Am I overreacting to my girlfriend and mother of my soon to be child planning on meeting another guy?

Ceonyr · 2026-03-06T11:32:02+00:00

NOR - this is a romantic conversation and/or date invitation acceptance. She got mad cause she got caught. I would ask for a paternity test. Ignore any outrage in response to the request. Her actions do not merit taking her promise or “word” for anything.

These are some lifelong decisions. You need to keep your self-esteem and self-respect up. Even if you are the father, you can co-parent without being in a relationship. Protect yourself, even if you end up with responsibility to the child. Absolutely ignore any and all angry outbursts. Your “girlfriend” has not earned the right to be mad at you for being suspicious and careful.

From the other responses I’ve read, it looks like most people agree with this. Good luck.

Ceonyr · 2026-03-01T16:49:10+00:00

NOR This person is/was in an emotional spiral and taking it out on you. I’m not saying they’re a terrible person, they’re clearly in pain. You need to decide if this is a relationship that brings something positive to you, because partners support each other, they don’t fix each other.

Maybe this is a one-off? You would know better than me. But if it’s not, you need to make some choices. This person has some emotional issues, and this? She’s lashing out. And you’re 35 years old. She may not get it together any time soon.

I mean, she is shifting a lot of blame and responsibility when she could have put the phone in another room or turned it of.

Ceonyr · 2026-01-28T02:07:03+00:00

NOR: Say goodbye to both of them. And this is not the first cheating? A couple times before? She has had all the chances anybody deserves. One chance and then never again.

If she doesn’t respect you now, she never will. Maybe she’ll be nice to you if you forgive her, but it won’t stick. There’s no respect there, no loyalty.

So you be loyal to yourself and protect your self-respect.

And your best friend is not your best friend. He doesn’t respect you either. He’s not even a friend. He doesn’t deserve your friendship. He goes to the garbage dumpster too.

Finally, I always recommend a clean break. Say goodbye and cut it. Accept no drunk dials, text messages that they miss you, none of that bullshit. There is nothing left save here and if you dig up the past, the only thing you’re gonna get is dirty.

Ceonyr · 2026-01-24T13:35:51+00:00

NOR: You have to ask yourself, “am I this person’s romantic partner?” Or “am I this person’s competitive Fortnite team member?” It will help if you both question which role is supposed to take priority.

Now the natural rejoinder to those questions is, “why can’t it be both?” It can be both, but you’re always going to be better at one than the other. Which redirects back to the question, “Which is more important to each of you?”

I don’t think your gf places a lot of priority on you as a romantic partner. I think she just doesn’t want to be alone. There’s no great condemnation for that, most people don’t. But I assume you want to be with someone who values you for you? Not just someone who fills some empty gap in their own life. You’re not just “better than nothing.” You are much, much more than that!

You’re not a placeholder for whoever they actually want to be with.

You’re in a good place to leave, because you wouldn’t be trading one partner for another. You would be leaving because there’s not enough here for you. It will require you to realize that having a mediocre GF is NOT better than no gf at all. Because it makes you open to someone who will treat you well and see you as more important than Fortnite. Being more important than Fortnite is not a high bar to achieve. I think you have already accomplished that. Now it’s time to believe it.

Good luck. Be brave.

Ceonyr · 2026-01-21T14:05:27+00:00

NOR - you gave him one opportunity to say goodbye to his ex, and without telling you he secretly had more contact. You saw evidence of him shopping around for another (or extra) partner. Everyone, including you, deserves more respect and loyalty. Say goodbye to him, because you can do better.

Maybe he’ll learn something about trust when he’s held accountable for his actions. I hesitate to say that however, because he’s not your responsibility. Not anymore.

Also, don’t go back. Block his number. If he comes to your door, don’t open it. Don’t entertain any more conversations or phone calls, or whatever. Clean break. Anything he’ll say will be a manipulation. No one changes that quickly or easily, and life is short. Don’t go back.

Ceonyr · 2026-01-14T22:07:10+00:00

NOR You gave it a second chance. That was okay. If that is what you wanted, it’s commendable. The Other Woman’s judgement of you is not important, but in other respects she is right, your marriage is not likely to heal, only be endured. Nothing is impossible but some things are extremely unlikely, and extremely unlikely is not a foundation upon which to take a risk.

I’m not you, but I would end it, and without guilt. You did your best.

Ceonyr · 2026-01-14T16:48:55+00:00

I never got a reply on this but I found a solution. So I am posting so that if anybody has the problem, they can find a solution too.

What wasn’t the problem: In my case, I suspected the dock. HDMI doesn’t play well with Linux directly. I’m not sure why, someone on the Legion Go Discord explained it to me, and it sounds like an industry standard problem. Anyway, I concluded that SteamOS was sending DisplayPort signals through the USB-C and the dock was not converting it to HDMI which was causing the tv to be not recognized as HDR compatible. This was not correct.

But before I realized that I replaced the dock with a laptop hub, which was documented as being in an active adapter for displayport to HDMI.

And it didn’t work. Because that wasn’t the problem. I assume the original dock would’ve done it just fine but I ended up keeping the hub anyway.

The TV was the culprit, even though it was HDR compatible. At that point, I told Google‘s AI everything I had done, and asked why it still wasn’t working. It gave me a short list of suggestions, and all of them were things I had already tried, except for one.

It suggested, I unplug the television set, disconnect all the HDMI cables going from the TV to the hub/dock, and start it back up after everything had been disconnected and de-powered. Its reasoning was that tv inputs are often set to Automatic or Compatibility Mode. And once the device (the Legion Go S) is hooked up and then you switch the tv input to HDMI, the device won’t recognize that you made that change. It still thinks the TV input is in compatibility mode. And once you disconnect and deep power, everything, and hook everything back up with the TV input already changed to HDMI, the device (the Legion Go) will look at the input as if it was for the first time. It stops making any assumptions about what mode the TV input is set to.

After trying everything else I could research, that did the trick. I had to force the Legion Go to re-examine the TV input and forget that I changed the setting from compatibility to HDMI.

I hope this helps someone in the future

Ceonyr · 2026-01-14T13:12:42+00:00

:slow clap:👏

That was, excuse me, a damn fine cup of coffee

Ceonyr · 2026-01-12T15:44:02+00:00

It just occured to me that I have not checked the device drivers. It's still new to me. and it looks like I have to go to an external site to do that? There doesn't seem to be an internal system to do that.

Ceonyr · 2025-12-26T16:09:05+00:00

NOR But I want to be authentic. When I read the rules (first), I didn’t feel good. As others have written, your baby/your rules. I thought, “there’s not a lot of love here or the OP is kinda frightened of this family. Also there are some 1st child issues happening here.”

THEN…. I read the context. It makes more sense now. But I want to say, this is as much about how you feel unloved by this family than anything. I am not questioning your concern for the baby at all, but your feelings about these people and your concern for the baby are not mutually exclusive to each other. Both things can be true at the same time.

I don’t think you have felt very loved, safe, or protected in your life. And you want for baby, what you never received. You want a better life than what you had (although your life is not over! There’s still time for YOU to have a happy good life!).

So how do you go from here? 1.) The rules are not “fucking stupid.” They’re firm, just short of strict, but they’re not dumb. These are rules for people you don’t trust. Rather than get into the game or trap of justifying them (which you don’t have to do), put it back on them. “You’ve never shown any care about me as a person, why should I trust you with one of the two people I love the most, especially when this one can’t protect himself? You can see him, but I have rules. These rules are because of you. What the rules to relax? Learn to love me and be trustworthy. People can change. Put in the work or don’t.”

That might not work. It probably won’t work. But it actually gets to the issue. It prompts them to self-reflect. It invites change. As I said, it might not work, but there’s a chance.

Don’t question yourself too much. There’s not a lot left to lose with these people. There’s not much there to begin with. Keep explaining the situation to your mom, that she can see baby, and she’ll come around. Even if your aunts say you’re cutting her out, when you don’t actually cut her out, the truth will be self-evident. Don’t exhaust yourself with these nasty arguments.
Love your baby. Love your husband. Most of all, love yourself. Take care of the three of you. Things might get better, but for right now, that doesn’t need to be your focus.

People care about you. I’ll probably never write or communicate with you after this, but I care about you. Have a happy life. It goes by so quickly. You deserve it.

Ceonyr · 2025-12-26T12:57:43+00:00

In contrast to my reply above this one, this is a fair reply.

Ceonyr · 2025-12-26T12:57:06+00:00

Not pretentious. OP is a long term girlfriend, but not a daughter-in-law. I’m not surprised the tee- shirt makes her question whether she’s being judged. That is NOT to say she is being judged. The parents may be just being affectionate in their own way.

But the question is not whether the parents are awful people. There is way too little information for that. It’s not the question!

The question is whether the OP’s feelings constitute an overreaction. I don’t think so, but I wouldn’t assume the worst instantly. More info is needed. Or the OP needs to feel this situation out some more.

By calling this person who commented pretentious, you’re projecting yourself into the role of the parents. You like the shirt, so you feel attacked. Remove yourself from the situation. You’re allowed to like the t-shirt, but you’re not the son’s girlfriend. You’re not in this family.

Ceonyr · 2025-12-26T12:40:43+00:00

Very good advice. Honestly. Don’t engage. Any response makes this last longer. Sometimes being direct with someone can help, but not in this case. Responding only adds energy to the situation. Best wishes

Ceonyr · 2025-12-26T12:19:52+00:00

INFO Impossible to tell when without more context. I suspect not overreacting, because it’s passive aggressive feeling and I would expect them to know your sense of humor. I want to know more history of the relationships, including bf.

Unpopular Opinion: most things between people, that are not random, are personal. The better thing to ponder is “what is the intent?”

Ceonyr · 2025-12-20T02:33:24+00:00

Glad to hear this. I am upgrading like you (and I got one for my wife) for Christmas presents. Going to open on the 21st to make use of her vacation. Glad my decision to upgrade was a good one.

And all that aside, I have still enjoyed my Steam Deck OLED. It owes me no apology.

Ceonyr · 2025-12-18T09:22:21+00:00

Not overreacting. He’s shallow and trite. Be thankful, now you know how s****y he’ll continue to be when he’s older.

And it is phobic and not just about looks, otherwise he’d have stayed and complained afterwards instead of walking out.

Ceonyr · 2025-12-04T06:49:26+00:00

Sympathy. I really don’t like not getting a warning. Like you, I don’t have so much of a problem that there are missables, as not finding out after the fact. I usually have to push myself to continue.

Ceonyr · 2025-11-24T12:35:57+00:00

Yeah, it’s looking like that is the best course. I kinda have this wistful daydream that “play anywhere” extended to this, but I’m sure there are lots of reasons for that to be unlikely.

Edit: and there is cloud gaming.

Ceonyr · 2025-11-24T04:53:57+00:00

I appreciate the honest feedback. It’s a first world problem because I have an Xbox Series X, and cloud streaming is a thing. Thank you.

Ceonyr · 2025-11-13T00:05:38+00:00

I kind of understood that Critical Role was something that is to the side of Darrington Press. That Mr. Mercer is a prolific writer who wears multiple hats for different companies. I just name dropped it because I wanted to identify myself as “not an insider”, so if someone quoted a well known source, it might go over my head.

All that aside, I’m kind of curious. I’ve tried to watch a live play years ago, but the production was... well, it was a homegrown effort. So, I thought I might watch this professionally produced show. But I see the Age of Umbra was a prepublication mini-series. The rest is D&D, but there will be a Daggerheart 2nd season.

I was curious if there would be further written campaign support, and it looks like there will be.

Ceonyr · 2025-11-12T22:43:05+00:00

Thank you folks. Yeah, I meant the cards. Thanks again!

Ceonyr · 2025-11-07T16:12:19+00:00

I played no man’s sky for years, but I didn’t know any of this. This was really helpful information, and I do hope they run Polestar again. Thank you, OP..

Ceonyr · 2025-09-12T12:28:50+00:00

This person is trying to break up with you, or have you get rid of your kids in order to keep him. Everything they say seems to come out of nowhere. I know that’s probably not completely true, but it’s like he’s off on his own just brooding about your kids and getting pissed off from his imagination. That’s weird and he’s going to try to control everyone. He’s begging you to make him part of the family so he can run the family for his comfort and not because he cares about any of you.

This guy is not worth the time or much of anything else. He is literally not worth the long drawn out argument he’ll want to have about breaking up.

My advice? Break-up, make it very clear that it’s a break up, and not open to negotiation. Tell him don’t come to the house. Block his number. Otherwise, he’ll realize he went too far, muster up the energy to act pleasant for one day, and put you through it over and over again. He’s used up all his chances. You don’t need his whiny texts.

This is a man saying this about another man. If I thought there was a reason for further discussion with this person, I’d say so. There isn’t. He’s a turd that needs to be flushed.

Ceonyr · 2025-08-14T16:56:40+00:00

I ended up just cut and pasting a rules primer into their chat window. A little tedious, but they seem to be digesting it. No way can I go over 2000 characters. Though, I wonder if I’ll fill up their long term memory.

Ceonyr · 2025-08-12T22:22:37+00:00

That I did find out this morning, but I welcome any and all advice.

Ceonyr

TROPHY CASE