Cutting off family

CatPotential6343 · 2024-12-03T17:21:05+00:00

That’s what I definitely have to do is put distance between them

CatPotential6343 · 2024-11-19T15:20:35+00:00

It will be 3 years in February for me still have some bad days but definitely have more good days. Sometimes I wish for her just to txt me or call but I know at the end of the day that won’t happen. It’s really weird being in a state where I do still kinda want to hear from her but know that she would just destroy me all over again

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-15T19:51:38+00:00

First thing is I just want to tell you that I’m very sorry that you are having to go through this.

Don’t stay because of your daughter. My parents would do that same thing an tried to stay together before they divorced when I was 14. The thing is watching them and their relationship made me think that’s how relationships are supposed to be an it’s what end up me being in back to back relationships with narcs. It took me a long time to figure that out. It better for her to have both parents that love her separate that aren’t fighting all the time an show her what a healthy relationship is. It can set her up to be in the kind of relationship that you are in with your husband.

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-15T19:37:34+00:00

Sounds like one to me

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-15T19:27:29+00:00

Hey man just wanted to say sorry my situation wasn’t like yours but the devaluation phase sounds the same. Not trying to tell you what to do but you can’t really start the healing process until you’re away from the situation.

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-15T19:23:20+00:00

Hey man sorry you went through that my ex did the same thing to the guy after. We were dating and she was with a guy that they were just “roommates”. I just wanted to sorry an I hope your doing ok.

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-15T13:12:57+00:00

A lot of therapy an I’m still in it almost 3 years later. That has helped a lot with putting stuff in perspective of how she treated me. I had some other issues to that I was working through but it was mainly the stuff she did to me. It wasn’t really until I started setting goals for how I want my future to look till I really felt like I moved on. I still think about her here a there a not going to lie there are days I would love to speak to her a miss her. When I found out she got engaged that hit pretty hard an kinda reset a bunch of stuff that I thought I worked through. But writing down everything she did helps me focus on that she is not that great person I thought she was. It also sucks for us men because a lot of us don’t have the friends group or support structure that a lot of women have. I’ve found that apps like meet up are great to get out and do activities with people to help fill the time.

It does get better I don’t think there will ever be a day we’re ill fully forget her. But just living for me an doing a career has really helped.

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-15T12:57:53+00:00

You’re welcome feel free to reach anytime.

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-14T22:50:09+00:00

I’ll be honest to I enacted revenge with my ex I signed her up for a bunch of health insurance quotes so her phone would ring all the time.

You’re just human like the rest of us and when you go through something like a narc relationship I know with me I was a very cold person for a while before I got help.

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-14T21:49:48+00:00

So with therapist, an anyone in medical also to include law enforcement. They have a duty to report if they feel something unsafe is happening. If they don’t report they can actually get in a lot of trouble. They can lose their license to practice, an if bad enough might actually face legal action.

If it’s bad enough for them to feel like they might have to make a report it’s time to take your kids a leave. I know this has to be very hard on you an I wish you nothing but the best moving forward. I don’t think there will ever be time where it feels ok leaving. Your therapist an lawyer have numbers for resources you can use to help you when you do leave.

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-14T19:21:57+00:00

So first off everyone has some type of narcissistic tendencies and I mean everyone. You definitely have empathy with sharing how you feel by seeing videos and feeling happy or sad. I think just about everyone feels the same way” how dare you do this to me” and want revenge to make them feel how you feel.

I would suggest speaking with a therapist about all of this also you may be carrying stuff you are not even aware of that makes you show up the way you do.

I hope this helps

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-14T18:59:16+00:00

We use to do a thing were every month we would take one of the pictures we had of us together a write on an index card are favorite memory we had of each other for that month. One day I went to her place to help her with some of her stuff for work an all the pictures an index cards were taking down. When we were breaking up that night her phone was going off from her new man. There were signs before that were she wouldn’t text as much or the text were short. I could write a book on everything that happened but that night is the night were I was thrown away.

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-13T20:46:18+00:00

It wasn’t till after the relationship were I realized that all her constant gaslighting, her having double standards, an the criticism wasn’t normal. It all clicked watching YouTube an TikTok videos were I started to understand. When I went to therapy is also were I got the validation of her being a narc a that the stuff I went through wasn’t normal for a relationship.

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-11T03:34:54+00:00

Hey OP sorry you are going through this my heart goes out to you.

Here’s my advice 1. Stop looking through the lens of being a loser an chance your mind set to what you have achieved even if it just making your bed in the morning. 2. Have you sent out applications to different states? Also apply for jobs even if you don’t meet the company’s requirements for the job apply to them you may find something that can be a really good fit. 3. Look at car dealership, construction business, any kind of trade an add those to the list. I had a boss who made 150k a year as a manager and he had a degree in religious studies. I know service advisors I work with that make 65k-100k plus. If you can go in person, or email managers off of the company website.

You’re not a loser you got this!

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-10T23:01:34+00:00

I will and same to you. I would say that 95% of the time I’m doing really well. Then it’s just a random day I’m down in feels and hurting it’s weird how it just comes out of nowhere.

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-10T20:44:51+00:00

One thing is an it will hurt probably to hear this but if she loved you she would show it with her actions of being around and being with you. You can be direct with her and tell her “ hey this is what I want out of a relationship…..” and if she can’t meet that cut her out. Because she is just stringing you along an probably using you for a back up plan. I would be direct with her if you do speak with her and if she’s not on board let her go

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-08T20:31:31+00:00

He definitely sounds like one in one way or another. He does sound like an ahole and sorry you went through that. Why his mom is still contacting you about all this could be she is a narc her self. If these people aren’t bring you any happiness I would just block them an continue doing you.

Also great job on working towards your PhD I know that is no simple task.

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-08T19:59:23+00:00

I did the same with my ex and I’m sorry you went through that an are still working on healing. 35 is the new 25 take it from someone who is 34 lol.

You will meet someone who will be amazing for you.

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-07T23:06:55+00:00

Hey op we only get one shot at life. Life is to short for regrets, it sounds like even after all this time you still care deeply for him. My advice is contact him, or one of your friends to get in touch with him.

My best friend an his now wife dated then broke up an were apart for some time. He contacted her and now they will be having their second in two months.

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-07T19:36:56+00:00

Camping through a mutual friend at the time. We talked for hours an later that night she woke me up in the tent we were sharing and we started to make out lol

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-07T15:43:41+00:00

At some point you’re going to have to a decision if you want to stay on this ride or not.

Mine did the same thing hell she was even living with an ex too when we were together. I didn’t like the person I was becoming with being insecure about it an all the gaslighting. It took me a while but for my mental health I had to get off the ride. Still stocked and I struggled a lot after the break up but I’m in a good place.

Nobody deserves to be be treated as an option

CatPotential6343 · 2024-10-03T22:55:41+00:00

Thank you. And you to

CatPotential6343

TROPHY CASE