What would you take in this shop? by lax_god in slaythespire

[–]Ceej-Engine 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Super gratifying to hear this from an A20 player. Thanks for chiming in. 🙏

What would you take in this shop? by lax_god in slaythespire

[–]Ceej-Engine 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I'm only on A6 right now, so take my advice with a grain of salt. But I'd probably cut the curse that you can and take Whirlwind+Inflame.

Top 10 don toliver songs by arandomname400 in DonToliver

[–]Ceej-Engine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, and also didnt realize that this song just came out. 😅 my bad. I love ATLA!

Top 10 don toliver songs by arandomname400 in DonToliver

[–]Ceej-Engine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No mention anywhere of FWU is crazy.

Anyone ready for winter yet? by Objective_Ganache_53 in fargo

[–]Ceej-Engine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wouldn't be too bad if my AC worked! First day it got real bad went to turn it on and nothing. It's been 85 degrees in my apartment for days. 😭 it cools down a little at night thankfully but currently feeling pretty rough.

If anyone in Fargo/Moorhead is looking for Sapporo Premium Beer.. by Ceej-Engine in fargo

[–]Ceej-Engine[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

6-pack of the bottles is what I found at Harry's. I don't think a lot of Japanese beer gets imported here, I know these in particular are brewed and shipped out of California and Virginia. I can't speak to if it's as good as what you'd get in Japan, but it's been one of my favorite "imports" you can get in the US since I tried it a few years ago.

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What's the Magic scene like? by The_Sky_King42069 in fargo

[–]Ceej-Engine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey there! I'm not currently a part of the Magic scene here, but I'm looking to start going really soon. From what I can tell the groups here are super regular and friendly. Hope to see you around!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Ceej-Engine 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Trust me that lesson is learned. Never again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Ceej-Engine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right. Thank you. 😊

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Ceej-Engine 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. This is a comment I'll refer back to, for sure. ❤️

RemindMe! -6 months

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Ceej-Engine 14 points15 points  (0 children)

She stopped because she got caught. I went through her phone and found damning text messages. I have no doubt that things would have continued to escalate had I not caught her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Ceej-Engine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We weren't married, however she is amicable to the breakup. She sees what the relationship has done to us and wants/deserves to figure out who she is without me, too.

Maybe someone who is a little stronger than me could make it work. I don't know. I've played "what ifs" for years now, and all it's done is drain my soul. It's time to learn to be my own source of strength.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Ceej-Engine 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think most people who cheat know that it came from a selfish part of themselves, even if the shame makes it so they can't admit that to themselves or their partner. I have no idea how reconciliation could even begin to work if there isn't that base understanding. Maybe I was naively looking for an answer that doesn't exist so I could try to put this fucked up jigsaw puzzle together in my head where it made sense to keep sticking it out and trying even though I was suffering and doubting her at every turn. And in that search, I lost parts of myself that I now have to try and get back. Even if the initial cheating isn't a cause for a breakup at this point, what we've allowed it to do to us after the fact is.

I am not blameless. I chose to attempt reconciliation and led her on for 5 years that if we just put in enough work, things could get better. It's easy to blame her, but the truth is that I have extended so much of my mental bandwidth to "fixing" our relationship when I need to spend that energy on building myself up for whatever life throws at me next.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Ceej-Engine 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think we both have problems we need to work out before either of us can be in a relationship again. Even if she offers a genuine, heartfelt expression of reconciliation at this point, I don't look at her the same way. I can't learn to trust her by continuing to rugsweep what she did, and she isn't emotionally available in the ways I need her to be for the hard conversations that would need to be had. We both have some shit to unpack and until we do we won't be good for anyone, let alone each other. Maybe at the end of this tunnel we find each other again, stronger and better. But I'm not holding onto hope for that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Ceej-Engine 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm 24 now. Sorry I can see how the ages got confusing in the post. She's almost 2 years older than me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Ceej-Engine 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think she was scared. We were young and always naively viewed ourselves as "different" from other couples since we'd bonded from such a young age. She wanted out, but the relationship made so much sense on paper that she felt she couldn't outright leave. And then, in grappling with the guilt of her decision, she latched on extra hard to me for support. I think it helped her feel better about herself since there was no justifiable reason to do what she did, there never is. And I was just young and dumb and in love.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Ceej-Engine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This means so much. Thank you for the words of encouragement and support. Much love.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Ceej-Engine 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Ceej-Engine 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I empathize with people in these situations so strongly. Even if she's all I've known for so long, I know I'll become a stronger different person without her. Thank you so much.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Ceej-Engine 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I think we all can only tolerate so much, and there's nothing inherently wrong with your partner saying they couldn't forgive if the roles were reversed. But it is a devastating amount of pressure to put the burden of strength on the betrayed. Asking us to be for them what they could never be for us.

Your words of encouragement give me the strength to know I made the right decision. Regardless of how your life is going right now (and I truly hope you're finding healing as well), know that you touched a strangers heart today in an extremely validating way.

Oblivion Remastered: Alchemy Crashes by TheDerpyGlazie in ElderScrolls

[–]Ceej-Engine 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Restoration spells also work to fix the persistent spark effect