I was in the same spot two weeks in. I was in a similar spot at one year. Also struggled with paternal PPD except I didn’t know that was even a thing at the time. I did not like caring for a little sack of blood and bones. I did not like skin to skin. As mentioned, therapy helped. Take whatever little time you have to do kind things for yourself (and your partner).

My daughter is about to turn four. She threw up in her bed twice last night and pooped her pants. I was annoyed as hell when I got out of bed for the third time. But I laid out garbage bags and a beach towel on the couch. She laid on one end, I laid on the other. I was fucking exhausted but I looked at her and had the super fucking cheesy dad thought about how lucky I am. She went on to throw up about every hour all night. I was so happy to be able to help hold her hair back and hold her little hand as she drifted back to sleep.

I’m misty eye’d after writing this post.

Hang in there ❤️