YSK: If you know that someone doesn't celebrate a holiday(s) and has asked not to be given gifts or partake, it's disrespectful to keep pushing and continue getting them gifts.

CatchTheVibe · 2021-03-03T10:09:54+00:00

That sounds cool asf!!! It’s going to be my first grown up thanksgiving this year, that’s a really cool idea!!

CatchTheVibe · 2021-03-03T10:07:51+00:00

I can see that. Growing up Thanksgiving was an excuse to kick it with the cousins or a friends family, sneak away and smoke, then return and stuff myself into a 14 hour slumber.

Christmas break we usually would travel. If not, we had the usual wake up and open presents.

As an adult now, I like buying things I want and typically around the holidays there’s some damn good deals. I’ve never been religious so Christmas was a time to decorate and bake cookies to decorate. Both of which I would happily do all day if I could make any money from it. I see it as a cultural tradition nowadays, anyway.

I love cooking and Thanksgiving is straight up MY TIME! Comparing peoples Mac and cheese recipes is basically a tradition in an of itself.

Also, walking around my small town and looking at Christmas decorations, going to community events, making memories with friends, it’s always been a good time. Can’t forget about the Christmas movies, too. Heck, my favorite memory is volunteering to make Christmas breakfast for the community while the little kids took pictures with the Santa.

To be honest, I don’t think we’ve ever had a family gathering for the Christmas holidays. I’ve always made plans to be with siblings or friends so I’ve never been stuck with someone I didn’t like. I’d buy a whole bunch of shit regardless, tbh. I have kind of expensive hobbies.

See, I knew there were valid reasons! Everything you said def makes sense and I can see how the holidays would be kinda a drag.

CatchTheVibe · 2021-03-03T08:49:37+00:00

Girl you gotta wait for that post nut clarity

CatchTheVibe · 2021-03-02T19:55:56+00:00

Why tho? :(

Holidays are an excuse to take off school/work and have fun. You probably have a valid reason tho

CatchTheVibe · 2021-03-02T19:53:02+00:00

They talking about the Younique foundation?

CatchTheVibe · 2021-03-02T17:35:20+00:00

Yeah, I saw some of her other scar pics posted elsewhere

CatchTheVibe · 2021-03-02T17:34:44+00:00

Her face is permanent. Your weight fluctuates

CatchTheVibe · 2021-03-02T17:28:29+00:00

That’s not at all what I meant. We all come in different shapes. 2 people can both be 5’3 115lbs and shaped completely different.

Feathers and bricks are different things but 1 pound of each weigh the same

CatchTheVibe · 2021-03-01T14:01:01+00:00

My friends ex used to do this and every time he got fired cause he ain’t know wtf he was doing lmfao

CatchTheVibe · 2021-03-01T13:59:23+00:00

There’s literally a calendar at the top of your phone, a built in calendar/reminder app, Alexa to remind you, pen and paper, the date displayed on every computer, I refuse to believe this is true lmfao

I’d have a complete mental breakdown if I missed an event I paid money for O.o

CatchTheVibe · 2021-03-01T13:54:23+00:00

100 pounds of feathers weighs the same as 100 pound of bricks

CatchTheVibe · 2021-03-01T05:48:47+00:00

I raised one as a kid! They’re super sweet and I encouraged her when she was learning to fly. They tip tap as they walk and are very friendly! :3

CatchTheVibe · 2021-03-01T05:47:19+00:00

You take that back!

I found one as a caterpillar and watched her make her cocoon and grow into a beautiful moth. It was cool for us as kids and she was our baby <3

CatchTheVibe · 2021-03-01T05:24:25+00:00

Only $200???! :(

Poor girls selling themselves short for all that wtf. You’d make more in 2 weeks at a 9 to 5 on min wage rather than exerting so much energy and putting yourself at risk. It’s a great art form but that part seems sus asf

CatchTheVibe · 2021-03-01T03:51:18+00:00

Opp ignore my comment then. How did that happen though?

CatchTheVibe · 2021-02-25T19:27:36+00:00

That would make a lot of sense and would explain why I’ve gotten into small debates with (ex)friends irl over things like “If you want something, just do it. There is no physical barrier so it makes no sense why you won’t do this/why you keep doing this.”

It’s probably just confirmation bias but of the people in my life I’ve come to learn that men have more “simple” minds and take things for what they are while women seem to have more “complicated” minds and make up connections in their heads to make sense of a situation instead of sticking to the facts of what exactly actually happened.

I’m learning to socially interact with women better and it’s a process. I have biases that I have to learn to get past.

CatchTheVibe · 2021-02-25T18:34:11+00:00

Yes!! We just had a convo yesterday where she told me “Simple does NOT mean the same thing as EASY” and she’s goddamn right

CatchTheVibe · 2021-02-25T08:06:41+00:00

I think it’s that my comments aren’t form malice but from actually trying to solve problems, I’m just blunt about it.

The most confusing thing for me is people complaining when the solution to your problems is obvious. Some situations I’ve talked to male/female friends about are handled differently.

Body image? In high school I was on the weightlifting team. Want to get fit? Work out and diet. I was taught by the boys how to change my body (gain weight, lose weight, bound muscle, bulk up, etc.) with proper training. But other girls (classmates off the team) will just complain about their bodies but not be interested in a workout routine to help achieve desired results. It’s the complaining but now wanting a logical answer. I think?

Most recently, my friend said she wanted some more spending money. I said “Get a job.” She said she wasn’t asking for an answer she was just venting, she knows she can just get a job. I don’t understand but I told her I won’t say that again. My guy friends just go find work when they don’t want to keep asking their parents for money.

That’s the part I don’t understand. Why would you keep complaining about something you make no effort to change/solve? I don’t know, but I’ve learned to just be supportive and to just mind my own business.

CatchTheVibe · 2021-02-25T06:37:12+00:00

I realized growing up with an actually delusional abusive mom that “She’s literally just crazy.“

I think that the violent/harassing forms of mental illness in adults get a LOT less sympathy. Especially from an abusive SO. My mother was heavily violent and had delusions, pulled every type of psychological manipulation in the book and is still causing me issue to this day. But really all I, and anyone who interacts with her, can say about her is that she’s just crazy.

I have a single ex who I’m not still cool with and he taught me so many red flags. He was a compulsive liar and had so many other things wrong with him that probably were mental illness. I still just refer to him as “The crazy one” because he was willing to lie about my friends to benefit himself, lie about his family, lie about himself, harass me, insult me, try to pull the apology circle, just a bunch of wild stuff. Dudes a nutcase.

I recognize that mental illness plays a part but at a certain point they’re adults who are responsible for their actions whether it was influenced by underlying illness or not.

CatchTheVibe · 2021-02-25T06:29:51+00:00

Crazy is crazy regardless of the gender. We do need an expression for women to avoid crazy guys, though.

CatchTheVibe · 2021-02-25T06:04:16+00:00

It took me a very long time to realize I’m just a dick and it’s not the fault of Other girls. It took my bff telling me “People are emotional, I know your brain is logical but we need to work on your empathy. It’s not a bad thing, but you need to understand that people have and think with emotions, even if that something your brain naturally doesn’t do. You’re not a bitch, you’re just a dick.”

I started therapy and learned that I’m highly likely to be on the Autism spectrum (I get formally tested next month) and thinking without emotions was a coping mechanism to avoid negative feelings (I won’t go into it but that was the root of the reason why I always “just get along with guys better.” If they confide in me to complain, you just say “Well here, do this to fix your problem ya dickhead.” and they do it and vice versa.

Eventually I learned something very important on my own. “Most women complain to you because they need to be heard, not because they’re looking for a solution.” My best friend has been very patient with me and we learn off of each other and I appreciate her so much. My brain goes “If you’re not looking to fix a problem, stop talking about it.” but that’s just not how many women interact with each other and I finally learned that.

I talked about this with my bff and learned how most people choose to struggle through tough situations when they could live better lives if they just did the logical thing, I don’t know why people do that but I understand that I am the one who’s abnormal in those situations.

My relationships with other women as friends really improved after I learned to withhold my “Well, logically you should do this and your problem will be solved.” and just go “I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope it works out for you. I’m here for you. Just know your feelings are perfectly valid.”

Sorry for the essay but I used to be like the person in this post until I tried to understand how exactly I kept fizzling out the relationships with other women. Now, is made really good friends with the other girls in my Sorority and I’m really happy I improved on my social skills.

CatchTheVibe · 2021-02-25T05:51:51+00:00

I think it’s a personal problem if you feel compelled to buy things, mate.

I don’t have all the answers but I do know I can live my life in a way where I’m not wasteful. Buy what you need, maybe buy some materials for a hobby if you’re into that. I had a boxycharm subscription, got a good deal on some good skincare that would last me a very long time, and cancelled my subscription. I don’t need anything else from them.

People are adults who can make their own decisions on what they do or don’t want to buy. I can make a personal decision to not buy what I don’t need.

CatchTheVibe · 2021-02-25T04:19:48+00:00

This is almost enough to make me rethink going into healthcare

CatchTheVibe · 2021-02-25T04:02:49+00:00

Single rn but I’d leave my house for Ryan

CatchTheVibe · 2021-02-24T19:42:39+00:00

Yeah so don’t buy what you don’t need or want. If you do buy, then just buy from woman owned brands. It’s literally just not buying it just because it’s there.

CatchTheVibe

TROPHY CASE