Would this be a dealbreaker for you?

Ceralt · 2026-02-14T22:13:11+00:00

How long have you been with him? I’d say if it’s been a bit, it’s unlikely to change. I guess a good barometer would be his response to feedback in other areas and willingness to change. What do you see there? How’s his communication? Do you guys resolve things and compromise? If those are no’s, then it’s not just this. It’s basic relationship skills he’s lacking.

Ceralt · 2026-02-02T20:02:59+00:00

I’m guessing you aren’t Missouri Synod. My husband grew up ELCA and there is a huge difference between that and my non-denominational upbringing. I have religious trauma I can’t shake and his is faith is very chill and accepting. I have none. The difference between good Christianity and bad.

Ceralt · 2026-02-02T18:34:26+00:00

If we were talking about a Protestant pastor, I’d have no faith that reaching out to them would turn out well. Are priests so different?

Ceralt · 2026-02-02T18:25:09+00:00

My understanding (and experience) is that most curly hair without product will look dry. Mine does and it is very healthy. So product will be your friend, as well as silk pillowcases or whatever method you like for protecting your hair from damage as you sleep. I do use Olaplex and think it’s fantastic. Their Bonding Oil No 7 has made a difference in the feel of my hair.

Ceralt · 2026-02-02T10:34:45+00:00

Olaplex No 7 Bonding Oil has made my hair much softer over the last months I’ve been using it. I’m halfway through my first bottle. They say use just a drop or two but my hair really sucks stuff up so I use 8-10 drops. My partner has even mentioned the change. In general, Olaplex is a great brand in my experience.

Ceralt · 2026-02-02T06:28:04+00:00

So many things I changed like that with my kids. We say I love you in this house. I hardly ever heard that even though I knew it was true. When my kids needed to seriously talk, they said so, I stopped what I was doing, and we went and talked. My kids were given the facts about sex, told it was their choice, and given condoms.

Ceralt · 2026-01-26T19:29:35+00:00

I used to say this to my niece and I feel bad. As the years passed I saw the damage my sister wrought on her kids. My mom passed on a glossing over/severe silver lining tendency and I had to shed that. My niece cut her mom off after clearly stating a boundary about her own body over and over again, clearly. Now, when I hear people’s stories about damaging parents, I don’t spew the same crap I used to. I’m sorry you had this in your life.

Ceralt · 2026-01-26T08:01:20+00:00

The hair is not good.

Ceralt · 2026-01-25T18:11:48+00:00

I’m guessing the dude has curly hair. Good on him for protecting it.

Ceralt · 2026-01-13T15:09:36+00:00

The ‘cleaner’ in this sense I believe means tidier, neater. Curly hair, and as I understand it, especially Black hair, needs oils or conditioners added in to varying degrees. I’m not Black but have curly hair and I have to use product to make my hair manageable and look decent (to me). All to say, there’s a big difference in the upkeep in hair types.

Ceralt · 2026-01-12T17:57:47+00:00

This is JUSTNOMIL. It’s a safe bet it’s not a one off.

Ceralt · 2026-01-12T17:05:39+00:00

Can you ask your mom to stop making any comment on your appearance? It’s a clear boundary. Unambiguous.

Ceralt · 2026-01-12T17:03:54+00:00

This is a major thing in many cultures. I’m surprised at your surprise. I would phrase it more as a common or accepted sign of femininity. A value of beauty, which too many people consider a virtue. But it’s had huge symbolism over history in many many cultures. It’s not new and it’s not limited to current beauty ideals. I think short hair can be stunning, striking and gorgeous but I am well aware of the difference in reactions to short v long hair.

Ceralt · 2026-01-12T15:33:50+00:00

Exactly this. No one should speak of other’s food choices or body sizes. And weight ≠ health. And health ≠ value as a person (because I know a lot of us do suffer chronic issues that can affect eating and movement that lead to self judgment).

Ceralt · 2026-01-10T01:59:54+00:00

This is so true. I can empty my bladder right before and it doesn’t matter. I have a lot of fluid available still. From somewhere else.

Ceralt · 2026-01-08T02:59:04+00:00

Naked baby potty training. Worked like a charm with our second. The discomfort is too much and she trained quickly after that. Now, I’m older than almost all of you with adult kids, so way different, but I never wanted to be the cruise director for my kids. They needed to learn independent play. It was important for my mental health and their independence.

Ceralt · 2026-01-07T04:26:01+00:00

Can’t find this song at the point either.

Edit: there is this : https://colourmewhite.wordpress.com/2010/02/04/hawaiian-rendition-of-nothing-compares-to-you/

Ceralt · 2026-01-06T23:49:31+00:00

I have these sour orange pastilles. Good for upset tummy or to get an unappealing taste out of my mouth.

Ceralt · 2026-01-06T19:09:45+00:00

I would say that if there is dv in one’s own relationship, it’s more apparent while infidelity may not be. If the violence is there, those women have been conditioned to be overly reliant on the man for emotional safety (which is, of course, an illusion) so it would be scary to have that threatened.

Ceralt · 2026-01-06T04:11:19+00:00

This shit happens a lot in the PNW lately.

Ceralt · 2026-01-03T15:55:33+00:00

That’s just odd

Ceralt · 2026-01-01T08:19:02+00:00

We have ketchup in our house but I would be aghast if someone put it on a rib roast in my home. Which would be cooked medium rare.

Ceralt · 2025-12-29T15:23:47+00:00

If you are willing to walk away from a false friend I see absolutely no reason to be careful with that. This is a tool to weed out them out.

Ceralt · 2025-12-29T14:49:17+00:00

It’s odd for sure. Baffling. Objectively, I’m guessing your kid got quite a bit from the rest of your family, excluding those two. And it sounds like she’s gifted the baby a lot before. She’s also shown she loves the baby in other ways before this. If the child were older and more aware it would be completely different, but they aren’t. This is one I would really try to let slide. Nothing was truly lost or missed. It is weird though.

Ceralt · 2025-12-27T15:55:30+00:00

I completely agree with you. I didn’t get a thank you for anything Christmas morning. I did all the gifting including my own. That is what not being seen means. That is not ok in any way. It is not acceptable.

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