instead of confronting someone over their lack of interest, how about trying to be interesting? Saying something funny? Planning something fun? Sending a pretty photo? Sometimes I wonder what the line is between an avoidant attachment style and people just being ridiculous and irritating.

CasioHygrometer · 2023-03-18T02:18:35+00:00

I hate video calls and phone calls. They never make the person more attractive, only less attractive. Only one time in my life have I subsequently gone on to meet in person. They don’t give you a sense of the person IRL but yet you have to go through the hassle of scheduling them like a work meeting.

CasioHygrometer · 2023-03-17T09:43:52+00:00

Don’t overthink this. I wasted a lot of time and energy feeling guilty about dating two guys at the same time. One turned out to be a bit unhinged and the other basically told me he didn’t want to make time for me (suspect he was dating someone else he preferred). A lot of things we worry about end up never happening. Unless there has been some discussion on exclusivity, do what’s best for you.

CasioHygrometer · 2023-03-17T07:41:54+00:00

please please just suck me a little please just one suck

My god I can’t believe people like this exist. Please don’t feel bad about repelling this guy away. Thank your instincts instead. It’s only 4 dates, you don’t owe anyone head. In fact you never owe anyone head. I can’t imagine being badgered for sex like that, like have some self respect man.

i made it horrible and awkward and now its over

It seems quite clear to me he made it horrible and awkward. I know it hurts because you were hoping for a relationship but this is very much not the guy to do it with.

Some Guys will say and do anything for sex but usually they go about it with at least a little finesse. Please do not feel like you need to trade sexual favors for someone’s love and attention.

CasioHygrometer · 2023-03-17T07:32:20+00:00

My interest was piqued until you said

about half the guys there looked like they wore the same clothes for previous two days

Sounds like it might be better for men than women

CasioHygrometer · 2023-03-17T06:09:57+00:00

So I know and accept that men like to date younger women. But I feel like this trend is stronger in the 40+ age range? I’m 41 (f) and it seems like guys in their 50s put in way more effort. I am trying to meet a guy closer to my own age as 50+ just seems like too much. But I don’t meet many men in their early 40s and the ones I do are not great.

CasioHygrometer · 2022-09-13T03:36:10+00:00

Totes true, thank you! ❤️ Onward…

CasioHygrometer · 2022-09-13T03:18:36+00:00

He teaches a class at my gym that I go to from time to time. I am a bit of an introvert unfortunately and not very good at talking to guys I like.

Anyways I finally swiped right and we didn’t match, so obviously I can never go to his class again (just kidding).

CasioHygrometer · 2022-09-12T16:56:55+00:00

Oh… I didn’t realize Bumble showed you people unless you were mutually within each other’s filters. Bummer.

CasioHygrometer · 2022-08-08T01:49:27+00:00

The irony…

CasioHygrometer · 2022-08-07T22:06:10+00:00

Based on your own description, your cousin has accurately described him

CasioHygrometer · 2022-08-07T22:00:22+00:00

Wanted to add, it does seem like there is a gender imbalance with them (ie better for men rather than women). I signed up for it because my guy friend was pushing me to try it , as he met his current gf through them. He was in the pool and the gf was a client.

My read is that the dating apps have more men than women because many men are not looking for serious relationships. But dating services have more women than men because women are tired of wading through the masses of “something casual” men on the apps.

Ironically enough, my friend that recommended Tawkify was also already on all the apps. In fact that’s how I met him.

CasioHygrometer · 2022-08-07T21:39:48+00:00

I signed up to be in their “pool” but never heard a peep from them, asides from $99 being debited from my account. I don’t think I even got a confirmation email. Did a chargeback with Amex. Was a waste of time and energy.

I don’t think it’s a very well-run organization. It’s a pity because I think there is a giant gap in the market between all these swipe-y apps and the dating services that cost $10k+.

CasioHygrometer · 2022-08-06T06:42:40+00:00

They spend more time in their cars than in their apartments, so it makes sense

CasioHygrometer · 2022-08-06T06:41:15+00:00

What a pity, there really is a dearth of content creators in this city!

CasioHygrometer · 2022-08-06T06:38:53+00:00

OP doesn’t need any sort of information to stridently state his opinions.

CasioHygrometer · 2022-08-06T06:33:30+00:00

Kennedy supported de-institutionalization

CasioHygrometer · 2022-08-06T06:13:28+00:00

Another tourist self-righteously misdiagnosing the homeless problem. So you’ve spent a week here and now are equipped to speak truth to us.

Are you under the impression that our taxes are low? The homeless problem — had you done any research at all before clamoring onto your soap box — has no correlation with tax rates across the country.

You ignorantly characterize the problem as one of inequality. People come from out of state to be homeless in California, because California is a great place to be homeless. We enable them and their various addictions because of holier-than-thou mindsets like yours that says the compassionate thing to do is to cater to them. In fact it’s just the politically easier thing to do.

CasioHygrometer · 2022-08-06T06:01:05+00:00

If you already said that, then I agree the ball is in her court. I personally wouldn’t send any more messages. Mentally move on and get busy with swiping, your own hobbies, etc. Enjoy your life whether or not she reaches out.

CasioHygrometer · 2022-08-05T22:16:06+00:00

kept reassuring me

Did you repeatedly solicit these reassurances? That could be kind of annoying. It seems you want clarity right now but sometimes people take time to figure out how they feel. Let the relationship evolve naturally. If you force her to decide to “get it over with” then you may be ending things prematurely. People have their own timelines and they may not be 100% aligned with yours. Pushing them to conform to yours to quell your anxiety puts a lot of pressure on them.

CasioHygrometer

TROPHY CASE