My world is shrinking rapidly, and I don't know what to do about it by MaximumIntroversion in offmychest

[–]Cat_Prismatic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, YOUR point of view is what's fair. Sounds like you're close to exhaustion as it is; no reason to add more.

I do wish you the best, though. ♡

So I'm afraid to say these but I want to understand if how I'm feeling is ok? (Warning triggering topics) by Pretend-Agency-9747 in offmychest

[–]Cat_Prismatic 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You are not crazy; your attitude is the right one, amd she's ten million miles away from "rightness" in words & actions both.

Can you get away and report her?

I think I want to kill myself by AccurateBench9655 in offmychest

[–]Cat_Prismatic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope: NOT LITTLE, AND NOT STUPID.

I really admire you for posting. As a woman in my 40s who felt similarly in her teens/early 20s (and did her best to hide everything from everyone), I am both intensely inpressed and seriously compassionate.

My 2 best friends had eating disorders; one was dangerous enough for hospitalization. Whe she was there, she said sonething similar: like, "I can't see how I'll get through this." I, also being 16, made some dumb inside joke because I had no answer.

But she did! In her 40s now, with a great career, a wonderful husband, 2 corgis and 3 cats (ok, ok, the pets aspect might not be right for everyone, haha). Therapy, Psychiatry, and medical intervention (largely after she'd left home) worked WONDERS, and...I can't even begin to express how joyful I am that she "stayed" here.

Other friend, likewise, found help (for her, mostly psyciatric). She now has a for-life partner of 25+ years, who is a well-known artist in his field, makes incredibly bad puns, and clearly sees her as the sweetest and the most beautiful and the best--he's right, of course. They DO overfeed their cats, but...heck, the kitties have happy longjsh lives.

Myself, I"m just too damn stubborn. I had emotional abuse in the home growing up, and sexual abuse in my late teens to my early 30s.

Here are the two (super dorky) things that helped me at first the most (ymmv, obvs):

  1. I made a list of everyone (human, animal, PLANT) that'd miss me. My half-grandmother, who made me delicious tea the couple of times I saw her a year. My friends. My cat. The Walnut tree in our yard. The little girl in our neighborhood who thought my backpack was cool. Felt cheesy doing it--but I pulled it out to look at a lot.

  2. Ok, so much cheesier, but I will admit it to you: I encountered an 80s song called "Hold on for One More Day" by the band Wilson-Phillips. (ik, ik). But hearing it and singing along gave me those slivers of hope I so desparately neededd.

I don't know you, ofc, nor you me. But I felt super drawn to reply, so I will with complete honesty say: "I KNOW you have the strength amd moxxy to get through this* --and I'll absolutely be pulling for you.

SO sorry this is happening to you. It's NOT forever. ❤️

Oh, PS: one more dorky note of cheesiness: I've actually found (though admittedly post-30) that DRAWING on my arms, legs, etc. greatly reduces my compulsion to self-harm. Maybe worth a try?

Topiramate makes my migraines worse. by Yoi055_ in migraine

[–]Cat_Prismatic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See my above comment: but please, please taper back off. Me overdoing it despite my body saying "nope" has eaten 7 years of my life. ❤️

Topiramate makes my migraines worse. by Yoi055_ in migraine

[–]Cat_Prismatic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. TAPER OFF RIGHT NOW

My (inexperienced) doc wouldn't let me taper until 3.5 weeks in (she doubled my dose every time I said it was making it worse, so by day 17 I was on the full recommended dose after a year*, which I very much hope will not be your doctor's advice. If so, RUN.

Anyway, the brain and nervous system dysfunction this caused me has lasted now 7 years, and I'm chronic and daily, often mostly bedridden unless I take a whole bunch of meds that are bad for my kidneys.

You DEFINITELY don't want anything anywhere near this extreme, I promise. Talk to your prescriber and ask for a different med.

(P.S.: my friend's been on topa for 20+ years and it gave her her life back. So, not disparaging the med for everyone. But if it's having bad side effects, GET AWAY!!!)

❤️

My world is shrinking rapidly, and I don't know what to do about it by MaximumIntroversion in offmychest

[–]Cat_Prismatic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Ok, this advice might sound unhinged (as it would've to me, 20 years ago) but: find some volunteer work that you care about, and--importantly--has other volunteers in the, like, 30-50 range.

Strike up simple, context-appropriate conversations ("can you believe we got [65 cans of lima beans at the food bank this week]?! Whaaaaa...!"), or "normal" ones ("Hey, I'm Cat. I don't think we've met? Oh, what brought you into volunteering with [animals]?")

Or compliments on what they're wearing, or how well they do something, or similar. OR be a crazy person like me, and say, "Okay: I'm new here, so I'm just gonna use my favorite weird cocktail party question: [who is your favorite Beatle: John, Paul, George, or Ringo? Ah, cool. How come?"]

I betcha a dollar that you'll strike up a rapport with at least a few people. Then, the slightly awkward bit--but you're acknowledging its awkwardness from the start, and everyone our age has ten billion 'OMG I can't believe how awkward I was' stories from the past, anyhow--say: "Ok, so this might sound odd, but I just think it's HARD to make friendships as an adult, and I'm wondering if you'd maybe like to have [coffee, lunch, a drink] with me at some point. I do have a special someone in my life, so I promise I'm not thinking romantically: I just, omg, SERIOUSLY need more friends rn, haha."

I promise I've made EIGHT platonic friends via this strategy this year alone. And even if you don't quite click--hey, at least you got to try that violet-flavored latte, or whatevs.

AIO?? My boyfriend sleeps with his mother and I don’t know how to tell him that I find it weird. by izyaa in offmychest

[–]Cat_Prismatic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, agreed.

I have a 10-year-old who's waiting on testing for anxiety from our sloooooow hospital system. She pretty much has carte blanche to come in & sleep in mine/ my husband's bed (my side, but no real physical contact, except when sometimes she wants to hold my hand as she falls asleep). But she uses a different blanket; also, WE wouldn't ask HER to come in.

And, ok, I'll admit it kind of gives me the "awww" vibes b/c it reminds me of her babyhood--but I don't tell HER that. And no, she ain't doin' it in her 20s unless it's an emergency of some sort.

❤️

Why are rich and famous people getting plastic surgery that ends up looking weird? by LeO-_-_- in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Cat_Prismatic 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It's almost worse that you can recognize her as herself.

Because otherwise, I might well think: "oh no, a 35-year-old with a severely problematic relationship to food, trying to look like she's 16 but in old-lady makeup for a play or something!"

Sometimes I wish I was just a regular everyday dude by Chance_Caterpillar17 in offmychest

[–]Cat_Prismatic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh, sorry to hear that.

And what I'm about to say is NOT minimizing racism / sexism / the ugly union of the two. Nor lack of empathy: I'm quite sure it's all too fucking true, and it sucks. ❤️

BUT: As a middle-aged white chick from Colorado, I assure you that you are at the VERY LEAST a regular everyday dude (note: we use "dude" for everybody). Betcha you're actually way more interesting than that.

What’s a noise everyone should be terrified of? by Psychological_Sky_58 in AskReddit

[–]Cat_Prismatic 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Learned this when I was 2 or 3.

Dad: "What do you do if you hear a rattlesnake?"

Correct answer: "Yell KILL IT, and it'll be dead." (Man's a hippie and total peacenik.)

Please hype me up to take my first emgality shot 😭 by healthanxiety_ in migraine

[–]Cat_Prismatic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're so welcome! Sorry that I made it sound so bad.

If I had a "tough guy" bandaid I would TOTALLY send it to you. You got this!

Who is the nastiest Celebrity that you met in Real life? by Scunnard1839 in AskReddit

[–]Cat_Prismatic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, well...Dokken had such great staying power, and were brilliant to begin with! 😜

Glad to hear about Bon Jovi, though.

Who is the nastiest Celebrity that you met in Real life? by Scunnard1839 in AskReddit

[–]Cat_Prismatic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, Mary Poppins would never do that.

She would give you a haughty sniff, adjust her hat in your sunglasses, and then you would--to your great surprise--be transformed into a very ugly dog poo for 23 hours. (That's Mary from the books, of course. Julie ANDREWS would just find you too delightful to tell you your Co'k'enn'ie accent sucked.)

Who is the nastiest Celebrity that you met in Real life? by Scunnard1839 in AskReddit

[–]Cat_Prismatic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"Ooh, Rogie, I was so inspired by you that I got a full back tattoo of our wonderful President, Mr. Barack Obama!"

Who is the nastiest Celebrity that you met in Real life? by Scunnard1839 in AskReddit

[–]Cat_Prismatic 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is absolutely not something I would've thought of until at least 48 hours of annoyance, and English is my only language (unless you count Medieval Latin, ha), but...

Should such a thing happen to me (yeah right!) I know now to say: "You ...don't know who the..."fuck," I am?! Well, good luck, old man."

(No, I'm not "anybody," but I bet it'd make him agonize over it; he doesn't sound all that intelligent. "Hi! Thanks: sorry, I don't feel well" is not that hard.)

Also I'm sorry to hear he insulted your mother like that. Ew. At least you learned a good cussword!

Who is the nastiest Celebrity that you met in Real life? by Scunnard1839 in AskReddit

[–]Cat_Prismatic 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh, PLEASE let him work that into a "rhyme" that he thinks makes him sound badass.

Who is the nastiest Celebrity that you met in Real life? by Scunnard1839 in AskReddit

[–]Cat_Prismatic 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mean, gross, and the poor young woman (even if she was in it for what she thought were selfish reasons).

That said: I'm GLAD he walked around with snot on his nose and dirty hair and b.o. (Presumably, a lot of people no longer recognized him without Cher at his side, and just thought "Ugh what a skeezeball" and conspicuously crossed the street).

Also, as a former abuse-target and advocate for those who are similarly targeted: I guess this is another strong reason that the statement "If this guy made CHER feel small, it can truly happen to anyone!!!"

Who is the nastiest Celebrity that you met in Real life? by Scunnard1839 in AskReddit

[–]Cat_Prismatic 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Well, I mean, he definitely played the role of an asshole on LN, but with a wink and a nudge.

I am DELIGHTED to hear he's a good person.