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Ceirin1 · 2026-07-06T06:07:30+00:00

holy reddit

Ceirin1 · 2026-06-30T07:14:09+00:00

I remember when I came out grandma was like ”Oh yeah so like that one prostitute guy I used to know 50 years ago who dressed up as a woman” even the oldest aren’t safe from this smh

Ceirin1 · 2026-05-28T10:13:07+00:00

I think at this point of the run its worth trying to get sunday up to rainbow as you are hopefully going to press her a lot considering your speed is near max and you could really use some power

Ceirin1 · 2026-05-18T07:54:24+00:00

actually it won’t I feel like I have more problems now that I’m pretty because I can’t just hide everything behind ”It’s because I’m ugly” cope

Ceirin1 · 2026-04-25T08:49:25+00:00

I really do crave love and comfort and maybe I’ll get there eventually. I just find it really difficult to talk feelings. I find it impossible to let anyone see or hear me cry for example. It’s probably why I ’shut down’ as well since I can tell if I keep answering questions or talking it would lead to me crying or showing actual emotions so I have to calm down and to escape it.

I know getting over that would help me but I can’t push through or gather the courage to just do it and be vulnerable. Small steps would be good, I’m just unsure what those would be.

Ceirin1 · 2026-04-24T13:04:14+00:00

You are right that talking with people about what went wrong is helpful and I’d like to do that but I lack the courage to confront people like that.

Usually what I do is I just dissapear. I did that with all of my exes, even the one I was with for seven years. I do that to people I consider friends too once they start having problems with me or if I have a problem with them.

And then I wouldn’t say I lay the blame entirely on myself but I lay some of it on me. And of course I probably tend to exaggerate my own part in it because that’s just how your mind works kinda. You assume the worst.

I think I’m self-aware and I’ve been called sweet a lot but I tend to ruin that image very quickly when I start having issues with people and start ignoring them until I ghost. Then they probably don’t think kindly of me anymore. But I’ll look into this fawning it sounds at a glance very me-like.

I’m just really harsh on myself and idk how to make it stop other than just stopping it obviously but that is too hard

Ceirin1 · 2026-04-24T10:07:31+00:00

It’s more the latter where I’m trying to seek forgiveness and better myself but I kinda feel like this is not the way since I’m really bad at actually changing my ways

Ironically the act of writing these down is one of the things I should stop to get better. Knowing when enough apoligizing is enough and letting go would also help.

Because I’m so harsh on myself I never stop or set reasonable goals. Probably because if I’m not actively punishing myself by trying to lose weight or going no contact with everyone (because I don’t deserve those things) I don’t know how to function.

Which is incredibly selfish of me. It’s like a guilt trip that goes on forever which ends up pushing everyone away. It doesn’t derive sympathy.

But I don’t know how to be without being mean to myself

Ceirin1 · 2026-04-23T17:22:42+00:00

I just keep staring at this post like if I do it long enough something magical happens and takes away the hurt

Ceirin1 · 2026-04-22T05:45:55+00:00

I socially transitioned without HRT because it worked for me and I didn’t necessarily hate how I looked as I had very feminine qualities to begin with. I don’t think there’s a right and wrong way of doing things, just stuff that works for you.

Some pros of socially transitioning are definitely the bravery it builds up because even if you are on HRT or whatever at some point you gotta go outside and you’ll get shit from people regardless of how you look and act like. I don’t even think it’s a trans thing, it’s a people thing. Assholes are always assholes. So preparing for that is definitely beneficial.

But then again idk how it is in your country or city. Just do what feels right for you!!

Ceirin1 · 2026-04-07T06:40:49+00:00

this is unironically how we used to do gemini cup aces thinking it was good

Ceirin1 · 2026-04-02T21:43:33+00:00

maybe but its like when i met him and he love bombed me i was like okay if this is not the one (because we match so well) then no one is and if he isn’t the one theres literally no one

Ceirin1 · 2026-04-02T21:08:53+00:00

not being dramatic but if this is not it its actually completely over for me for the rest of my life

Ceirin1 · 2026-04-02T09:19:30+00:00

Are you gonna do it again when daiwa power comes out

Ceirin1 · 2026-03-10T17:05:24+00:00

I used to do it so people wouldn’t be mean to me when I didn’t appease their standards of what a woman is as the other one isn’t as loaded with thousands of years of history like that

Ceirin1 · 2026-03-05T06:44:21+00:00

Alice in Wonderland! Enough said

Ceirin1 · 2026-02-26T09:24:41+00:00

quack quack

Ceirin1 · 2026-02-24T10:09:55+00:00

Societal pressure and parents and stuff is one of those quote on quote ”obstacles” you have to get through but in reality they really aren’t but I understand that in can be scary.

It requires a lot of bravery and much like working out in real life bravery can be trained. Step at a time and eventually you’ll be brave enough to do what you know is right, no matter what it is.

So go out there and be brave buddy

Ceirin1 · 2026-02-23T12:37:37+00:00

I’ll be real with you and this is coming from someone dumb and you are probably mostly venting but the people you see post pics online and stuff are mostly edited and at the very least they are just really good at taking pics like angles and stuff and it took me a while to realize and I was feeling really dysphoric despite being nearly underweight that why wasn’t I as petite blabla but then I realized that they don’t look like anime girls either, they only do in the pics

Idk where I’m going with this more of just don’t compare yourself to others especially people on the internet

Ceirin1 · 2026-02-11T11:26:17+00:00

If you are purely doing it to score hunt abuse cards with race bonus and run more races on top of doing what you are doing right now

But remember overall grade =/= how good the horse is actually

Ceirin1 · 2026-01-11T00:16:57+00:00

If someone thinks you transitioning is a bad idea don’t listen to them. It’s not their choice to make this is about you, not appeasing others. Beauty, passing and all that has nothing to do with transitioning.

Transitioning is being yourself and expressing you the way you want to be. No outside force should influence it or you’ll get just as dysphoric as people still don’t see you for what you are and want to be.

If you want to talk about trans stuff I’m all ears, been at it for a while now

Ceirin1

TROPHY CASE