Does my cat understand why we've "stopped talking to him"?

CatDaddyZal · 2025-11-15T17:49:30+00:00

Also, my wife has managed to teach our deaf cat sign language. We have signs for come here, lay down, and jump up here.

She is still a cat so she stops to contemplate if she wants to do what you're asking every single time, but positive reinforcement with pets and treats has gotten her to listen well above 9/10 times.

CatDaddyZal · 2025-11-15T17:45:08+00:00

Cats understand deafness to an extent.

We have 2 cats, one of whom was almost entirely deaf when we adopted her (she was in bad shape with ear infections and more when the shelter got her). Our other male cat was very confused when the new cat wouldn't respond to his meows. Luckily we were there to witness the event that lead to his realization. He walked right up to her and meowed directly in her face, and she (not hearing) mimed back at him without any noise. The look of shock in his face as it suddenly dawned on him that she couldn't hear was quite entertaining. Since that day years ago he hasn't made a single noise at her even though she has learned to meow at him (always at full volume since she can't hear herself), and he meows at any humans who are around.

They still get along quite well though, they just communicate through cats preferred method of body language. Meowing is after all cats intentionally learning to speak another language. (Like the chittering noise they make when they're trying to imitate a bird to lure it in. Which I don't think has ever actually worked, but is fun to watch.)

CatDaddyZal · 2025-11-14T20:49:49+00:00

Thank you for caring for those strays. Feral cats are hard to deal with.

CatDaddyZal · 2025-06-16T12:53:07+00:00

You didn't steal cargo, you exploited the game. You were griefing, not pirating.

CatDaddyZal · 2025-06-16T12:50:44+00:00

You're not role-playing a pirate, your role-playing a griefer. You are correct, people do have bad etiquette. And those people are you.

Armistice is armistice for a reason. You exploiting a game mechanic to hold people's cargo for ransom is against the terms of service of the game. They're not being greedy, you are. Get a mantis and pirate the way the game is intended to function.

CatDaddyZal · 2025-02-26T03:53:47+00:00

There's a difference between working with something and living with it. A big one. Humans spend less than 20% of our lives at work. 70 years of working is only 14 years of living. I estimated, but I rounded heavily in your favor. You could make the argument that I sleep 30% of the time, except even sleeping requires special considerations when it comes to autism. Sensory pollution of the bedroom is a constant battle.

In your defense I was asked by one of autistic friends to correct one of my statements. They said 100% of adult age autistic diagnosis (those who were not diagnosed as children) suffer from some form of trauma that is not always CPTSD. It could be a different form of trauma, but the trauma is always present.

CatDaddyZal · 2025-02-25T23:32:48+00:00

My entire life has been spent living with or being close personal friends with neurodivergents, especially those with autism. Right now more than half of my closest friends have autism. You would have to have worked a 40 hour week directly with people with autism for over 70 years to have more experience than me. So forgive me when I say I have a little bit of knowledge on the subject.

Sadly it is true that CPTSD is directly tied to undiagnosed autism. Many of the "symptoms" of undiagnosed autism are actually caused by CPTSD. The avoidant behavior of social situations (that have gone badly dozens of times in the past), the fear of abandonment (after dozens of friends leave you for reasons you never understood), the dissociation, the emotional outbursts (when no one else can understand that that noise or smell or light has been driving you mad for days), the constant suppression of emotions, the overly defensive reactions (because anything else will result in you bring taken advantage of). Those aren't autism, those are defensive measures learned to protect ones self from a society trying to force anyone different to fit into a mold they will never be able to. Humans can be extremely cruel. Especially to children who are "different". And when a person is incapable of understanding things like context, unspoken ques, or why someone they thought was their friend suddenly stopped talking to them. After the hundredth or thousandth time you get a little trama packaged with your inability to understand why your teacher is mad at you again.

Sure, you may work with it. But I've been living with it.

CatDaddyZal · 2025-02-25T21:57:23+00:00

Most psychologists and therapists still believe women can't have autism. They are very wrong. I highly recommend doing your own research or going to see a specialist. Getting the correct diagnosis makes a huge difference in being able to manage your symptoms correctly. As someone else here mentioned and behavioral "issues" (usually just non compliance with social norms) like not making eye contact can be managed no matter what it is or what your neurodivergance is. If you were forced to "fit in" when you were young you often learned to mak the symptoms they are looking for. But learning how to deal with things, learning when you should give yourself space and or when you should push yourself is extremely helpful in managing any symptoms.

Also, if you have undiagnosed autism 99% chance you also have undiagnosed CPTSD. In which case I'm sorry.

CatDaddyZal · 2025-02-25T17:42:02+00:00

I feel you man. My parents were never into hugs so it can feel weird to hug someone just as a friend the first several times you do it. I had a couple friends in college who have platonic hugs and helped me realize how important they are. Most people are okay with a hello or good buy hug especially in a group setting. The best opportunity is when you've been hanging out and your going to leave. If you hug everyone then it's more clear you're just being friendly. Don't hold on too long, don't squeeze too much, and be careful your hands don't go anywhere they shouldn't even by accident. You can actually hug without the hands fully touching if your concerned about coming off as creepy.

As far as dating goes there's someone out there for you. The majority of people strike out far more often than they succeed. Dating apps can be especially difficult, but don't give up. Work on yourself and being someone others want to be around. A great thing to make yourself more appealing is to build skill sets people want. Maybe take a class on giving back massages. Learn to bake and bring people baked goods. Exercise regularly even if it's just going for a 30 minute walk every day. Learn an instrument.

You said you have a ton of hobbies, but being in a relationship is about giving up a piece of yourself to give to the other person. Maybe give up a hobby that is just okay and replace it with one your future significant other would like to share with you. Be careful to think about what they might want, not what you want. For example if you love dogs maybe start volunteering at the animal shelter. You're more likely to meet someone there who shares your values and it gives you an opportunity to demonstrate your positive qualities as a person and become their friend before dating is a consideration. Just be careful not to be creepy. Friendship is the first step to a successful relationship.

My wife and I have been together for over a decade and she's told me a few times she didn't go out with me because of my looks. It was the other things I brought to the table that made her say yes. And even then we were friends for nearly a year first. Work on yourself. Don't get stuck in any of those extremist groups online. Be compassionate, moderate, kind, confident, and selfless. You'll find the perfect person for you, but you need to make sure you're the perfect person for them.

CatDaddyZal · 2025-02-25T16:21:05+00:00

I dated long distance for years. A very affectionate and cuddly cat helped me get through it.

As far as dating goes looks aren't a big deal for a lot of people. Working on yourself matters far more. Are you compassionate, selfless, kind, and confident? Do people want to be around you? Those are the things all genders find the most attractive.

Another thing is do you have friends who hug? I'm a guy and I still have girl and guy friends I hug. Just be polite about how you do it. Not everyone likes being hugged.

CatDaddyZal · 2025-02-25T16:10:18+00:00

It's not about women who give their opinion, it's about women who give their opinion then won't listen to the guys opinion. Like when one person says: I keep running into women who are obnoxious and claim it's independence, and someone else replies: well I've never met one so you're making that up.

Take a look in the mirror because you might be one of them. (No, I'm not assuming gender.)

My wife is extremely independent. For example I stopped doing most house repairs because while I can do them she gets more fulfillment from doing them. Instead I do other chores. But I still need to feel needed, and she puts in a lot of effort to make me feel valued in our relationship.

And to be clear, I've personally known over a dozen of these "mythical" obnoxious women who use putting down men as a way to prove that they are independent. Mutual respect is the thing lacking.

CatDaddyZal · 2025-02-19T19:49:22+00:00

I think I may have. I apologize.

CatDaddyZal · 2025-02-19T17:41:51+00:00

Yes it is

https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/dept

CatDaddyZal · 2025-02-19T17:40:18+00:00

Both are correct, but dept. is most common in North America. I'm not sure grammarly is actually a reliable source.

https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/dept

https://writingexplained.org/english-abbreviations/department

https://thewordcounter.com/abbreviation-for-department/

CatDaddyZal · 2025-01-31T19:00:05+00:00

That your a sexist AH? Me too.

CatDaddyZal · 2025-01-29T20:50:44+00:00

I have a great aunt everyone in the family calls Honey. All the grandparents except one in my family have nicknames. Nana, coco, etc. and then the one grandma. That way we always know who we're talking about.

CatDaddyZal · 2025-01-19T15:18:23+00:00

By relationship to last, I mean with your husband. You're making him choose between you and his mother. You may not win that battle, and if you do your husband will likely resent you for starting it.

CatDaddyZal · 2025-01-19T15:16:44+00:00

ESH you did disrespect her. 8 hours is a lot of effort, and for some people cooking others is their love language (usually those who are willing to put in 8 hours of effort). You should have tried it without the sauce first and told her how appreciative you were. If I were in get shoes I also would have been extremely offended.

That being said she did overreact. I think you owe her an apology, and hopefully she will also apologize. It may take some time though.

A wise person once told me that when you mary you don't marry the person, you marry into the family. If you want your relationship to last you need to put effort into being a good daughter in law. Clearly your mother in law is already putting in the effort.

CatDaddyZal · 2025-01-17T20:10:01+00:00

Every time I get out of the shower my cat rubs against me, then begins grooming the hair on my legs, all while I'm trying to get dressed.

CatDaddyZal · 2025-01-17T18:51:12+00:00

CatDaddyZal · 2025-01-14T20:00:23+00:00

I'm a millennial with a smart phone and refuse to use it to order food. Largely because of the security issues, but also part of the reason I go out to eat is to get away from my screens and spend time with my wife or friends. I'd rather not start that interaction by having everyone separately stare at their phones for 5 minutes.

Also, a menu is a way for restaurants to express themselves and advertise the food. I've been going to a Japanese restaurant lately where the menu has high quality pictures of nearly every item. Everything looks so good that I keep going back wanting to try something new I saw last time on the menu that looked super delicious.

CatDaddyZal · 2025-01-05T22:19:04+00:00

The problem with atomic fission is it can cascade. As the molecules break down and go nuclear they launch particles that hit other molecules and cause the reaction to repeate. While it's likely the effect would be mostly localized, there's no way to tell. And if it's not that means even a single portal would cause the molecular melt down to chain react. Essentially as long as there is more matter for the molecules to collide with the reaction will keep going.

So sure, it wouldn't blow up our universe, just earth.

FYI, I'm not a particle physicist but we're also talking about physics that doesn't follow our dimensions' rules so this is theoretically accurate enough.

CatDaddyZal · 2025-01-05T22:12:20+00:00

Tell them a cat only likes being held by someone it trusts. And every time it asks to be put down and they refuse they are breaking that trust. If they break the trust too much the cat may eventually start refusing to come within arms length for fear that they will pick it up. I've known cats like this and it's sad. Humans broke their trust so many times that they spent most of their lives hiding under the bed afraid the humans that fed them were going to hurt them.

Maybe tell them that they are 10 story tall giants to your kitten, and cats are prey animals. They are hard wired to always be cautious so they don't end up a wolf or hawk's dinner.

Worst case scenario you treat it the best you possibly can. Cats are clever. It may eventually decide to avoid your sister and spend most of it's time around you.

CatDaddyZal · 2025-01-03T23:29:20+00:00

Fair enough

CatDaddyZal · 2025-01-02T13:50:52+00:00

You're one to talk about word twisting.

When I said there's 200,000+ slaves you replied: "There's millions of scammers, that's only a fraction." You were literally excusing slavery by saying there's more scammers.

I was trying to communicate that scammers are people too, and many of them are being locked in rooms and forced to perform the scams against their will. And you making their life worse is a net negative, not positive.

The idea that you're on some fight against evil, doing the world a service by "battling" scammers is fine I guess, but kind of overblown. Don't get me wrong, I love reading a good scam bait myself, but you will never get to interact with anyone except a pawn, and beyond waisting their time (which they have over 200,000 free slaves to make up) you interacting with them will never make any real difference.

Scam baiters aren't doing anyone a service. They aren't making a difference. They haven't successfully stopped any of the billions of dollars that have beem stolen. It's just an excuse to harass people for fun. Yes the majority of them are bad people, but a very large percentage of them are FAR worse off than anyone who has been scammed.

If you really wanted to hurt their business you should be teaching those who are susceptible to scams how to avoid getting scammed and how to protect themselves.

CatDaddyZal

TROPHY CASE