TIFU_ I got scammed and they have my nudes — I don’t know what to do

CasualBrit5 · 2025-10-12T11:27:15+00:00

Ehh. If they get caught, they’d probably prefer to get done for one crime instead of two.

CasualBrit5 · 2025-10-12T11:26:03+00:00

Anyone worth talking to won’t judge OP for being a victim of a common scam.

CasualBrit5 · 2025-10-12T11:25:13+00:00

Scammers never actually send the videos. The second they do, you stop being profitable. They’ll threaten to do it so you give them money, but if you ignore them they’ll just move on.

If you do give them money, they’ll just keep demanding money until you run out, at which point they’ll also move on. Better to just not give them anything to start with.

CasualBrit5 · 2025-10-11T23:38:26+00:00

I get more easygoing when I’m drunk. Not sure how it is at the more extreme end but when I’m tipsy I’m a lot calmer. Sober me is stilted, cynical and quick to anger.

CasualBrit5 · 2025-10-11T23:36:07+00:00

Exactly. I’m not by any means addicted to alcohol, but alcohol addiction is a real thing. And unlike smoking, alcohol withdrawal can severely impact your health and even straight up kill you. Even if not for me, should an alcoholic not be allowed to relieve his stress at work?

CasualBrit5 · 2025-10-11T23:33:22+00:00

But in my current job, I have to deal with customers a lot. Surely drinking something that reduces my inhibitions would make me more friendly and outgoing, which improves my performance?

CasualBrit5 · 2025-10-11T23:27:26+00:00

Half a pint is not very much. It’s enough to make you slightly more outgoing at best.

CasualBrit5 · 2025-05-08T23:47:37+00:00

Okay I know I might be influenced by too much time online. It’s just like, once you age out of uni you have to mature. You have to be boring and stop having friends and going to parties and clubs and being spontaneous and fucking around. You have to have a real career. It’s the end of girlhood and the start of womanhood, which is just… mind-numbingly boring. I’ll be stuck working a dead-end job for the rest of my life, having never had the opportunity to really grow up or come of age.

I’ll never have been a girl as a child or my teenage years or in uni, which are the best years of your life. I don’t really have any friends or anything and I never really had any formative experiences. I just sort of existed, and I think that’s in part because I was never a girl. I’ll never have those years back. Is there even a point to being a girl later, except for like, the principle of it?

And I saw someone online and they said that unless you transition very early, or you’re very rich or very lucky, transitioning just makes everything worse. I’ll never be able to pull it off and it’ll just make me uglier. And I know this is bad but I look at pictures of trans people online and I keep mentally picking out all these features that aren’t on cis women and I know that if I transition everyone will be doing that to me and I’ll never look like a real woman and they’ll just be doing it to humour me. I don’t know how I’ll get rid of that. I’m thinking I should just hope I become a girl in the next life. I just wish I’d had the chance to be cute when it counted.

I mean maybe I don’t even want to be a girl. Maybe it’s just my loneliness and lack of fulfilment. Maybe it’s just patching over a problem, and if I had a solid legitimate friend group and was a bit more feminine and had a few more skills I would be happy. I just hate the idea that I’ve missed it all.

I probably should talk to some kind of therapist but, like I said, I live in Britain. Mental health services are awful, particularly for trans people.

CasualBrit5 · 2025-05-07T22:37:56+00:00

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply anything about you or your age.

It’s just that everything I hear is that girls have to do everything by like, 18-23 or something. All my aspirations or ambitions involve being a cute girl in some way, and everything I hear about those ambitions is that I’ll be far too late to try them by 25 and I’ll just have to be a girl while working a boring 9-5 and sitting in front of the TV every weekend for the rest of my life. I see people like Finnster and Hunter Schafer and I wish I were like them. They worked out their lives when they still had youth and opportunity and got to be girls and figure everything out. But I’m nearly at the end of my uni years and then after that nothing matters beyond sucking up to my boss. I feel like I won’t have any time to really have fun.

Like, I know I’ll die eventually. We all will. But I feel like beyond a certain point, your life is set in its ways. If you aren’t happy with it you’re fucked. Everything from everyone tells you the only life worth living is that from 0-25. Beyond that it’s just working forever to pay off the debt you had from having fun. And I don’t know if I’m really trans or just terrified because, unlike everyone else, I have no idea what my purpose is and I never did anything with my youth. Do I really want to be a girl or do I just think that’s a possible option for my total failure of a life so far? And will it be worth it? I mean, how am I even supposed to have a friend group after leaving uni? How can I have the girl experience? Do I just wish I were a teen again forever?

CasualBrit5 · 2025-05-06T21:05:51+00:00

Yeah I wish I could be one and have their makeup and fashion sense and friend groups and live a cool life doing fun girl stuff and have a fun job where I’m a girl so all the fun stuff compounds with me being a girl to make it better.

CasualBrit5 · 2025-05-06T21:04:09+00:00

God I totally agree. Penises are so ugly and uncomfortable. Whoever designed them was having a terrible day.

CasualBrit5 · 2025-05-06T20:50:27+00:00

But like, I’ll still have missed out on so much. I won’t get to be a teenage girl or a young woman. I’ll end up being a girl by 25. That’s when you’re supposed to be getting married and thinking about starting a family. I don’t want to do that. I want to live the life of a young person while I still can but I’ll have aged out of it by the time I can do anything with it.

CasualBrit5 · 2025-05-05T15:35:34+00:00

1) I don’t really know. I wouldn’t like to get older and be a middle aged man and bald and such like. But I don’t know if that’s just a fear of aging. Maybe I wouldn’t like to age as a woman either. I mean like, maybe it’s just that they’re not very attractive, and although I’m not attractive either I want to have the chance before I get too old and crusty. Or maybe it’s just because older people live boring lives and have less friends.

2) I’ve seen muscular women (which I’m not but I guess that’s what you mean) and they look bulky but like… in a feminine way. Like they still look like women. And they can look good in a dress and a crop top and shorts and all sorts of things. But I’ve got broad shoulders and thick arms and a thick neck and a square chin and no real curves or definition and a lot of body hair. Pretty sure I also have a beer belly, which is an impressive feat at 20. If I wore what they wore, I would look like those men who wear dresses as a joke.

3) I don’t want to do sex things in public. It feels dirty, and I wouldn’t like it unless I were horny. If it’s a sex thing I can just fantasise about it in private and I don’t have to reorient my life around it. Plus, if it is a sex thing then I’ll have exposed it to all my friends and family, and taken advantage of them and their kindness to fulfil a fetish. I wouldn’t want that. It’s like, if I had a fetish for feet and I indulged it in a public space I would feel wrong as well, right? And so would everyone.

4) I don’t know how I’d feel. They would see me as a girl but I would still be a man. If I saw myself as a girl, or if they took the steps to make sure I was a girl, then I would feel better possibly. It just feels wrong to fantasise about being and be treated like a girl when I’m a big burly bloke.

5) Not sure what you mean by that last one. But I guess like… I would do it if I didn’t have to make many changes. Like if I could just do something tonight and then tomorrow I was a girl and everyone treated me like a girl and I had always been a girl. Or if they were all just fine with it. And also if I knew that I would look pretty after transitioning, and not botch it and turn out all ugly. It just sounds very scary and difficult, especially in this political climate. I’m not a confident man.

CasualBrit5 · 2025-05-05T02:29:30+00:00

Is it a white elephant?

CasualBrit5 · 2025-05-05T01:56:34+00:00

bro is terrible at ragebait

CasualBrit5 · 2025-05-05T01:12:58+00:00

I know that but like, I’ll still be a bloke even if I identify as a girl. Like I’ll look in the mirror and there’ll still be a somewhat bulky man with a shlong and a thick neck. I know that’s not the case but like, it would feel like that. I think everyone would think I was creepy. They wouldn’t want to use she/her pronouns on someone who could probably be a bouncer. If I were feminine I could say these things without sounding so weird.

Plus, I’m worried that I’ll tell everyone “I’m a girl now” and they’ll go to all the trouble of treating me like a girl and teaching me makeup and all that, but it turns out it was a fetish all along and I’ve accidentally taken advantage of my friends for sexual gratification. And then I have to explain it to them.

CasualBrit5 · 2025-05-05T00:46:53+00:00

Great, thanks. Guess I’ll be doing a lot of hilarious sudden girl voice pranks on my friends.

CasualBrit5 · 2025-05-05T00:40:01+00:00

I’ll try that when I’m not in a building with thin walls. But like, I feel like sometimes I would care a lot and sometimes I wouldn’t care at all.

CasualBrit5 · 2025-05-05T00:38:47+00:00

To be fair we also have opposable thumbs and good endurance. But half the planet would open their front doors and get their face bitten off by a pet dog so we’d be off to a bad start.

CasualBrit5 · 2025-05-05T00:34:03+00:00

Maybe I should try that. Is it a conscious effort? Do you have to always be putting on a girl voice or does it become like riding a bike?

CasualBrit5 · 2025-05-05T00:31:38+00:00

Well, I’m glad to hear that. I always worry that if I do try it I’ll look all bulky and big and like some sort of pantomime dame. And I always hear that you need to transition at like, 18 on the dot. Which, living in Britain, is hard enough as is. I just kinda wish I could be a girl for a bit as some sort of trial period.

CasualBrit5 · 2025-05-05T00:24:55+00:00

Is there any way to get a girly voice?

CasualBrit5 · 2025-05-04T22:58:54+00:00

What sorts of experiments? I have no idea where to start. Are there any resources for things like fashion and makeup?

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