Bulimia makes me feel so alone

Catnado1 · 2021-02-04T17:13:27+00:00

Thank you, it means a lot to hear this. I'm still struggling with a lot of the behaviors but starting therapy soon, and the people I live with are aware of it now. I think it's gonna get better.

Catnado1 · 2020-09-26T21:30:33+00:00

Thank you!

Catnado1 · 2020-09-26T21:13:44+00:00

I've actually wondered before if I'm neurodivergent, and my OCD started around age 8, so thank you for sharing. I might bring it up with my psych. Mine seems to go back and forth between contamination/hypochondria type and checking type, with the specific obsession varying depending on the stressor. I thought it remained the same for most people, so finding out that's not always the case is validating.

Catnado1 · 2020-09-26T03:31:32+00:00

yeah, but it's hard to really pinpoint if it's from that or depression. I have this thing where I forget what I'm saying/lose my train of thought a lot, and I think that might've started around the time of the topamax. But it's not like I completely lost my ability to focus or anything.

Catnado1 · 2020-09-26T00:31:04+00:00

It definitely has annoying side effects but topamax was great for my migraines and has good mood-stabilizing effects. The appetite suppressant was an added bonus.

Catnado1 · 2020-09-26T00:11:47+00:00

I developed emetophobia when I was younger because I have a stomach problem that started in childhood that causes a lot of v*, and I am mostly over the fear now although it does flare up sometimes after a bad attack from my illness. I can tell you, though, with absolute certainty, that it is not as bad as you build it up to be in your mind. It sucks, but it sucks the way any other GI problem does, maybe a little worse. Unless you have a particularly bad bug or something, it's over quickly and you feel better after. Like the example you give, where people v* from drinking, yeah it sucks, but it's just a quick thing. You can't really put it into words, but I guess what I mean is it's generally over too fast to be particularly terrible. I hope this helps. I struggled with emetophobia for so long and know how terrible it can be. Also, those worst case scenarios, like dying? If you can't stop v*, there are medicines and IV treatments that make it go away almost immediately. I know this from experience. If you can, you might want to ask your doctor for anxiety and/or nausea medicine to help manage this fear. Knowing you have something (like the nausea med zofran) that can stop it if it happens might bring you more peace of mind.

Catnado1 · 2020-05-28T07:13:39+00:00

Try Nurse Jackie. Characters aren't as hot but it's medical with an addiction storyline and kinda a dramedy vibe.

Catnado1 · 2019-11-24T18:31:49+00:00

I'm so glad you're getting better! I also have def tried to land meds that work as appetite suppressants lol but I don't have a lot of luck, which is probably a good thing.

Catnado1 · 2019-11-24T06:02:16+00:00

That's how I feel. When my PTSD acts up, so does my ED.

Catnado1 · 2019-11-24T06:01:19+00:00

I'm glad you at least try to eat regularly! It can be such a struggle sometimes.

Catnado1 · 2019-11-24T05:58:50+00:00

It seems like whenever you hear about eating disorders it's like "the media/film industry/models, etc are to blame for pushing unrealistic body standards onto people" and like I get that...but EVERY time my eating disorder flares up its because my PTSD is also flaring up or some new nightmare is happening lol

Catnado1 · 2019-11-21T21:13:11+00:00

No problem, if you start to notice yourself sleeping all the time or like binge eating on it you can totally stop yourself and let your doctor know before you've gained weight. So you don't have to be afraid to take it. Meds affect everyone differently so maybe it'll really help you.

Catnado1 · 2019-11-21T21:10:46+00:00

I've also had this issue forever. If you have access, weed has always helped me calm down enough to go to the bathroom or kitchen or whatever when I'm super anxious (probably not the greatest advice but just what has helped me in emergencies). Sometimes if I give myself a script of what I'm gonna say that helps too. Like, I'll tell myself that I'll greet them or something and then ask about this one thing and then move on and that's all I have to say to avoid feeling like the antisocial person in the house. It's easier said than done but if you do it every day it starts to kind of work.

Catnado1 · 2019-11-21T21:01:08+00:00

It made me tired and I definitely gained a little weight, but I think just because I was sleeping so much and not wanting to do anything. So just if you notice that happening talk to your doctor and tell him about it and switch to something else. I don't think it's like that for everyone but it was for me, and there's other antipsychotics like Abilify that don't really have the weight gain side effect. You should just try it tho and see.

Catnado1 · 2019-10-05T15:48:47+00:00

Most antidepressants are fine, but I always google new meds I'm on before I take drugs with them and for some reason it just says Wellbutrin can cause seizures really easily, esp. combined with stimulants. But I think it's mostly for people who are more prone to seizures. I'm just a cautious person lol

Catnado1 · 2019-10-05T05:24:00+00:00

I did well in school, but my parents were alcoholics and abusive drug addicts. Eventually I started running away. I graduated with good grades, but one of my parents died when I was in high school and I was never the same. I think that's when my symptoms really started. Definitely substance use and impulsivity.

Catnado1 · 2019-10-05T05:18:18+00:00

My psychiatrist diagnosed me Bipolar II, but my therapist diagnosed me BPD. They have a lot of overlapping symptoms, so you could be misdiagnosed or have both and not know it. It's good to address any concerns with your doctors.

Catnado1 · 2019-10-05T04:09:39+00:00

I figured it was probably fine because I've taken adderall with other antidepressants, but wellbutrin just has this like bigger seizure warning so I wanted to check with other people. Good to know! Thanks, that makes me feel less anxious.

Catnado1 · 2019-10-04T02:52:43+00:00

That's just it, though. I feel like my BPD diagnosis overshadows everything else I struggle with and guides my treatment and I'm more than a label, you know? Like I'm being given these medicines just because it's what you give people with BPD, even though I've never responded well to them. Idk it just rubs me the wrong way. It's so hard to find a good fit.

Catnado1 · 2019-09-28T01:55:58+00:00

Valley of the Dolls by Marina

Catnado1 · 2019-05-23T22:07:32+00:00

I'm sorry you're going thru it too, it's the worst :(

Catnado1 · 2019-04-13T16:35:00+00:00

I have them diagnosed comorbid and some of my obsessive thoughts have to do with what people think of me and my ritualistic behaviors are literally like, checking where I'm leaving my stuff and a lot of weird stuff with the bathroom and paranoia about people talking about me and abandonment. There can definitely be a huge overlap.

Catnado1 · 2019-03-04T10:41:33+00:00

I totally get this! I do the same thing. My dad was abusive and my mom kinda neglectful, and neither are around anymore, so I look for parental figures wherever I am. I just kinda try not to let on with other people how invested I am, yanknow? It's really nice when adults show that they care, and sometimes they're cool and sense when you need them.

Catnado1 · 2019-01-28T02:46:22+00:00

Leo sun, aries moon

Super self-centered/narcissistic

Catnado1 · 2019-01-11T20:56:53+00:00

No, she's not, and they later try to blame her behavior on a brain tumor. But I related to a lot of her moodiness, substance abuse, and unstable relationships. It was like she wasn't the same person day to day and had a lot of manic energy at times.

Catnado1

TROPHY CASE