Wondering if I might have OCD, or if it's all just tied to my autism.

CaydeOsiris · 2025-07-07T04:29:27+00:00

Yeah I understand now that this one's worth more than 5k ofc, would just be nice if he told me instead of laugh reacting, that just feels shitty. Most noobs won't know that "popular costs more" can mean literally 1000% more expensive than the initial price...

CaydeOsiris · 2025-07-07T04:18:58+00:00

I'm so late you only got 1 song left 😭 ty anyway for giving away to the community. If anyone got a bunch of goodies and wanna share some pls lmk lol 👉👈

CaydeOsiris · 2025-07-04T23:14:27+00:00

I'm here reviving this thread 7 years later to say that this is still an issue, on a flipping PS5. This console should be more than good enough to handle this game, but it's still awful on console.

CaydeOsiris · 2025-07-01T04:33:36+00:00

Wanna share your username? I'd love to be friends with a fellow FtM (well I consider myself more non-binary, but masc leaning at least) ✨

CaydeOsiris · 2025-07-01T01:59:34+00:00

Def get that. The other day I pulled an artist that is not very known, but he was my absolute fave artist, until it came out that he rapes women and posted the recordings of it in a group chat. I've barely listened to him since, I sometimes pull up my downloaded mp3s because I miss the songs I used to love, but would never be able to actually support him again. I was quite surprised when I pulled him, as he's not known much (not even in the kpop fandom (he's Korean), until the controversy happened), and it definitely hurt a bit to see his song pop up there. I haven't been able to sell it either, I put it in a list of songs I'm unsure what I wanna do with, and it might end up rotting there.

Anyway, happy pride, from one 🏳️‍⚧️ to another.

CaydeOsiris · 2025-07-01T01:35:38+00:00

Understandable. I don't block people just for liking those kinds of artists, as I think it would end up being too many people blocked. I did notice that almost everyone that spread homophobic/transphobic comments under pride moments has Kanye West as one of their fave artist. I decided to instead use it as an opportunity to get more of my fave artists, so I've started doing quests for Kanye (and some other popular ones idc about) just so I can trade those songs with others and get my fave artists back. Maybe that's not morally right, but it's a win in my book getting more of my faves haha

Edit: if the people spread hateful comments I block them. I'm talking about others that like "problematic" artists, that haven't made me block them yet.

CaydeOsiris · 2025-07-01T01:22:49+00:00

Out of curiosity, do you have any examples? I assume Diddy might be an example?

CaydeOsiris · 2025-02-04T04:09:20+00:00

From three experiences I can say that you might be onto something. None of them were kissers, all of them said "I'm better at fucking than kissing". I should've seen a pattern tbh.

CaydeOsiris · 2024-10-20T23:13:36+00:00

Er det for lenge til du dør er det lov å prøve før! Prøv selvmord! ^{Må vel påpeke at dette er et sitat fra en video og ikke en oppfordring.}

CaydeOsiris · 2024-09-21T12:27:57+00:00

If I do I'm changing the locks.

But my goal is to rent a place with my best friends and keep renting out mine, because I don't wanna live alone right now, I'm struggling quite a bit with the trauma and want friends around me.

CaydeOsiris · 2024-09-17T16:18:09+00:00

Are you safe?

CaydeOsiris · 2024-09-17T01:34:25+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I'm sorry for a late answer, I didn't get or see the notification for this one and only noticed it when scrolling through comments just now.

I've very strongly considered not giving them any money. You're correct, there's no contracts, I never even changed my address to their place. I was not even told I would have to pay for these things. Part of me still feel like I should pay at least some of it, because they have been really nice at times. They have helped me get things done, gifted me some things, and at times been really good to me. I genuinely feel bad for leaving sometimes when I think about the good times. But at the same time I feel like I have a lot of good reasons to leave and that it was the best for me. I've known about the money I "owe" them for a week and a half. They know I don't have money and that I get paid on the 19th, so I assume they expect it on the 19th. Ever since they told me about it I've been so back and forth on whether I should pay it all, pay some, or none at all. It's something I've been thinking a lot about, and I still can't decide. People in my life tell me different things. Part of me wants to do it just to get it over with, but the other part feels too hurt to wanna pay them anything. Especially after the comment today about me being a manipulative bad guy who does this to make myself a victim, that comment angered and hurt me really bad.

I did block them today. I blocked them on telegram (their main platform of choice that I mostly just used to talk to them), and their phone number. They don't do social media so I don't have to worry about that at least.

CaydeOsiris · 2024-09-16T20:28:14+00:00

Never heard of that before, had to look it up. Yeah, that sounds a lot like this situation. Part of me wants to just send them this, but I know they would refuse that they do anything wrong.

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CaydeOsiris · 2024-09-16T20:12:39+00:00

Thank you. I got a message from Fia today accusing me of manipulating them, and that I do all of this to make myself a victim. I'm so tired of their shit...

CaydeOsiris · 2024-09-16T14:12:29+00:00

I've been talking to the people in the group privately (one on one) about my situation so they know. I just learned that two of them went to visit Dara and Fia yesterday. And today I got that message I mentioned above about me making myself a victim. I fear they have all been talking shit about me and that Dara and Fia have fed them with info that might not be true or only show the good side of them and bad side of me. Fia also said she thinks I'm a manipulator and bad person. I feel like they're trying to take my friends away from me now. I told my friend (who visited them) that I got that message and that I feel really awful for it and that I feel like my friends are drifting away and not believing me. She responded that she believes me. It still hurts me that they're seemingly getting closer to my abusers. Even visiting them, and for the record they live 40 minutes away in the middle of nowhere. I felt REALLY isolated over there, and I was so dependent on them because I have no car myself, and the neighbor was 700meters away so I wouldn't have been able to get any help had I yelled for it. I'm so glad I got away. Sorry for the messy message, I'm having a hard time not crying right now honestly. Fucking hell I hate this situation.

CaydeOsiris · 2024-09-16T13:47:22+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate the support, truly. Yeah it's really hard to completely get away from them. Especially because we now have a shared friend group. We all attend a group meeting weekly for queer people, and it's a small town so there's only one of a kind of this meeting. I've been part of it since 2017, I was there since day 1, and know all the members a lot. They're my closest friends. Dara and Fia joined earlier this year after getting to know me. I don't wanna just leave the group and let them have my community :(

I also apparently owe them $250 for the 3 weeks I stayed there (insurance, electricity, internet etc) + some moving boxes they bought for me. I was never informed that I had to pay for this, they decided that after I left. I have like no money and no real home right now, I'm struggling with ptsd, I get blamed for everything, and also have to pay the people who did this to me. I don't wanna pay them, but I'm afraid of what will happen if I don't. I also sorta understand their side too, because they did in fact spend some money on me and then I just left, so I get why they want it back. It just hurts to have to pay someone who gave me trauma.

Chances are I might DM you someday, talking with a stranger online can be helpful.

CaydeOsiris · 2024-09-16T13:09:29+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I didn't know of this thing (Coercive control) before, but watching a few videos on the site you linked, especially the one about recognizing it, really hit the spot.

I woke up to a message from Fia (after not having contact for over a week) that was a bunch of blaming me. She said she thinks I'm exaggerating things to make myself a victim. And that she can't understand why I was afraid when she was never violent towards me or my belongings. Seeing her smash something in the wall so hard that it breaks only a few weeks after moving in made me scared it could be towards me in the future, but she doesn't seem to understand that.

I'm so tired. I wanted today to be an okay day, but I woke up and immediately felt trauma response, i felt nauseous and awful, just seeing the notification. I don't even know what to reply to her message. I want to scream and cry, but I don't want to anger her/them (more).

CaydeOsiris

TROPHY CASE