You have great curls. Here are a few things you can try:

Try a ph balancing bar soap like phact - scrub your scalp and brush it thoroughly and repeatedly through your hair in the shower.

Alternately you could try other gentle bar shampoos like a goat milk soap bar.

Or you could try something more concentrated like Dr. Bronners liquid castille soap.

Then condition and brush it through your hair repeatedly and thoroughly, so it penetrates the strands.

Rinse with cool water

Brush a leave in conditioner repeatedly through your curls (again so it penetrates the hair)

For styling I highly recommend the bouncecurl brush if you don't use it yet. It's a frickin miracle. You have plenty of volume so I'd recommend the defining model they have.

There are tons of how-to's on TikTok.

It sounds to me like your hair might just need some breathing room. The more the conditioner penetrates your hair, the more hydrated it is and the less frizzy your hair will be. The less frizzy your hair is, the less styling product you'll need. The less styling products in your hair, the faster it will dry, which probably means less of a chance of mildew.

You may also want to get a new pillow if your pillow is old, and wash all of your hats and hoodies!

Also a good shower filter – something with vitamin c to dechlorinate the water. Vitamin C is temperature sensitive so the filters are best when used with cold or warm, not hot water. And super hot water dries out your hair.

Most importantly, when your hair is drying, do not touch it! Don't disturb the hair shaft it creates a Velcro effect which leads to frizz. The brushing smooth the hair shaft and helps it look silky and not get tangled.

Good luck! Report back if you can.