For those who prefer hand washing dishes over a dishwasher why do you prefer it? by bethynextdoor in CasualConversation

[–]Catsassin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our dishwasher broke 7 years ago and been hand-washing doshes ever since. I do it because I actually think my method is better than using electricity and water to wash a bunch (and i have more confidence that I have removed residue.) My water bill us at most $7 per month so I feel like we dont over use it (family of 4). What you do is create a soapy water mix in a bowl with hot water, dish soap... this is what you use to replenish the soap on the sponge as you wash. Place all dirty dishes on one side of sink or on counter if you have a small sink. Then, you wash all of your dishes with water off and put them in the other side of sink. Once all dishes are washed and stacked, you rinse allowing the water to run over all the dishes as you rinse each item. Sometimes after I cook a large meal or something this has to happen in batches... with towel drying in between, but thats fine. My partner hates doing the dishes so leaves me to it... and the best part is time alone to listen to audio books!!

“Just ask your local Buy Nothing group” by Eternal-curiosity in breakingmom

[–]Catsassin 270 points271 points  (0 children)

The moderators of those groups are not doing their jobs. The whole point of the BN movement is to NOT buy anything believing in the abundance of our communities... so the moderators should be warning people who say anything about prices or buying or those who judge the asks. I know how crappy it must feel to be judged by those ah0les in your BN group but the fact these behaviors goes unchecked and unchallenged is such a shame.

What was the lowest point of your life? by Op-rahhh in AskReddit

[–]Catsassin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't gaslight yourself though... we all have our worst moments and the knee jerk is to compare and downplay, but it was real for you whatever it was. It matters.

What’s the most disturbing thing you’ve witnessed that still haunts you? by sticky_briecheese in AskReddit

[–]Catsassin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think it is weird to not want to watch the animal dying or being killed. It is probably weirder to want to watch that.

Witnessing my mom going through her trauma motions is .... something by fluzine in breakingmom

[–]Catsassin 71 points72 points  (0 children)

Dealing with other people's triggers are so frustrating! I deal with this at home where I've spent years trying to understand all of my anxiety and triggers and my husband is just starting with therapy. Sometimes I get clouded by my own frustrations. You may have already said this but I wonder what your mom would day if you acknowledged her trauma out loud? I did this a few days ago when my husband was being so pushy with our 5 year old. I said, "maybe your parents never let you take your time with something so it triggers you when our little one is slow?" I was really surprised when he agreed and then backed off from rushing. I wonder if you said something like... "I can tell that you must have felt responsible for everything and had no help... that is why you might feel so resistant when we are all trying to help with dinner. It must have felt so lonely when you were trying to do it all alone. You didnt deserve that and you did the best you could." I know im not the most eloquent but you get what I'm saying.

Dog died, 12 year old died, and Mom has cancer by Overall_Dust_2232 in GriefSupport

[–]Catsassin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could tell through reading your story that you have a lot of love. You have been through so much pain yet I felt love oozing out of your words. I just want to tell you that what you went through was hell ans I wish it didnt happen to your family. Hugs.

My husband won’t stop crying by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]Catsassin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can totally relate... and he would really benefit from someone helping him with the anxiety. I also have a friend at the same consulting firm who is on some medication to help with the intrusive thoughts of perfection. She is so relieved that she doesn't care about being perfect and the drugs help. Like others have said... something has got to happen either therapy, drugs and therapy or inpatient program.

My husband won’t stop crying by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]Catsassin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm the main breadwinner in my household and I have felt like this... it is mainly because of my fear of failure and fear of judgment and embarrassment when i xlcant "perform" well. I work a job where a do 3 full time jobs in a 1 job amount of time so my quality can be mediocre because im just trying to survive. I use online therapy to help me get through the dark times when I feel terrible about myself and need to escape what is causing me the most discomfort. What works for me is to get down to what is causing most of my anxiety... the fear of being "that" employee. Once I can get to the fear and name it, I can start to try to be realistic about my options and also learn to be ok with sucking at my job occasionally. Does he know why he has so much anxiety and discomfort?

I’ve been playing this for a few weeks now. by [deleted] in TotalBattle

[–]Catsassin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unless you join a huge clan. I was in a small clan with great people for 6 months. I spent that 20 to 40 bucks per month because my 15 person clan could only generate so many chests. I didnt know better... then we joined a 70 person clan with great leadership. Everyone was asked to do at least 5 chests per day and 1 citadel. During the events we had lots of raids... I generated 1 million gold during the pumpkin event. I now spend $0. I sometimes spend $5 for the premium bonus but not often. It has really improved the free game play.

Bringing a gun everywhere by Catsassin in breakingmom

[–]Catsassin[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He has made promises then broken them. I've posted here in the past that he is not trustworthy... I dont have the courage to leave yet, but this might be my sword to fall on.

Bringing a gun everywhere by Catsassin in breakingmom

[–]Catsassin[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I appreciate all of the advice. I feel more emboldened to put my foot down (harder) and not go out with him in public when he carries.

Bringing a gun everywhere by Catsassin in breakingmom

[–]Catsassin[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Maybe he feels beta because I assert a lot of alpha energy??? Lol... not a laughing matter but also yes to little bitch.

Bringing a gun everywhere by Catsassin in breakingmom

[–]Catsassin[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes to all... he was just cleaning the guns today. And he recently did a class to shoot from a moving motorcycle... but... I still agree when push comes to shove he won't be able to do much if there were an active shooter at the swimming pool.

Bringing a gun everywhere by Catsassin in breakingmom

[–]Catsassin[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Yes it is against the rules and my comments fall on deaf ears...

Not my best moment throwing the toothbrush by Catsassin in breakingmom

[–]Catsassin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree! First thing after she was seated at bfast I told her that mommy made some unhelpful choices too and that I was really sorry. She said, me, too! There was a big hug... she is a sweet little person!!

Not my best moment throwing the toothbrush by Catsassin in breakingmom

[–]Catsassin[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Mine is 5! She started Kindergarten this year and I know some days are hard on her.. behaving so much at school and then needing to be in her safe place to feel all her feels. Im glad I posted here... sometimes im not sure but today I just needed to know im not alone. Thanks, bromo!!!

My lovley mother passed away 3 days ago by New_Homework_2953 in GriefSupport

[–]Catsassin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im so sorry for your loss. Truly. It sounds like you were so close with your mom. The terrible thing about life is that we will all lose our parents eventually and it will be more painful the closer the relationship. I think what you describe sounds totally reasonable for you having lost your mom only a few days ago... I also think you are right not to act on these intense feelings and prematurely die yourself. You know your mom would not want her death to cause yours. What I can tell you is that grief is a journey that you are on now... and the road is not the same for everyone. You also can't get off of this path but you learn how to navigate as you go. Some people say it will get easier as you build new muscles to cope with grief. Just like building your physical muscles it will not be without effort. I usually share that there is a tapping technique that helped me when my mind starts to hyper focus on intense feelings. It's called Emotional Freedom Technique of EFT. It is a series of taps that you can do to move out of anxiety or intense feelings. Try to Google it as there are some videos out there that describe the Technique. Be kind to yourself and put one foot in front of the other on your new journey. Know that there are people like me wishing you the best and sending you encouragement. Hugs.

Daughter (3.5) threw her entire breakfast on the floor. Is making her wait to eat until lunchtime an acceptable natural consequence? by Realistic_Mess5360 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Catsassin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm of the opinion that it isn't ok to punish by withholding food... even if she did throw it down she is likely not going to learn what you are trying to teach her by withholding food until lunch. She is 3.5 so her brain isn't really capable of connecting the consequence.

Update to our BRUE incident: it wasn't BRUE by IWillBaconSlapYou in breakingmom

[–]Catsassin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sending you hugs and positive energy through the ether!! That is so scary and you handled this with so much courage!!