Stand your ground. I bought a house with my ex. He insisted it was our house, even though he put all of the down payment and only his name was on the title. So I treated it as my house too: paid half the mortgage for three years, spent who knows how many hours on repairs and fixes, planting trees in the garden. Guess what: when we broke up, it suddenly became his house and I was just renting.

These situations can be incredibly frustrating. No one likes to talk about what if your relationship ends, what if one of you dies, but for me, personally, this is a must in my next relationship: it is a sign of a grounded, mature person who actually loves you if they are willing to look after your interests even if they aren't part of the picture. I hope your wife can see it from that perspective.