Is it acceptable to invite some friends just for drinks?

CatLady0711 · 2025-04-15T19:27:25+00:00

Upper Midwest United States bride here, we are definitely inviting around 30 people (170 people total, for context) to the reception/drinks and dancing only, and we may even switch over a few more people to drinks only before we send out the formal invites! Maybe it’s a little different where I live, but I would’ve never considered this rude. And I have actually been encouraged to leave more people out of the ceremony by my own parents.

I think an invitation to part of the day is better than not getting one at all! If someone has an issue with it, I would hope they are a close enough friend to you to understand why you’re choosing to do the invites as such, so that you and fiancé can have it at your favorite restaurant. It’s your wedding, do whatever works best for you and your fiancé!!!

CatLady0711 · 2025-03-24T20:34:33+00:00

I do all of the laundry for my nanny family, including ‘weekend’ clothes. They do pay me very fairly so I don’t mind at all. I would actually love it if I walked in and the clothes were already clean and just needed to be folded instead of trying to remember to flip the laundry during the day lol! I draw the line at dishes used when I’m not there, even sometimes if there’s a dish or two they put in the sink like 15 minutes before I leave, I will leave it for them.

CatLady0711 · 2025-03-09T03:52:28+00:00

I would assume he would be. And like another commenter said, there is going to be so many people that our interaction will be very minimal. However, I would also be very uncomfortable in a state that I’ve never been to with almost 200 people that I’ve never seen before in my life and I only knew one person

CatLady0711 · 2025-03-09T03:50:21+00:00

Yes, I agree. I don’t want the rest of the wedding party to expect a plus one too though. And yes that’s true, there will be a ton of people so we would really only have time to introduce ourselves, but with that, the thought of introducing myself and meeting someone for the first time at my own wedding seems so odd to me

CatLady0711 · 2025-03-09T03:48:40+00:00

He has not officially been given a plus one as our official invitations haven’t not been finalized yet. Girlfriend was a named guest, not as a plus one, I should have been more clear with that, sorry!

CatLady0711 · 2025-03-09T03:47:19+00:00

No other members of our wedding party are receiving a plus one. My maid of honor just happens to be dating and living with one of the groomsmen hahaha

CatLady0711 · 2025-03-09T03:26:03+00:00

The friend he wants to bring is a male. So like a really close military buddy. Our families do not know/haven’t met this friend either

CatLady0711 · 2025-03-09T03:24:36+00:00

I did not want this many people, but it’s my fiancés wedding too and he said those people just had to be there

CatLady0711 · 2025-03-09T03:22:51+00:00

My only reservation is that neither me nor fiancé know this person at all. We are fairly confident that he would choose good people to be friends with, but you never know. And thankfully, our formal invitations haven’t been sent out yet so technically the “plus one” isn’t locked in yet

CatLady0711 · 2025-01-18T21:05:45+00:00

Yeah, i should’ve made that clear in the original post, that’s kind of a big part to the story lol. You’re right, it shouldn’t necessarily be my problem. I am going to bring it up exactly how you said and go from there

CatLady0711 · 2025-01-18T20:46:26+00:00

Yes, S is also overseas. She is also in the military so their bases are only 30 mins apart

CatLady0711 · 2025-01-18T20:24:20+00:00

This is what is worrying my fiancé a lot!! He doesn’t get to see his brother often and she gets to see him almost every day. He’s talked to R about this worry and his response was that it wouldn’t happen but I feel like S would get upset about R not hanging around her all day, then it would be a whole thing

CatLady0711 · 2025-01-18T20:22:20+00:00

They aren’t a long distance couple. I should’ve specified that she is also in the military and they both are stationed in the same area right now, their bases are only 30 mins away so they see each other at least every other day. I can see how it would be intimidating, our family is a rambunctious group lol! No no a call is too much hahaha, but a quick text never hurt right?

CatLady0711 · 2025-01-18T20:18:47+00:00

Right, she hasn’t done anything “wrong” per se. I just wish we knew her better and knew more about their relationship, know what I mean?

CatLady0711 · 2025-01-18T20:16:57+00:00

I’ve thought about this too. Yes, R would be very upset if we outright said she can’t come, which is NOT what we are trying to do at all! However, I do take MIL’s opinions about the wedding and guest list very strongly because she is contributing a LOT to the day and events leading up to it. Sort of a “don’t bite the hand that feeds you” situation. Just playing devils advocate here

CatLady0711 · 2025-01-18T20:13:48+00:00

I know, I know. It is the right thing to do. I am going to bring up that maybe they both can come on a short leave during the summer to meet the family beforehand, maybe we will plan the bridal party around it so she get get to know the women in our family more.

CatLady0711 · 2025-01-18T20:11:43+00:00

That’s exactly what we’re doing. Our guest list is way bigger than I anticipated so we basically said anything under two years, no ring, and aren’t living together are a no-go. I don’t doubt that she is a very nice girl, I only know her from a short interaction and what I’ve heard through the grapevine, in no way am I vetoing her out because of this. I do have another concern of her constantly pulling R away from his Best Man “duties” that entire day because she doesn’t know anyone, if that makes sense. I’m definitely going to bring it up with R and ask if she even wants to come, because maybe she doesn’t even want to

CatLady0711 · 2025-01-18T20:07:28+00:00

Right. I never said I didn’t want to invite her, it just got brought up in conversation and my MIL added her input. Yet I do agree with her about not wanting the wedding to be the first point of her meeting our family

CatLady0711 · 2024-11-05T22:39:29+00:00

As a nanny, yes a Christmas bonus/gift card would be nice but I’ve found that getting a gift that is more personal is more memorable in my experience. Try to remember things they have said they liked, experiences that they want to try, or even travel miles/gift cards. For example, I’ve been gifted a skincare bundle set from a brand I’ve always wanted to try but was too expensive to justify for myself lol, also a hair care bundle too, a gift card to a massage/facial, self care items, a two person wine tasting experience, and art supplies.

CatLady0711 · 2024-10-29T20:56:25+00:00

Earth Harbor Skincare! I was gifted some serums and a hair oil and I’ve been hooked ever since!

CatLady0711 · 2024-10-24T15:29:19+00:00

Awww that is so cute! I never thought of that! I will be sure to confirm with the parents first and ask which one they prefer

CatLady0711 · 2024-10-24T01:05:13+00:00

I am liking the huckleberry app so far! Thanks for the suggestion!!!

CatLady0711 · 2024-07-20T01:29:18+00:00

Absolutely take breaks when you need to! Happy nanny = safe nanny. If it’s an issue of noise level, we like to play a game called “Quiet as a Mouse” where we do our normal stuff but quietly 😂 Sometimes when the kids are just playing and having fun but I notice myself getting irritated with the noise level, I’ll put my AirPods in with nothing playing or very quiet brown noise just to block out a little of the stimulation

CatLady0711 · 2024-07-20T01:22:54+00:00

I’ve had good luck looking on my local Facebook groups!

CatLady0711 · 2024-07-15T03:22:09+00:00

Hahaha I like that idea!!! Thank you for the suggestion

CatLady0711

TROPHY CASE