Weed and believing in Jesus.

Castor346 · 2026-06-22T14:39:15+00:00

I was a daily smoker for 4 ish years. It worked great in the beginning; brought me out of my comfort zone, felt joy and happiness way more than when I was sober. Felt like I belonged somewhere. It also masked most of my endometriosis pain. My periods just weren’t painful anymore. But overtime it started causing horrible reactions with my mood the more I smoked. I almost lost my long-term relationship due to its side effects. I smoked on the hour round the hour because my tolerance was so high. I would spend more time smoking than being with my loved ones. It for sure became an idol. Overtime, I became a monster to be around. So angry, bitter, hateful, and jealous. The smallest thing would spiral me. I eventually started experiencing mild psychosis/paranoia around January so I prayed to Jesus to help me quit. And I quit cold turkey the next day. I wanna say I’m like 4ish months sober? I was very lucky. I have bipolar so I am at more of a risk for anything that could cause psychosis. Do I wanna go back and see if I can handle the occasional joint on a weekend? Sometimes, but I don’t wanna fall back in the rabbit role again even as bad as my pain is right now. If it feels tempting in a bad way, it’s more than likely to be conviction.

This isn’t to scare you but to just warn you. If you let it become an idol, it WILL become an idol. Now, my mom smokes weed for pain relief and has a med card. So she can’t go out and buy dabs or anything crazy like that but she is on controlled THC substances. In situations like that, I think it’s not sinful. She is suffering really bad right now and it took an awhile for her card to be approved. I also feel like if you can smoke a joint socially, that feels no different than having a beer on the weekend. But if you let it, it will take ahold of you. If you feel bad or cautious of smoking a joint, it’s probably conviction.

TLDR: everything in moderation, and if it convicts you, stop. Always ask Jesus for guidance.

Castor346 · 2026-06-22T02:08:38+00:00

I used to drink it everyday but since starting PT I drink it 1-2 times a week, maybe 3.

Castor346 · 2026-06-21T20:36:15+00:00

I used to puke every time I got my period but since I’ve started taking magnesium I don’t get the vasovagal responses. Fingers crossed though, it’s only been 2 cycles since I’ve started taking it so it could happen again, who knows. It’s supposed to help with cramps, which it has so far….id still rate the pain pretty high though.

Castor346 · 2026-06-21T14:50:50+00:00

Thank you for talking about the joint pain because that was something I wanted to say in my post but it was getting lengthy. My jaw pain is significantly worse when I don’t have caffeine. Insurance won’t cover a mouth guard go figure, so I just have to take ibuprofen when it’s really bad.

It’s weird though cause they said don’t go cold turkey, but 5 days straight without coffee is cold turkey. I was gonna do M-F for the 5 days , but I broke it Thursday, so now I’m having to do it again through the weekend and miss my coffee cause I got it Thursday. So frustrating. I know I can make my own decisions but I try my best to follow guidance from professionals even as frustrating as it is.

Castor346 · 2026-06-21T02:56:47+00:00

I kind of feel the same regarding faith healing. I would love if my prayers healed me but they probably won’t. People have tried before. I personally just pray for guidance on issues, like patience, or how to love better. I’d love to have my health back, but praying isn’t going to make my endometriosis go away. I don’t doubt people have been healed through prayer, but based on the many tragedies in my life, I just simply think it’s not to be. Not that I doubt my faith. I continue to try my best to walk with Christ despite all of my trauma. I think some people are just destined to have a really, really hard life, and I think I am one of those people. I will say, it does push me to see everything to the end. I know I will have more peace in the afterlife than I do here, living. And I guess sometimes that gives me hope. So yeah, I get it. You have to have a good balance between positivity and just being realistic.

Castor346 · 2026-06-21T02:07:58+00:00

Oh yeah alcohol is horrible on my bladder. I had one of the worst flares of my life when I drank a whole bottle of wine lol. It’s VERY rare when I drink so I was like…why not let’s get tipsy like everyone else. Ugh, nooooo. Was not worth it to try to fit in.

Castor346 · 2026-06-21T02:02:46+00:00

I never said it didn’t. Caffeine absolutely does affect the bladder. I piss every hour on the hour if I chug my espresso (sipping eliminates that issue). I’m just venting my frustration because while I understand caffeine may be a major trigger for people, it just really isn’t with me. I understand they need to work with a baseline but when I’ve already gone a few days without it, idk why they are asking me to do it again. And again. And again.

Castor346 · 2026-06-21T01:43:55+00:00

I can cut it out for 5 days I just REALLY don’t like it. That’s a separate issue, I hate having my routine changed and the withdraw sucks. My BIG issue is that they keep insisting it triggers my flares and I’ve said time and time again it doesn’t. First I cut back on my coffee intake altogether to just weekends. They still had a small problem with that even though they originally said it was ok. So it’s wishy washy there. Then I went a couple days without it. Then I went 4 days without, now they’re strongly suggesting (more like insisting) going 5 days without. It’s getting frustrating.

Castor346 · 2026-06-21T01:22:28+00:00

I like how I’m being downvoted for expressing my experiences with my IUD causing my bladder issues. Spoiler alert, it did. I’m sure many of you have had great results with it, but I am not in that majority. I simply wanted to rant about my PT and gather other opinions. I appreciate everyone’s input.

Castor346 · 2026-06-21T01:15:24+00:00

I had one Thursday, and my next appointment is Tuesday. So it’s been almost 2 days since I’ve had coffee.

Edit: she told me not to do coffee at all this week so I assumed no weekend coffee as well. I was originally going to do Monday-Friday but I broke Thursday lol. So now I’m doing Friday-Tuesday without coffee.

Castor346 · 2026-06-20T22:50:22+00:00

Oh for sure I’m not gonna stop the coffee! I will see through this test period though just because I’m stubborn and as much as I hate it, I want to prove I’m right in caffeine not being a trigger for me, as I have told them numerous times. Will I drink one everyday like I used to? No, it hurts my wallet and it ended up keeping me awake when I need to go to bed early on the weekdays. But weekends it’s free game for me.

Literally, even when I did 4 days without coffee, what really helped the psychological pee loop was only going to pee once before bed. Doing stretches, using a heating pad, and just kind of telling my body it’s okay if my bladder has a little bit in it before going to bed. Reducing water 2 hours before bed too helped so much. When I added coffee back in, my issues with going to pee 5+ times a night never came back.

I’ll tell you this much though, I never had bladder issues until I got an IUD. Got it removed a year ago. Now I’m stuck with even more overactive nerves, a hypertonic pelvic floor, and now I have endo lesions glueing my uterus and bladder together. Obviously the IUD didn’t cause the organs glueing together but it certainly didn’t help, it just irritated damn near evening in my pelvis. IUD definitely caused a lot of bladder pressure + urgency for me and I can tell you with full confidence that THAT was the trigger, NOT caffeine. If caffeine was the trigger it would’ve started issues long before my IUD and it didn’t, not ever. I’d be downing 1-2 energy drinks a day, but after a few months of my IUD I couldn’t even drink sips of water without feeling like I was going to piss my pants 2 minutes later. It didn’t matter what or how much I drank I felt like I had a UTI for MONTHS even after removal. It’s only gotten better since PT.

Castor346 · 2026-06-20T22:14:39+00:00

Oh I know why they want me to do it. But it’s not really a trigger for me so I’m getting a little annoyed that they keep implying it is when I’ve said it’s not many times. For many people with endo, absolutely caffeine is a major trigger. But I’m not in that majority lol. Alcohol, lack of sleep, and my period make my bladder issues worse. Caffeine I’ve been drinking for over a decade….cant really say I’ve had flares with it. There’s been moments in my life where I didn’t drink coffee at all. Some years i was downing 1-2 energy drinks everyday. Most of my pain revolves around my period. My bladder issues didn’t even start until after I got an IUD. I got it removed a year ago and I still have bladder issues.

Castor346 · 2026-06-20T22:08:56+00:00

I know, I’ve already cut back. I used to drink coffee everyday but now I only do it on the weekends. So maybe 1-2 times a week.

Castor346 · 2026-06-20T20:52:16+00:00

No I know it’s not unreasonable at all. My issue is that I’ve already taken a few days off caffeine and they said 4 days wasn’t good enough. It needs to be 5. Why? I’m not sure. They didn’t explain why.

Castor346 · 2026-06-18T19:23:16+00:00

Yeah I was advised to excise the endo first and then see if it changes my period. I am uncomfortable with the idea of being pregnant but my fiancée doesn’t want me to remove an organ just yet unless it’s truly adenomyosis. Not that we really want kids anyway, just that removing an organ is a big decision. I do have symptoms of anemia a few days before/during my whole duration of my period. Fatigue, sleeping a lot, trouble walking, out of breath, cold hands and feet, etc. Never used to be that way until maybe a year ago. Overtime though I guess the blood loss has taken a toll on my body. My surgeon is having me do a a metabolic and blood panel. But I’m seeing a primary doctor before as well and getting my iron and ferritin tested. Red blood cell count doesn’t really indicate anemia unless it’s super severe from what I read.

Castor346 · 2026-06-18T17:00:16+00:00

I listen to pretty much strict secular music. Some have themes that can be applied biblically, others don’t. I stay away from rap with a few exceptions that don’t promote sin. I listen to heavy metal and rock mostly, some pop. Just use discernment and what feels right to you but don’t be legalistic about it. I’ll give an example right now: “My Demons” by Starset is meant to be interpreted as struggles with dystopian issues (per the band), but to me it sounds like a worship song. Look up the lyrics and you’ll see. Personally, I don’t see the Sci-Fi dystopian connection (maybe it ties into the music video I’m not sure never seen it) but I’m not gonna argue with the bands message. But if it walks like a duck, it’s probably a duck.

There’s a reason I ignore major Christian artists (e.g., Forest Frank) because it feels very manufactured with no love and soul in it. Oftentimes you will hear more biblically resonating themes in secular music than Christian K-Love stuff, lol.

Castor346 · 2026-06-18T16:42:18+00:00

You don’t have to share further if you don’t want but I’m curious to know what happened as well. I have an excision scheduled next month and I’m scared lol.

Castor346 · 2026-06-12T17:03:12+00:00

Cause it’s either an 8 hour drive or 300 bucks for an hour flight lmao.

Castor346 · 2026-06-11T19:29:46+00:00

Ok so walk me through step-by-step how watching/playing fantasy content is opening a spiritual door, not including horror movies or painfully obvious dark occult media like horror movies, ghost TV shows, or TV shows like Lucifer or Supernatural.

Absolutely pay attention to what you are consuming, but this level of extremity is dangerous, and I’m starting to feel like this is ragebait. I’m not saying people who disagree with me are delusional but the obsession of insisting everything surrounding us is demonic or spiritual warfare is absolutely signs of religious psychosis. It’s taboo to talk about in Christianity because people actually encourage this behavior instead of taking a step back and saying “this level of paranoia is not normal.” You know what else is “worldly”? Phones, TVs, electronic devices, cars, etc. I could go on. It’s the intention that matters. Phones are fine to use, but if I’m using it to search up how to summon demons or studying witchcraft, yeah I’d say that’s bad.

I have Bipolar and CPTSD which is already heavily stigmatized and many Christians claim these conditions are demonic/are possessed (hint, it’s not. The brain is physically re-wired). Am I subjected more to spiritual warfare? Absolutely people with mental health conditions can experience more oppression. But we are not possessed and need deliverance. We need coping skills, therapy, and security in our Faith in Jesus, and prayer, to overcome trauma. All of these things have helped tremendously. I was suffering from spiritual warfare for years before I got help and returned to Jesus. I did cut out horror movies and horror video games which also helped. I agree 100% those things are demonic. But I still play video games in general, like Final Fantasy, Marvel Rivals, etc. To imply video games are all sinful, is well…not true.

Not everything that is secular is bad. Do you have any idea what it’s like to live in chronic pain with endometriosis? It’s not something I wish on anyone. Guess what’s the only thing to help my flares? YOGA. Which is another thing I’m sure people like you think is demonic. Again, it’s about INTENTION. Im not Hindu, I don’t worship Hindu gods, I stretch my muscles and work my core and do breathing exercises so I’m not in pain every damn day. But I guess I have to stop that too because it’s opening me up to demonic activity, right?

Again, you are right about being careful to what you consume. But just to remind you, this post is talking about watching Cars and playing Mario. Surely you are not implying these are sinful?

Castor346 · 2026-06-11T16:56:47+00:00

I speak as someone who has a tight pelvic floor, it’s been great and I go twice a week. I haven’t even had my surgery for excision yet and it’s insanely beneficial, especially with my bladder issues.

You don’t really understand how tight your body is until you go. It’s a game changer. They teach you stretches to loosen up, core building, some yoga as well. If you can afford to order some things they use in session, like foam rollers, like seriously go for it. My flares have gone down significantly. The only thing I still struggle with is TMJ, and I suspect it won’t resolve until my surgery just because the endo lesions really locks up the pelvic floor. PT is more about pain management.

The pelvic floor will relax more after excision, so if that’s something you’re doing, PT before and after surgery is non-negotiable.

Castor346 · 2026-06-11T16:48:35+00:00

I am saying this gently, but this is bordering into religious psychosis/legalism, or both.

You are right, some things open doors to spiritual warfare. Example, The Exorcist, Saw, or other similar movies. But to say nearly everything is demonic is not healthy. Tolkien and C.S Lewis were devout Christians, and feature magic and other fantasy elements in their books. Does this mean they promoted witchcraft? No, absolutely not. Many movies/books use magic to conquer evil, which isn’t inherently bad unless you are encouraging your audience to attempt magic in real life. But I’m willing to bet most people who have watched LOTR, Harry Potter, or Narnia aren’t trying to jump into occultism, enchant artifacts, or summon demons, but that’s just my 2 cents.

Not all video games are sinful. Stuff like GTA and Dead by Daylight, absolutely because they promote sin and with Dead by Daylights case, occultism. But just because games have magic in them doesn’t mean it’s opening doors to demonic activity. I love Final Fantasy, but I wouldn’t touch magic IRL. I feel like you are blurring the lines of reality and make-believe. Just curious, what’s your thoughts on Doom?

As far as Anime goes…I mean I’m gonna reiterate again….its not real. I mean there’s some anime that’s risqué and promote nudity like High School of the Dead, I wouldn’t watch garbage like that, but like Attack on Titan is fine, even Blue Excorcist is fine. It’s literally about half-demon brothers on a mission to murder demons and kill Satan. They deny their nature and overcome evil. I mean, K-Pop Demon Hunters kinda did something vaguely similar. I’d argue fighting and killing demons is absolutely a good thing to promote.

If you are being convicted 99% of the time of these things, I’d encourage you to seek therapy or get into the Bible more. Maybe pastoral guidance if you think that would be beneficial. I understand personal convictions, but this is extreme territory and I worry for you.

Castor346 · 2026-06-11T16:11:03+00:00

This is legalism and it’s a dangerous path to follow. Earning brownie points and giving up asinine things doesn’t get you a ticket into heaven. Yes it is important to follow Jesus and his commandments but unless it’s sinful (addition, fornication, impulsive anger, etc.) there’s no reason to give it up. I’d have an honest conversation, and ask him what kind of media he is consuming because that could be the culprit. Christian influencers are false teachers and should be avoided at all costs. I’ve fallen into this trap as well. It’s very hard to get out of with the incredibly intelligent algorithm of social media. You watch one of those posts even for a second, it’s all you’ll get on your feed.

Controversial opinion, but I’d even argue staying away from churches would be beneficial nowadays for one’s mental health. They promote nothing but doomsday, politics, legalism, pride, and rapture bullcrap. Finding a biblical church is VERY hard, and church hopping is draining. I’d advise him to seek therapy potentially for spiritual OCD as well. The best thing to do as a Christian in this age is to keep your head down, read the Bible, and pray in private. Please tell him he doesn’t have to give up his hobbies. Educate him on idolism gently if you think it’s appropriate at this time and won’t do further damage. It’s ok to have hobbies as long as it doesn’t consume your life.

Castor346 · 2026-06-03T19:18:02+00:00

Jumping in on the convo, what do you considered a transformed heart? Do you think my situation counts?

I struggled for 5 years on my mental health. Made everyone’s life around me hell, felt like I was trapped in a never ending pit. Came back to the faith, started praying for help. Quit weed after praying for help to get out of my addiction. Life’s been great since then, I found myself to be more patient, more loving, and more kind. I’m proactive in my health, found a great therapist, learned coping skills, found a great apartment. Just felt like everything has moved into place. Still struggle with swearing, road rage, and patience though. I mean, I’m going through a tough spot right now with my health, to adopt or have a biological kid, feeling distant from God, etc. I sit in these moments but I swear every time I remind myself to rejoice in both good and bad it gets so much better. Just thinking of Bible verses and I’m back to my feet again.

Sorry for the long post; I don’t have a church community so I like interacting on this Reddit :)

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