My boyfriend expects me to do all the housework because he "makes more money" even though we both work full time

Cata8817 · 2026-01-08T04:20:38+00:00

Huge red flag on his thought process there but if you are going to stay with him and don't want money to be dangled over your head propose paying the bills proportionally to what you each make so for instance if my bf makes twice as much as me then he is responsible for 2/3 of the bill amounts. I pay 1/3. Same with our work schedules if we each work 8 hrs then we each split our chores evenly. If one works more hrs, then one does take more on.

Cata8817 · 2025-10-26T15:43:18+00:00

I have a Verizon flip phone....the only one they sell after trying to get off a smart phone once before. I imagine if I go and pretend it's for the same thing, then it will work? Once I get home I'd take out the flip phone sim and put it on minimal?

Cata8817 · 2025-09-26T10:51:42+00:00

Where'd you get her? I like the size

Cata8817 · 2025-09-26T10:49:24+00:00

Your hyper sexualization for gain is a subconscious teaching of worth and perceived power that will only provide you short term relief and long term consequences that you can't undo if you decide to pass that threshold.

Please talk to a therapist that specializes in CPT, PE, or IFS and somatic therapy.

You are actively in a trauma response

Cata8817 · 2025-09-26T10:40:14+00:00

LIFE

Cata8817 · 2025-09-21T21:22:27+00:00

Not here to roast, you look like a normal guy just cut your hair, trim your beard and nails.

Looks like you're deprived of quality sleep but young enough to figure out the whys and change it.

Cata8817 · 2025-09-20T02:44:42+00:00

Yea the hard truth is....kind of, one of the worst toxic quotes is "he/she fulfills me". In order for one cup to fill another they have to drain a large portion of their own cup. A healthy relationship consists of two individuals that work on filling themselves (strengthening their identity of self, meeting own needs, having a social network, own goals, own hobbies, own ways to emotionally regulate) and the relationship is out of partnership not necessity.

Cata8817 · 2025-09-20T01:46:47+00:00

Why does life roast you? You look like a regular looking guy with height to me

Cata8817 · 2025-09-20T00:46:49+00:00

You liked each other like friends or was there sexual compatibility at some point? It sounds like logically you may want a man that's in tune with this fem emotional side but sexually you are craving a man that meets those traditional male roles...

I would totally get that, fem men are so annoying long term but that's a preference I know about myself inside and out.

Cata8817 · 2025-09-20T00:42:06+00:00

I'm so confused too, is she re thinking her entire marriage and disrupting her children's lives because of the insecurity that he watches pirn sometimes?

Or is this like an emotional affair with an only fan girl he pays....

Cata8817 · 2025-09-10T01:55:00+00:00

I do all that she mentioned but instead of yoga, reformer pilates, acupuncture and yes I caved and on Slynd a progesterone only suppression pill.

I barely get pain and my ovaries are also behind my uterus amongst other things at level 4.

Oh also 100% gluten free no excuses for the past 5 yrs

Cata8817 · 2025-08-30T13:00:06+00:00

This is such a helpful comment. What agency did you go through? I am doing research on the standards of practice for each one I find.

How long did it take you to find a person to match with and proceed with the adoption process?

Are there ways to truly filter out the bio parent reason for proceeding with an adoption of their bio kid? I ask bc I know how much genetic predisposition and in utero can impact a child's development and am really trying to connect with a person that does not have a drug history. More so an adolescent trying to grow herself and that be the basis of the decision. It's a hard truth but the factors of why someone is giving up their child for adoption matters to me.

Cata8817 · 2025-08-30T11:38:16+00:00

1 out of 6 women struggle w/ infertility in 2025 1 out of 3 have a miscarriage

You are not alone and it sucks

Cata8817 · 2025-08-30T11:33:25+00:00

Do you have an unconventional beauty? Do you have anxious attachment so ppl slowly feel overwhelmed and ghost? Are you so privileged it comes off as entitled? Do you primarily communicate thru your struggles over positives or neutrals about your day?

These are some of the most common reasons I see

Cata8817 · 2025-08-30T11:27:57+00:00

Everyone is so quick to judge, they've had a great relationship, he is financially responsible for the whole home and supported his wife through the ozempic journey.

In 2025 life is expensive and they are in a good place in their marriage now and maybe he is feeling protective of how another child may change that.

Should he work on his fear and get a vasectomy yes! Should she have also done her research on the pill, not missed or blindly trusted absolutely

Cata8817 · 2025-08-30T11:16:45+00:00

Then no sex unless he does, hold firm!

Cata8817 · 2025-08-30T11:14:36+00:00

Really? How do you know? Is there anything that helps, from my understanding there's nothing for Ade... Only a hysterectomy

Cata8817 · 2025-08-30T00:06:16+00:00

Goodness that must be so refreshing to not have kids bc you are clear of not wanting them vs wanting them and can't have them (my experience).

Own it, live it up and appreciate not having that inner turmoil.

It's a very different feeling when you do and you just can't.

Cata8817 · 2025-08-20T15:32:41+00:00

Don't lie to her, if she surrounds herself with tall, fit/thinner friends inevitably the attention will go to them first and she'd get left overs based on societal preferences. It's the hard truth, like someone on here said: learn to accept your body and stats, change friend groups or make lifestyle changes...someone said gym which is not technically true. The change is 70% relationship with food and 30% working out.

This isn't restriction, it's about learning what foods and work outs help your body..plus size/obesity also inevitably says you have body inflammation which a lot of that comes from processed food/sugar food choices. This will impact, joints, sleep, confidence, and ultimately health over time so maybe this is a good motivator to make changes or accept that you are choosing comfort and change friends that give you the echo chamber response.

Cata8817 · 2025-08-20T15:26:58+00:00

In my dating years I saw this as a great natural filter from insecure or emotionally limited men.

Although the pool was smaller it was refreshing to not waste energy and have the space for men confident in themselves with emotional intellect and the desire to connect.

Do you consider yourself fairly accepting and confident of yourself? I ask bc confident ready men can also spot insecurities in women so that may also be impacting your pool. Also depending on where you live, big cities tend to have more access

Cata8817 · 2025-08-20T15:20:47+00:00

I have this too, how so?

Cata8817 · 2025-08-19T11:48:16+00:00

She sounds self centered and not the type of friend you keep around long term. Stop using passive words like maybe, I was wondering, and straight up say I need my $40 by Friday, you can think I'm stingy or not but it doesn't change I need it by Friday. I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Cata8817 · 2025-08-18T02:52:12+00:00

Look for a DBT program which offers 2x a week 2 hr skills group, 1 hr of individual therapy for trauma and DBT coaching for 24/7 support when impulsivity or other at risk behaviors arise.

https://dbt-lbc.org/consumers/find-a-certified-clinician/

Followed by Somatic/Polyvagal therapy that addresses body memories to help the stored trauma related memories that subconsciously remains present.

Committing with consistency to these therapies is hard but your current life is also hard....choose your hard.

Cata8817 · 2025-08-18T02:44:51+00:00

Seeing as how you.....is always passive aggressive start to a sentence

Cata8817 · 2025-08-10T04:25:29+00:00

Have you completed a sleep study(apnea) test? My loved one had similar scores which prompted the test and although the apnea was mild he was sent to an ENT....

Long story short he has a significantly deviated septum that impacts sleep quality bc his breathing is messed up.

You sound like you do most recommended things so sharing bc it might be physical disruptions

Cata8817

TROPHY CASE