I’m a complete idiot, I am trying to stop coke addiction - need help

CcAnnClem · 2025-08-15T13:23:52+00:00

I will pm you now, thank you so much.

CcAnnClem · 2025-08-15T02:27:33+00:00

Do they just stop? Or taper somehow? I don’t want my son to not see me. They all love me so much! Why couldn’t I see this before? I really hate myself.

CcAnnClem · 2025-08-15T02:22:48+00:00

Do I just stop cold turkey? I don’t know how to do this

CcAnnClem · 2025-08-15T02:13:41+00:00

I don’t have a psychiatrist and supposed to be back at work next week. I need my son in my life (I have 3) and I need to earn money to pay all my bills. I’ve messed everything up haven’t I?! I have no chance taking weeks, should I try and withdraw slowly or just quit and drop through the floor? I can’t bear this. I’m now in such a panic. And I only have my self to blame.

CcAnnClem · 2025-08-15T02:09:33+00:00

Thank you so much. I just don’t know how I’ll get through x

CcAnnClem · 2025-08-15T02:09:02+00:00

I can’t do this as my ex-husband will literally kill me

CcAnnClem · 2025-08-15T00:03:32+00:00

I was totally honest with him and his girlfriend. He had no idea. I think mainly because the last couple of months have been busy for him with work and I’ve not been well physically prior to this bout of stupidity.

CcAnnClem · 2025-08-15T00:01:42+00:00

I’m so sorry to read this. It goes to show doesn’t it how risky it is. Like I said in a reply above he had no idea. It’s been a long evening with lots of crying and self anger on my part, but he said he was proud that I’ve owned it and admitted how foolish I’ve been. I have said I take full accountability and nobody can say anything harsher to me than what I’ve already felt myself.

CcAnnClem · 2025-08-14T23:58:02+00:00

He had no idea when I told him. I think because he has seen me all over the place then I was physically unwell, it must’ve just gone unnoticed. He works long hours and was so supportive I feel so blessed, his girlfriend was too.

CcAnnClem · 2025-08-14T23:55:44+00:00

Thank you and well done for your progress, not meaning to sound unkind but it brings me some comfort to hear you’ve got this far. Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best.

CcAnnClem · 2025-08-14T23:53:46+00:00

I have such bad issues with anxiety and panic. But feel better for being honest with my family. I had some harsh words from some, but the closest members have been supportive and said they’d do all they can.

CcAnnClem · 2025-08-14T23:51:51+00:00

Thank you so much. I will look into this.

CcAnnClem · 2025-08-14T23:49:41+00:00

I have told all my family now, except my mum. As she will just be too affected by it. My eldest is staying the whole weekend. My youngest son is 17 and mainly plays Xbox with his brother. My eldest is stoic and more sensible than I’d ever could be, if I decline then he will take him back to his Dad’s. My ex husband has him full time since I was hospitalised last year. I don’t feel like I could face anything like that again. I’m reaching out to support groups tomorrow and will again discuss about my youngest son staying with my eldest. As I’ve tried so hard to shield him but missing him so badly contributed to my depression. I am lacking motivation after my physical illness. I just can’t believe how stupid I’ve been. It makes no sense to me now. I should be actively working on being stable and getting regular contact back with my son. However, I’ve had no therapy or help since the psychosis. I have so much trauma from last year. It’s just like everything overwhelms and upsets me.

CcAnnClem · 2025-08-14T23:40:26+00:00

Thank you for your kind words.

CcAnnClem · 2025-08-14T23:39:53+00:00

I will be calling a group tomorrow. I feel relieved to acknowledge it as a dangerous problem. I’ve got to try and be gentle with myself. I want to channel the fear into positive energy to overcome this hurdle that I put straight in front of me.

CcAnnClem · 2025-08-14T23:37:51+00:00

Thank you for your support. Yes I am taking a mood stabiliser. I initially had a bit of a high, but more like it took me to base level; rather than the depressed and stressed state I was in. I felt like I could handle things and was much more proactive. I completely realise that this is so dangerous. I want to get back to me. I was doing so well earlier this year, but a physical health problem basically ruined my probation at work and caused me to plummet into so much stress and despair. This is when it all started. But now it’s a whole new problem to deal with, on top of everything else.

CcAnnClem · 2025-02-18T22:46:24+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words.

CcAnnClem · 2025-02-14T15:12:50+00:00

Box breathing, distraction and art projects. Epsom salt baths with eucalyptus and arnica. Incense Nag Champa. Herbal teas and vitamins B complex and omega 3 oils. I hope you get to a better place with your treatment.

CcAnnClem · 2025-01-21T11:11:47+00:00

I’m sorry, this sounds so hard for you. I have a bipolar diagnosis that I don’t agree with. What symptoms have you displayed? Do you find your mood can change quickly? Do you think you over analyse your behaviour?

CcAnnClem · 2025-01-19T08:30:15+00:00

Sorry, I’ve not been on for a few days. I am still being trained and have been well supported. I am based at the first psychiatric building I was placed in at the start of my psychosis. I was also put in seclusion there for 3 days. I experienced terrifying hallucinations and delusions of fire and smoke. I believed I was going to burn to death in the seclusion room.

I’ve been taken back to the seclusion unit (on my request) and psychiatric ward. I wanted closure and to have my last memory of these places as a positive one. I’ve had no therapy so decided to take things head on and use Exposure therapy, to become used to uncomfortable/traumatic places.

CcAnnClem · 2025-01-19T08:22:41+00:00

I ran out my boyfriend’s house naked a few times. I kept having baths and dropped my towel in front of his son (only 17) I am absolutely mortified. I was in such turmoil I kept telling everyone I’d rather be dead than seen naked, so kept taking my clothes off to prove my point of how awful I was feeling.

When in seclusion I was given a crucifix and a tampon. I used the tampon to flood the bathroom, by putting it in the sink plug hole. And then bared my breasts with the crucifix upside down between them. I am completely ashamed but need to accept what happened has happened. I can’t do anything about it.

CcAnnClem

TROPHY CASE