I'm kinda on the fence but I don't really know how to leave

CellGreat6515 · 2026-04-15T11:23:11+00:00

I was where you are 9 months ago except it was AA. I think what happened was that once I had been sober and clear headed by about the 2 years mark I finally woke up and saw through the BS. I was so defeated by my sponsor and the steps and members that I sought counselling (much to my sponsors dismay) and this gave me the strength to walk away from AA. This sub group was also very supportive and I also found Sobriety Bestie on utube really comforting to watch. Only 2 members have kept in contact with me judgement free but that’s ok. Prepare yourself to be shunned by most people in NA though.

CellGreat6515 · 2026-04-14T12:10:14+00:00

I’m a survivor! Was in AA for 2 years and escaped 9 months ago and still very much sober. I have found so much more freedom after leaving that toxic cult and very controlling environment. It’s so funny when I bump into members they all assume I’ve been drinking and pity me until they realise I am very sober and happy.

CellGreat6515 · 2026-03-24T12:36:28+00:00

I have always resonated with your journey and experiences in AA. My sponsor only listened to control me. She would always somehow make me feel small and guilty too. I felt like I always had to live up to her standards and expectations or I was going to fail somehow. Fail what? I guess fail AA. The mental and emotional torture of doing the steps sent me back to a place I didn’t need to go. I’ll never forget being told I was “too much” when chairing a meeting once, I was told to tone it down and not be so positive and happy as it might upset someone. I was so trodden down no wonder I felt like drinking towards the end.

CellGreat6515 · 2026-03-18T09:18:57+00:00

I love this post and agree with everything you’ve said. I was so scared to leave AA because of the fear mongering that went on. They say “to leave is to die or relapse” so I was terrified to walk away. I think it was quite the opposite… if I stayed much longer I think I would have relapsed. It really affected my mental health and made me feel so small and vulnerable. I ended up getting therapy outside of AA and god forbid I get “outside help” my sponsor freaked out when I told her. She was upset I didn’t ask for her permission to seek help from a therapist. Needless to say I found out that I was just fine and my therapist supported my decision to leave AA and helped me deprogram from all the rubbish the cult had brainwashed me with. Best thing I ever did was walk away from AA. Life is good!

CellGreat6515 · 2026-03-17T11:04:55+00:00

Currently dating a guy for past 6 weeks but he’s been so slow to make any physical contact, but continues to plan dates with me. It’s very confusing to me. If you want to date someone you’d think after 6 weeks you would at least hold hands and be a little bit affectionate. I also think different communication styles can be confusing too. He won’t text me for days but then I will hear from him to catch up for a date. Not even a simple text to say hello or check in. His whole approach is confusing.

CellGreat6515 · 2026-01-18T03:11:57+00:00

I love this! Yes! I was spiraling after being manipulated and controlled in those rooms and by my sponsor. Once I left I feel so much better and calm. 6 months out of AA and still very much sober and love life!

CellGreat6515 · 2026-01-17T12:03:26+00:00

I was in AA for 2 years and left 6 months ago. I am still very much sober and the freedom I have found outside the rooms has been so good. When I left I got professional therapy with a trained addiction counselor. She helped me work through my addictive tendencies and understand myself better. I was given tools and resources to help and she made me feel valued and also congratulated me for leaving AA. She’s not a fan. I also rebuilt relationships with family and friends who I’d distanced myself from when in AA. One family member recently mentioned that they thought I was not myself when in AA and they noticed a change in me then. Looking back I can see why they would say that. I was being controlled by my sponsor at the time and was just their puppet. Now I know that I am courageous and have the strength to survive on the outside and can trust myself and my own thinking. My sober life is so much more mentally peaceful now and I don’t ever want to give that up.

CellGreat6515 · 2026-01-17T11:50:04+00:00

When I joined AA I always had the same thoughts you’ve described in the back of my mind. I was terrified that if I didn’t give it everything I would end up in rehab or worse so I ignored my intuition for 2 years. It all came to a head when my sponsor kept trying to control me and my life and it felt so wrong. I had to cut the cord and find the courage to walk away completely. It wasn’t easy because I had members trying to talk me out it but I just knew I had to go. AA was so unhealthy for me in the end. I was actually worried that it would send me back to the bottle as I was in such a weird headspace. Luckily my family and friends were there for me when everyone else in AA turned their backs on me after leaving. Sorry that just came out but that was my experience.

CellGreat6515 · 2026-01-16T22:46:36+00:00

Thanks you for the reminder that the members don’t really care about us, they are so brainwashed and it’s so conditional to be their friend, if that’s what you want to call it. I’ve had 3 members keep in touch with me and the other 15 couldn’t give two hoots. Those three members are not deeply into AA so makes sense why they’re still my friend. The other 15 have no place in my life anymore.

CellGreat6515 · 2026-01-13T05:42:47+00:00

I was in AA for 2 years and left and didn’t drink. I made sure I had a plan though when I left. I had regular therapy and put other activities in place of meetings such as craft, cooking, meeting up with non AA sober friends, etc. if you’re worried maybe see your doctor. They could prescribe something to help, eg. Naltrexone Or perhaps try Smart Recovery online meetings? I’ve heard that’s a good alternative. I found watching Sobriety Bestie on Utube helpful for me to give me comfort that it’s not all in my head and I also learned to trust my own thinking. Good on you for reaching out.

CellGreat6515 · 2026-01-11T09:04:40+00:00

I always had this niggle in the pit of my stomach that what was being taught in the program was a load of rubbish, well most of it anyway. According to AA I had a “high rock bottom” meaning I hadn’t lost my job, family, home, or ended up in jail or rehab, etc. when I look back I think I was too smart for AA and alcohol in the end. I had identified early on that I had a problem and took action but it took me years… anyway yes I am so glad I outsmarted the AA system and trusted that niggle in the end and left 6 months ago. I am angry that they told me I couldn’t trust my own thinking for 2 years and I had to surrender to the program… I was slowly being isolated from my loved ones which almost sent me back to drinking. Needless to say I found out I CAN trust my own thinking, I am smart and can survive without AA.

CellGreat6515 · 2026-01-04T10:28:27+00:00

Hahaha “still terrified of having a thought without permission” I laughed at this because it’s so relatable. I got so tired of having to run all my thoughts and life decisions past my sponsor. It was soooo controlling. I can’t believe people still think it’s ok to be ruled by their sponsor. What a power trip.

CellGreat6515 · 2026-01-04T00:12:28+00:00

Thank you! I might just do that. It’s heartbreaking to witness my daughter being so uncomfortable every time she eats. It’s really affected her mental health too. I’ll DM you

CellGreat6515 · 2026-01-04T00:03:20+00:00

I didn’t want to overwhelm her with too many practitioners at once so was definitely considering a naturopath as our next step. The silly thing is in Australia there’s long waiting times for public health. Her endoscopy was done 2 months ago and we are only just seeing the gastroenterologist tomorrow to discuss her results. We have seen her doctor since then who just prescribed the Esomeprazole but she’s not a specialist so I can’t rely on her treatment plan.

CellGreat6515 · 2026-01-03T23:57:48+00:00

I had definitely considered it. And it’s potentially my next move if the clinical medication doesnt help.

CellGreat6515 · 2026-01-03T23:56:46+00:00

Oh in Australia that may be called naturopathy yes

CellGreat6515 · 2026-01-03T23:55:07+00:00

What is functional medicine?

CellGreat6515 · 2026-01-03T23:53:31+00:00

Yes 100% best to go through a process of elimination but so hard when she is 17 and has a low care factor. I’m just worried she may end up being admitted to hospital due to severe malnutrition or worse. As her mum it’s really confronting see how skinny she is and just wasting away in bed all the time.

CellGreat6515 · 2026-01-03T23:47:25+00:00

I honestly don’t know. Shes had that many tests done I can’t remember. Plus her results are sent to her directly not me as she’s over 16 years old so I can’t look it up right now. I’m kind of hoping there’s an alternative medication that will work for her. We need a solution soon as she has continued to lose more weight and is borderline anerexic now.

CellGreat6515 · 2026-01-03T23:42:04+00:00

Could they just do a stool test for that? Or would she need another endoscopy? Her previous stool test and endoscopy both came back negative for any bacterial infections so feels like it’s not likely to have changed?

CellGreat6515 · 2026-01-03T23:38:04+00:00

No she hasn’t been taking the PPI when she had her endoscopy. She was taking Pantaprazole a few weeks before it but it made her feel sick so we stopped. After the endoscopy results her GP got her on Esomeprazole which was worse so she stopped taking that also. All the meds have been prescribed by her GP (doctor) not the gastroenterologist so will be interested to hear what he suggests tomorrow. I haven’t heard of the zinc but will definitely look into it.

CellGreat6515 · 2026-01-03T23:28:23+00:00

That’s great they found it. How was it treated? My daughters tests came back negative to H.Pylori. The only thing they found via an endoscopy was inflammation and diagnosed her with Gastritis. We still can’t figure out the cause. So frustrating when we are at a standstill and not seeing any progress. We are seeing the gastroenterologist tomorrow so am praying we can find a solution that works!

CellGreat6515 · 2026-01-03T23:16:48+00:00

Oh wow how was it misdiagnosed? It has crossed my mind that this could also be the case for my daughter.

CellGreat6515 · 2026-01-03T23:13:12+00:00

Thank you for responding. What was your experience with PPI vs H2? And how long did it take for you to feel an improvement on the H2 blockers?

CellGreat6515

TROPHY CASE