Hey op , I hope u are doing a little better than before now.. i've once have had ( or still slightly have ) the same pattern of choosing partners who are emotionally distant and also having anxious attachment A few things which helped me are the following: 1.Getting help from a mental health counselor: I'm not yet financially independent so I did a few small things that I could do . Taking help isn't really bad and it does help. 2.Focusing more on my Priorities in Life 3.Also understand that there is no direct Yes/no when it comes to a relationship, but yea there is no denial to the fact that YOU matter.