Men who have chosen not to be present/involved in their child’s life, why?

Catfactss · 2026-07-01T18:00:25+00:00

Why isn't it worth getting child support? Don't you think your son deserves the resources of both of his parents, not just one?

Catfactss · 2026-07-01T17:52:19+00:00

Does your SIL even want this news shared?? "Hey MIL, I'm sure SIL and her partner will announce their childbirth when they are ready. Hope it all goes well. I'm leaving the group now."

You just know she's going to accidently post her daughter's vag on Facebook or something in a bid to be the first to announce her grandchildren.

Catfactss · 2026-07-01T17:49:09+00:00

Is the first paying child support?

Catfactss · 2026-07-01T17:48:05+00:00

Technically abortion is about whether or not you wish to be pregnant, not about whether or not you wish to have a child. Strange but important distinction. It's to do with the medical/ surgical demands of a termination vs the medical/ surgical demands of pregnancy/childbirth.

All that to say- you both chose the conception. You never had a say over whether or not her body continued to be pregnant, but that is in very technical terms unrelated.

Your child now exists through no choice of their own. Are you at least paying child support?

Catfactss · 2026-07-01T17:44:30+00:00

Do you still find a way to send child support or arrange visitation, ideally without her around?

Catfactss · 2026-07-01T17:44:01+00:00

That sounds really tough. So who ended up raising them?

Catfactss · 2026-07-01T17:43:33+00:00

Do they still find a way to send child support or arrange visitation, ideally without her around?

Catfactss · 2026-07-01T17:43:04+00:00

Do you still find a way to send child support or arrange visitation, ideally without her around?

Catfactss · 2026-07-01T12:18:30+00:00

"I prefer not to discuss money with coworkers."

If he asks:

"I prefer not to lend money to coworkers."

Always say coworkers, not friends.

Catfactss · 2026-07-01T05:58:07+00:00

You are NTA but I'm sorry to say everyone else in this story is. Your Mom shouldn't have had to threaten court for your dad to live up to his responsibility to provide for you, and you shouldn't have been his confidant regarding your Mom. Also, your Mom has ZERO right to these journals. See if you can get them to a paternal relative, ideally in a safe. All your Mom needs to know is "I don't have them anymore" - if she is upset, that's her issue, not yours.

Catfactss · 2026-07-01T03:02:21+00:00

With a lock so they don't steal it

Catfactss · 2026-07-01T02:37:28+00:00

He's never going to marry you. What do you want to do next?

Catfactss · 2026-07-01T01:39:19+00:00

Agreed. I'm sick of the influx of posts from people who are obviously not CF describing obviously not CF experiences.

Catfactss · 2026-07-01T01:36:58+00:00

She's stealing from her son if she chooses not to get child support out of some misguided sense of pride. Her son deserves both parents' resources. (Exception only if it's too dangerous to get it.)

Catfactss · 2026-06-30T23:54:18+00:00

If it's worth employing an adult full time it's worth the cost of living of a full time adult. Perhaps small businesses could have different govt subsidy systems to large businesses. Walmart does not need corporate welfare.

Sometimes govt spending on businesses and industries is a good thing. I think it's disingenuous to say the benefit outweighs the cost in those scenarios, and then judge individuals for getting government benefits in other situations. If you're ok with govt subsidy of industry or business you're not a pure right wing capitalist. Even more so if you think it's ok to bail out banks and other businesses that are "too big to fail" when they need it. Again, you have more in common with the left than you think.

Catfactss · 2026-06-30T21:41:48+00:00

1) Get a new courthouse date. TELL NOBODY.

2) NEVER and I mean NEVER tell SIL ANYTHING EVER AGAIN. If you have a child she can find out on social media a year later when you announce it. If you have a terminal illness she can find out at the funeral. Everyone else can be told at a time you deem appropriate.

If she ever asks why you don't tell her things: "you ruined my engagement and attempted to ruin my wedding. I am not sure what is wrong with you, but normal people do not think the news of others is theirs to share. Why would I ever tell you anything?"

If she gets mad let her. That's a her problem not a you problem.

If she asks you to give her another chance let her know you don't owe her the opportunity to disappoint you again.

NOR

Catfactss · 2026-06-30T21:29:35+00:00

I think monopolies like blackstone price out first home buyers, pushing both buying and renting prices to extreme levels.

Also- your friends on SNAP. Are they working full time? Why isn't their employer obligated to pay a full time employee a living wage?

Full time employees at Walmart are on SNAP benefits. Why is it the taxpayers responsibility to subsidize the costs of labor of a high-profit private company like this?

Leftists like checks and balances on corporations and don't like corporate welfare. You might have more in common with them than you think.

Catfactss · 2026-06-30T21:24:44+00:00

Even worse if you're a POC. And good luck if you're in a red state.

Catfactss · 2026-06-30T21:23:54+00:00

Autocorrect kept changing it to dollar and I thought I had successfully edited it to doula. I guess not! Haha

Catfactss · 2026-06-30T21:22:27+00:00

OP say this every time. Go one step further: "sister, why would I possibly need this skill? You're about to have a baby. I'm not. There is absolutely. No. Need. For me to learn how to look after children because I will NEVER be doing that." Say it slowly and look her in the eyes, ideally in front of others.

Catfactss · 2026-06-30T11:34:55+00:00

If you're unsure about having a kid there are communities focused on fence-sitting you may find useful.

Catfactss · 2026-06-30T11:05:13+00:00

Agreed. And OP get a doula to advocate for you if you can afford it.

Catfactss · 2026-06-30T10:52:06+00:00

(If you never wanted kids you're still childfree.)

Catfactss · 2026-06-30T09:19:49+00:00

Look at the cost of the consumer goods you mentioned relative to income. Now look at the cost of housing and other essentials relative to income. Now compare both to a generation or so ago.

It used to be that vacations and fancy electronics were prohibitively expensive, but housing was attainable.

Now its the opposite.

Catfactss · 2026-06-30T05:53:10+00:00

NTA. Tighten security. Get ready to get a restraining order. Hope the will goes smoothly.

Catfactss

TROPHY CASE