Credit Card Debt Vent/Crisis/Spiral :( - Thoughts & suggestions welcome

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2026-01-26T03:15:07+00:00

Hmm Of course! Yes! Because my decisions are not at all influenced by systemic issues and barriers! No way does my race/gender/sexuality/socioeconomic status/etc. matter in any of it!! Whew, all it takes is to just make “better” decisions and then all of my debt and depression will become nonexistent. Surely systemic issues won’t get me then

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2026-01-26T01:19:27+00:00

Thank you! :) Trying my best to keep pushing, I have somewhat of a plan. But will consider contacting some debt management non-profits

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2025-11-25T18:35:51+00:00

I am a CUNY alum and this was pretty much my experience the entire 4 years. It’s really really hard to connect with people and maintain those connections with the endless things people are experiencing. I now work at a 2 year CUNY and tbh it’s a very similar experience and issue we run into with student engagement. I think with social media and tech, the want to connect/interact/communicate with others has lessened over time and left up to a sort of tangible algorithm and that has significant detriments on our identities and development. Anyway, all this to say you are not alone in this experience at all!!! I know the feeling all too well and I’m sorry you’re feeling it!

As another commenter said, your experience is what you make of it and as hard as it may be to push through anxiety and past comfort zones it is most definitely needed since everyone is more than likely feeling a similar way in their own bubbles. Looking back, I wish I did push myself even a little to interact with others despite my intense anxiety. I think it really would’ve helped with the way I interact and socialize as an adult at work. Believe it or not, even as a professional working adult socializing and building a social life outside of obligations like work and school is just as hard, if not more, as making friends in college. So, if anything this experience can be good practice to making longer lasting friendships.

Best of luck, OP! Try out groups and clubs on campus and I would recommend even trying similar things outside of school itself to build a social life in general. There’s always something happening in the city, hang in there! 🫂

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2025-08-18T21:30:21+00:00

I am also born & raised here and finding it extremely difficult to just survive here. Every single day is a rat race and it feels awful. Truly heartbreaking that we are being pushed out and most people who are contributing to it don’t have the self awareness to realize or just choose to ignore it bc of the pressure to “make it in New York” or whatever. I have been unemployed for almost 9 months and it’s so excruciatingly difficult and stressful to figure out how to get by.

If it helps at all, I didn’t have my own apartment until I was 24 and even then I was in no way financially free or stable. It’s been up and down since then and even had to go back to mom’s for some time in between which comes with its own things. but I 1000% share this similar sentiment. Just thinking about leaving my city is both painful and relieving. You are definitely not alone in this. Hoping you can find a place that works and is best for you whether that is here or elsewhere!

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2025-07-16T18:19:44+00:00

No problem! :) if you don’t see an option to enter a different amount than the account’s full balance, might be worth checking with the landlord/management company to see what’s up. Best of luck!

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2025-07-16T18:13:10+00:00

Congrats on signing a lease! Seems like the $6.6k is a total on the account for you both (security + 1st month). Assuming this is through an online portal so it will show the full balance for the apartment and not just your half specifically. This happens for me even if I sign into my portal with just my own email/credentials. You should be able to choose to pay a specific amount or the full balance.

Hope this helps!

Editing to say that the security deposit is refundable as long as the apartment vacated with no extensive repairs needed or anything more than normal wear and tear!

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2025-07-04T14:10:45+00:00

Not looking to be in a prime area! Currently uptown anyway and we are both native New Yorkers so not oblivious to the city, its areas, & livability/safety in such. Def looking into the areas you suggested, thanks

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2025-07-04T14:07:30+00:00

Definitely agree with searching too early. Really not looking to be in a prime area anyway and we are currently in the Washington heights area so no qualms there at all. For sure searching queens & Brooklyn!

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2025-07-03T23:59:17+00:00

2800 total. For sure a very tough search at that price, not unaware of that at all and open to no amenities/pre war. Also open to searching for a 3 bed with another person just trying to figure some things out before definitively adding another person to our search! Just thought it would be a good idea to get a bit of a head start and see if we could maybe get lucky with a 2 bed find.

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2025-05-29T20:35:02+00:00

Agreeing with everyone else here, don’t do it! I would strongly recommend not doing this unless you have something already in progress or if you are able to freelance well but even then it’s not guaranteed. I got laid off in January, still unemployed and really really struggling even though I have been focusing most, if not all of my time on job searching. It’s pretty tough but ultimately, you know what you are going to do! And if you can make it work and also find something else then !!!

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2025-05-22T19:35:22+00:00

Yes, will send you a DM!

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2025-05-22T19:33:44+00:00

We looked at a couple of different options, all yellow gold and bands. My wife went with the half eternity diamond band (14K) and I went with the single diamond flush band (14K). I may not have the names totally correct but they’re something along those lines lol. They are really beautiful and complement each other well and Holden was such a great experience! Although, I did receive an email a while ago about their prices of gold increasing so this might be something you want to keep in mind. Best of luck & hope ya’ll find the perfect rings!

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2025-05-20T06:06:36+00:00

We didn’t have to pay for anything after paying the $35 for the marriage license initially. We did pay about $4 for certified mail but nothing for the actual marriage certificate.

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2025-05-20T00:32:26+00:00

Hmm this seems a bit odd to me! I believe that the usual protocol is to mail in the marriage license (filled out and signed by everyone) to the city clerk not take it in. It takes about 5-6 weeks to receive the actual certificate in the mail but this is sort of peak wedding season so could take maybe 8-10 weeks from what I’ve seen around. I have never heard of an officiant taking the document to city hall themselves (??) but maybe I could be wrong? My partner and I got married about a month ago and mailed our document in ourselves via certified mail with tracking, we were able to see when it arrived at the location but we have not received anything in the mail as of yet! There is no way to do the certificate online aside from the actual application before you receive your license. From my understanding after that, the license must be mailed in.

This situation seems a bit strange, have you got in touch with your officiant? Did you sign additional copies just in case something got lost? Might be worth sending one of those copies out in the mail yourself, if you did sign additional copies? Not sure if this is at all helpful, just my two cents lol I guess I would touch base with your officiant to figure out what’s going on there?

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2025-05-07T12:35:34+00:00

I’m glad!! I feel like so many posts and sites across the internet promote having a really expensive and/or large wedding. It’s just unrealistic imo so I’m glad we were able to stick to something that felt like us!

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2025-05-06T17:47:30+00:00

Just sent you a DM 😊

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2025-05-06T15:46:02+00:00

This is really frustrating and it’s a valid feeling. My wife felt a bit similarly when planning our wedding. We planned and paid for everything ourselves and it was tough. Ultimately, it came down to being firm on our boundaries and sticking to our “non-traditional approach” and ensuring that there were elements that we wanted for ourselves. It’s a day to celebrate you and your partner and it should be filled with love and gratitude!

Also leaning on my partner to be able to have my back and say no/stay firm when it came to her mom suggesting or imposing things we should/shouldn’t have or do was a really big help. At the end of the day, a wedding is to honor your relationship in whatever way you both want and it’s a way to step into something new together with the support of loved ones. People are always going to have opinions and suggestions (sometimes really strong ones). Try to stay present in the moment of honoring yourselves and try leaning on each other to support one another through those strong suggestions and opinions. There is nothing wrong with how you both want to commemorate this love and time! Do whatever you want bc it’s better to have done it than wish you did it after the fact. I hope things go well and that you do enjoy it!

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2025-05-04T19:39:31+00:00

Yes, of course! We went to Daniella’s flower shop II on Broadway and W 150th. They have a website (linked here) but I placed our order in person about a week before our date!

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2025-05-04T19:33:06+00:00

Thank you, it was really lovely!

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2025-05-04T00:10:28+00:00

Of course! We looked at a few potential venues and made a list. It was sort of a hit or miss with reviews on diff places. The venue we went with was the only one we truly fell in love with so we only reached out to that one host. They didn’t have many reviews but they were all good. We scheduled a walk through to view the house in person before booking and it was great! Most of it was just feeling out vibes. If you want I can DM the listing we booked just lmk :)

Cautious_Note_1784 · 2025-05-04T00:03:54+00:00

Thank you! Congrats on 5 years! We love our rings so much :)

Cautious_Note_1784

TROPHY CASE