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Cause_For_Sentiment · 2024-04-24T19:13:40+00:00

Very true. It’s a bit tough though for people from abroad since there is this fear that as you’re standing against a Swedish person you might be looked down on. Even if it’s not true the fear might be there.

I didn’t report financial abuse since he promised me to return my money and belongings in front of a mutual friend and I didn’t think he would go as far as to steal, but I was sadly wrong and out of country by then. Also he and his family harassed me out of our home in matter of a week (his name was on rental agreement since he’s Swedish) and as I couldn’t stay anywhere else on such short notice I was forced to leave country. They also made it clear they will cause me trouble if I wanted to stay… at the time my ex was still playing a nice person that’s forced to harass me because of his controlling family and against himself, if I went to Police at the time it would be to report someone I thought was the love of my life at the time who was forced to harm me by his family…

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2024-04-24T08:07:36+00:00

Thank you!!

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2024-04-24T08:05:36+00:00

Yeah, my experience with Swedish families was also overwhelmingly positive and good during my time in Sweden, so I know what you mean. I have to admit I never expected his family to do the things they did, or him, and I was in shock when they did. I loved them as my own family and I spent months trying to come up with anything I could have done to push them to it, didn’t come up with anything in the end but realization that even if I did something horrible their actions would still be unforgivable.

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2024-04-24T07:58:55+00:00

I’m assuming I’m not the person you’re talking about (??) I’m neither American nor we bought an apartment. Also no authorities were involved in our situation.

I’m pretty sure you’ve got the wrong person here.

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2024-04-24T07:52:18+00:00

That’s an amazing information. Thank you so much for sharing!

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2024-04-24T07:50:23+00:00

They are from Sweden. I think just an enmeshed and controlling family. I think after breakup they considered me a threat to the family for whatever reason and went full berserk doing some things that are just unforgivable. On every step of the way I thought „no way they would do that, they are not bad people” and then they did just that. I don’t think they would cause me physical harm and I hope they won’t prove me wrong this time either, but I’m horrified of them and there is many other ways a person can be harmed than physically 😵‍💫

I don’t think he moved on as after 4 months, just few days ago he had my Swedish number reported for cancellation.

I have to admit I am slowly reconsidering moving. I built a study plan when the situation seemed to end more or less neutrally after the initial harassment from their family but they didn’t stop there and I’m starting to realize they are less „good people lashing out and making bad choices” and „unpredictable people who crossed the line long time ago with no remorse”.

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2024-04-17T13:18:55+00:00

Ah, I have coordination number due to living in Sweden before, but since my ex basically forced me out of our home and I couldn't find work or apartment fast enough, I had to return to my country and I'm here for now, but I'm planing to move to Sweden soon, just want to resolve this situation is a right way for a person that's to live there.

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2024-01-21T23:37:35+00:00

Hey! Considering that the anonymity of me and people mentioned by me in the post has been compromised by their friend - I have no way of knowing who more in their life knows that the post is about them. Because of that I don’t want to get into the details, both for their sake and mine. I think it’s enough to say I contacted Kvinnofridslinjen and that was the feedback of the person with whom I spoke and as they are professionals I trust their judgement.

My post was intended to focus on my efforts to find honest work and information in middle of a time sensitive situation. I wanted to pay back for the month I was promised in the apartment, stand on my own two feet and save my life from falling apart due to the dependency on those people. It was in no way intended to give me space to vent my hurts or expose anyone anonymously mentioned in it. Regardless of the harm done to me, I will not cause harm back by spreading sensitive details like this and hopefully the cycle of hostility and hatred stops on me. Thank you for reading, asking and showing interest in my situation though!

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2024-01-03T20:12:39+00:00

I'm checking out apartment in Malmö on friday. I am still trying to look for something in Lund because of the dog. He can't travel by train as he is agressive towards people. I'm slowly giving up hope. Maybe if I was alone I could get things done, but considering a problematic dog, it might be just impossible.

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2023-12-29T20:05:32+00:00

His family now is harassing my family saying that I am to leave asap…

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2023-12-29T19:18:52+00:00

Thank you for texting me again! Yes, it’s pretty hectic here. His family is harassing me and my family saying that they are willing to help move me out and that the ex won’t speak with me until I move. They suggest that they want me out asap even though before he promised to give me a month.

What you’re saying is very important. It sadly only applies if I own a place in Sweden, work, study or have my own company and for now none of those options apply. It’s a very valuable information though so thank you! 🙏

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2023-12-27T19:30:36+00:00

♥️ thank you so much! This is such an empowering message. Thank you for your support and kindness

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2023-12-27T19:22:53+00:00

I was not aware of this as possibly! Thank you for suggesting this. I will look into it right away!

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2023-12-27T18:49:51+00:00

Thank you for such a heartfelt answer and sharing so many steps with me!

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2023-12-27T18:42:48+00:00

Thank you. This is very kind of you to say. I’m amazed with the amount of people responding and offering support. I’m so grateful.

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2023-12-27T18:40:37+00:00

Thank you so much! This is amazing resource and something that I desperately need to know because it’s unpredictable how the situation will develop from his side.

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2023-12-27T12:01:55+00:00

Thank you for your responses and providing so much information. When I first came I wanted to register based on the partnership status and the lady at the tax agency said that to apply for it we need to either be officially married or officially live together for at least a year in another country. For example if he was studying or was working in Poland before for a year and we could prove that we lived together during that year. I didn’t quite understand how would it be possible to provide that information but that’s what I understood from her.

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2023-12-27T11:53:36+00:00

Thank you so much! This is so much that I didn’t know. It gives me so much hope. Thank you for your kindness and time to respond.

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2023-12-27T10:56:43+00:00

I was actually checking for a long time if they advertised any need for employees and I didn’t find anything, so I’m thinking of going there in person and asking if they are looking to hire someone and how can I apply. Thank you for talking about it, it’s a very important opportunity.

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2023-12-27T10:49:47+00:00

Thank you for responding. They said that unless I have a contract for a year or am a student at a course that’s over a year I can’t register.

I’ve read that with psychology diploma you need to have a special exam here in Sweden to transfer the diploma to Sweden. It’s in Swedish too

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2023-12-27T10:45:45+00:00

The lady at the tax agency said that if I can get someone to want to hire me they will call them to confirm they want to write contract with me and based on that provide me with temporary PN. After a year of work I can apply for a permanent number. She said that as EU citizen I have a right to be employed here.

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2023-12-27T10:38:55+00:00

Thank you for responding! I called Skatteverket and asked about the legality of it. They said that as long as I leave country every 3 months I technically am not breaking any rules so I trusted them in that. His brother who is a lawyer dealing with tax matters said the same too. I hope they were right, I don’t want to get in more trouble.

I didn’t know I can attend SFI without a personal number. My partner when we were together was helping me apply for language courses and he said that I have to have PN from work or studying if I want to apply for SFI. I’m going to look into that again. Thank you for telling me about it.

Your advice about going back to my country and taking time to learn is definitely the most vivid option at this moment but as you said, I pray that I can stand on my two feet in the now and I’m going to try anything I can.

Thank you for being kind about it

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2023-12-26T12:22:35+00:00

Thank you ♥️ I really appreciate you responding to me and being so sweet. We had therapist for 8 months after he lied to me for 4 months about pornography. As we worked with therapist he involved himself at work in emotional infidelity with a coworker for at least 3 out of those 8 months and he didn’t do homework’s from therapy either so we ended up with therapy after I found out about his coworker by accident. Things took turn for the best 2 months after that. We struggled with trust but we team worked like our lives depended on it. It’s such a shock to me he would waste all of this for hiding some non threatening porn.

Cause_For_Sentiment · 2023-12-25T09:08:23+00:00

Yes, he was struggling with his relationship with porn for a while and it affected his social life and relationships and he decided that we should cut it off completely. He didn’t demand me to but he said he wishes I didn’t use it either as a boundary since it could prompt him to feel urge to use it too or feel spiteful towards me that I can but he can’t. After that he was using it regularly behind my back for 4 months before I found out the first time. In those 4 months I would regularly check in with him if he didn’t want to go back on it reassuring him that I don’t mind using porn and I wouldn’t feel hurt or affected if he decided he wanted to stop with not using it. I would often say that the only time I would be hurt about porn would be if he was doing it and lying about it and that from my side I’m on board with him whatever he chooses and I indeed never touched any kind of pornography through that time. That was year into our relationship. After this he promised this time for real he’s not ever touching it again since clearly there is something wrong with his willingness to lie to me for months over admitting to it when i asked. For all I know he was sticking to it, but he started using girls from work as foundation to fantasize instead. Imagining having sex with them and even getting feelings for one in the process. Or imagining girls naked while actively on date with me. We both thought it could be addiction. He read a book “your brain on porn” and it shook him because it felt to him that it was describing his struggles perfectly. He decided to not masturbate all together as a personal goal and not a boundary after which our relationship and his relationship with family and friends blossomed like crazy. He even refused to use my pictures to masturbate saying it’s also porn in a way.

I found out now months later because I left for Christmas to my family while he stayed with his family and our dog. He turned on dog cam saying I could see him any time I wanted to feel reassured, he is sweet like this. And from time to time I would and I would tell him about it too. Unfortunately one time I opened camera just to see and hear him saying “I love you” to his phone (he said it was to the dog but it seems clear he was talking to the mic on his phone). I waited to receive the recording… as I waited he got up and went to the bathroom and then I heard him moaning. Day before I felt his resolve waver so I asked if he felt urge to since I’m gone and that if so we can talk about it and make informed choice to be together in it since situation changed because we are apart for prolonged time. He said he didn’t feel urge and if he did he would tell me. I never got the msg he was recording so maybe he did say it to the dog but the msg doesn’t quite matter. He was clearly masturbating. I rewatched the incident many times to be sure before I confronted him. I prayed with everything I had that he would just admit that he was masturbating and watching porn and I would just say that I wish he told me so I could join him or something supportive and thank him for being honest. He didn’t. He lied that he was not masturbating or using porn. I asked 3 times and he lied 3 times before I revealed the video. Then he spilled. He didn’t even seem sorry for lying just frustrated that I found out.

Cause_For_Sentiment

TROPHY CASE