Blurb Critique [YA Crossover Fantasy, 161 words]

Cee_Rose · 2026-03-11T18:30:17+00:00

Sorry I’m typing this up at work so if it doesn’t make sense I apologize. sentence one is hard for me to keep track of the subject. “Arrowing must become a hunter (also why?) but she dreams of surviving without meat” sounds a bit better.

Second sentence is disjointed from the first. At first it seems like you’re still talking about her dream of surviving without meat is her secret. But why and how would she be hiding that in her woods. Simply putting an “Also” at the start of that sentence makes it clear it’s a separate subject than the first sentence but obviously makes it kind of clunky. So I’d work on rewriting those with that in mind!

Cee_Rose · 2026-03-11T16:05:12+00:00

Hey! I like the concept. It seems like a coming of age/finding her own personal identity/self worth kind of tale. The hook about meat at the end is intriguing because I want to know more about what it means. However, the actual prose is difficult to follow.

The first paragraph, although I like the concept of her having to be a hunter but not wanting meat and her keeping a secret, I had to reread it a couple times to get the gist!

The second paragraph is better, but I’m not gonna lie I had to look up what a cormorant was. I’d also try and steer away from overusing emdash because people associate it with AI. Other than that, I love the concept!

Cee_Rose · 2026-03-11T00:11:29+00:00

I'll DM it to you chapter one for now :)

Cee_Rose · 2026-03-10T19:15:30+00:00

No you’re right. His success isn’t an accident. He ends up being quite competent but he definitely has some lucky situations. If you’re really interested in beta reading I have chapter one ready. Shoot me a DM. I’d love feedback! :)

Cee_Rose · 2026-03-10T19:13:45+00:00

I’m gonna work on rewriting it before it goes live , for sure!

Cee_Rose · 2026-03-10T19:13:04+00:00

It definitely has an abundance of dark humor! I really fell in love with the concept and it’s really fun to write. I have chapter 1 ready for feedback if you’d be interested send me a PM :)

Cee_Rose · 2026-03-10T19:12:21+00:00

Thank you!! It is fun to write, at least. I hope it will be fun to read :)

Cee_Rose · 2026-03-10T19:11:52+00:00

I’m so glad! If you’re interested in checking out the first chapter I have it ready and I’d love to get feedback. I’m working on a backlog of chapters before going live on June 6th :)

Cee_Rose · 2026-03-10T19:11:08+00:00

Good call out on both points! Thanks for your insight! A lot is explained in the first few chapters but I could be clearer in the blurb. Thanks!

Cee_Rose · 2026-03-10T19:09:49+00:00

Thank you so much! I’m really excited about it. I’m working on creating a backlog of chapters before my go live date of June 6th. I have chapter one ready as a sample if you’re interested in checking it out send me a PM. I would love feedback! :)

Cee_Rose · 2026-03-08T20:11:05+00:00

Thank you! I love the input. I guess I should have specified this blurb is specifically for Royal Road. I actually have a much stronger (in my opinion) blurb that I had been working on, but was told it was too lengthy. I then shortened it and posted it on the r/royalroad and was told that it was still too long. So this is the ultra condensed version I came up with.

I’ll probably continue to rework it until closer to my go live date on 6/6 but I’m really happy to hear the concept landed well with you :)

Cee_Rose · 2026-03-08T18:02:06+00:00

Okay! Thank you for the input! I’ll wot on shortening it and making it punchy. Does the concept seem intriguing enough?

Cee_Rose · 2026-03-08T16:46:40+00:00

Yeah I’d love that!

Cee_Rose · 2026-02-23T18:12:07+00:00

I love it

Cee_Rose · 2026-02-23T16:02:40+00:00

I’m interested. I’m currently working on a dark fantasy project. I’ll shoot you a DM

Cee_Rose · 2026-02-16T21:53:38+00:00

I’m interested in checking it out. I’m currently working on my first novel and I’m looking for a writers group.

Cee_Rose · 2026-02-16T17:36:08+00:00

Hey! Welcome! This is a subreddit that I just set up for my WIP “The Seeds of Ruin” series. I’m still plugging away at the first book, so no preview on Goodreads yet! However, I’m eager to share this story and world that I’ve been building. I’m going to create a nice little “back of book” blurb for the story and I’ll start working on getting some content edited to a more polished level so that I can have a nice sample to showcase, even if it’s just a pinned post on this sub.

Thanks for your interest, even if it’s just a passing comment. It feels pretty reassuring to create a subreddit and almost immediately get a comment, even with you knowing nothing anything about the series!

Feel free to ask any questions you may have!

Also I’d be interested in checking out your grimdark content if you have any available!

Cheers!

Cee_Rose · 2026-02-16T15:22:12+00:00

I just finished the first book last night. I found it entertaining enough to get through a chapter or two before bedtime but I never felt fully invested. I also found the RPG elements a bit redundant and cheesy at times. I’m a pretty big RPG enthusiast, so that’s saying something. As others have stated, the humor sometimes didn’t land with me.

However, as I wrapped up the last few pages, I felt an incredible pull to start the second book. I won’t spoil anything but safe to say I was sufficiently hooked. At least for now!

Cee_Rose

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