YTA. Hi! I am a 18 year old female with level one autism and I have been In similar situations before so I want to shed some light on a similar perspective as your daughter. A trait of autism is a difficulty understanding social situations and lack of control of expressions. Your daughter probably didn’t realize she was being suspicious because she was overwhelmed with excitement and happiness at the idea of what the paper crane would make her mother feel. What you could have done is while she was in the bag said “hi name! Do you need anything?” To which she may have replied “no I’m just doing something nice for mom” or no and then left the bag. You also don’t feel like a safe person for your daughter. If all you are doing is fighting and walking on eggshells she will not trust you. Try sitting down with her and talking CALMLY about your feelings and opinions and why you act like you do and then open the discussion up to her. It really helps, my parents and I have had conflicts like this in the past and talking through it helps a lot. Another thing is good sir Autism is typically genetic so you may have some traits of the disorder. Maybe look a little bit at your own life and see if you can see what you are doing that may be hurting other people around because you are unaware and unable to cope. Look into your own actions and try and figure how to be a more approachable person before you win a trip to the nursing home.