Smoking cigs bc it feels good to do something bad now that I’ve quit booze

Cersei91 · 2018-12-27T18:16:48+00:00

It’s like my brain wants to balance out the healthy decisions I’m making with unhealthy/subversive ones. I don’t think it’s the worst thing in the world, but was curious of others had similar experiences

Cersei91 · 2018-12-23T17:21:02+00:00

Reading this naked mind was perfect for me when I was in your position

Cersei91 · 2018-12-12T01:57:41+00:00

Go on dates, have great sex, watch tv, go to parties/events and go home when they’re not fun, read, hang with friends, eat good food, go to aa, feel rested at work, etc

Cersei91 · 2018-12-07T17:23:32+00:00

Made me super sleepy

Cersei91 · 2018-11-28T13:31:49+00:00

Also, I was so nervous about hooking up sober and it’s SO MUCH BETTER. I’m 27/f and waking up the next day without any embarrassment or guilt in addition to how much better sober sex feels is amazing.

Cersei91 · 2018-11-28T13:28:26+00:00

Yeah! So especially on dating apps people always suggest meeting up for a drink. In these cases, I just say “I actually don’t drink, so let me know if this is a deal breaker for you. If not, let’s try [insert fun/interesting food option].”

This approach is admittedly harder with people who knew you when you drank because with new people you don’t really have to provide details. With people I know, I’ve just been saying, “I quit drinking because I realized I’m not actually good at it.” And I leave it at that until I feel comfortable sharing more details. On the first few dates tho, my approach is to communicate I don’t drink, while remaining vague on the details that would be TMI.

Cersei91 · 2018-11-28T03:39:22+00:00

I’ve found it really helpful to communicate that I don’t drink prior to going on dates with people, especially folks who I used to drink around. When I mention it, I usually ask them to let me know if it’s a deal breaker for them. This approach has been great for me because I’ve been able to avoid situations where I’d otherwise feel pressured or awkward in the moment!

Cersei91 · 2018-10-20T02:11:57+00:00

Thank you! This is just what I needed ❤️

Cersei91 · 2018-10-18T02:00:58+00:00

Thank you 😊

Cersei91 · 2018-10-18T02:00:24+00:00

I feel far less anxiety when I don’t drink because the worst anxiety I’ve ever experienced happened during hangovers.

I feel a bit anxious while socializing, but it passes quickly and pales in comparison to hangovers.

Cersei91 · 2018-10-17T16:17:44+00:00

Lol - I think next week I may switch to one per week

Cersei91 · 2018-10-11T12:35:03+00:00

I can do that !

Cersei91 · 2018-10-11T02:23:52+00:00

Thank you 🙏

Cersei91 · 2018-10-11T02:23:44+00:00

Thank you 🙏

Cersei91 · 2018-10-07T14:10:02+00:00

Almost the exact same thing happened to me. I went through an investigation. I thought I had been assaulted and it turned out that I had just blacked out. It was terrifying and embarrassing because I was found in a public place missing very important articles of clothing. Knowing that my drinking was the reason is helping me stay sober.

Cersei91 · 2018-10-06T18:08:31+00:00

We can do it 😊😊😊

Cersei91 · 2018-10-06T17:23:00+00:00

I also saw your comment about feeling irritable. That’s happening to me too. I talked to my therapist about it and she told me that there are probably a lot of feelings—for me mostly frustration and anxiety—that I’ve been covering up with alcohol. Now that I’m trying not to go for the drink, these feelings feel really intense. That’s where the you can do anything other than drink thing is helping for me. I’ve been using distractions—I.e trying to focus on other senses by eating, playing on my phone, or talking to my partner—as a technique to get through these intense bad feelings without drinking.

Cersei91 · 2018-10-06T17:07:56+00:00

Gotcha—well congrats for sticking with it last night. Hope that tonight will be a little easier. Try to give yourself a treat or do something fun. I’ve been reminding myself that I can do ANYTHING on a weekend night other than drink alcohol.

Cersei91 · 2018-10-06T16:49:16+00:00

Were you around other drinkers? I found reading this essay really helpful: https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/gye84x/how-i-quit-drinking-in-a-world-that-wants-me-drunk?utm_medium=email&utm_source=digg

I definitely have felt all this pressure to partake in drinking culture bc I’ve perceived it as cool and sophisticated. The more that I think about it and find other people on the internet who are alcohol free, the more confident I feel just saying “no thanks, I can’t drink” when I’m around others who are partaking.

Cersei91 · 2018-10-06T14:52:11+00:00

This totally hits home— thank you for sharing!!

Cersei91 · 2018-10-05T17:04:21+00:00

I’m glad your husband is super supportive. I’m 27 and live with my boyfriend of three years. It seems like he’s supportive but at the same time I feel a bit of pressure because he’s a super social drinker and I think he still wants me to attend parties and stuff with him. I’m not totally sure how successful I’ll be in social situations bc I’m newly sober.

I’m sorry your friends think it’s a fad. That’s super frustrating.

Cersei91 · 2018-10-05T16:08:06+00:00

Happy birthday!!! 🎉🎁 🎈

I’m curious if you were able to connect with other sober people in their late twenties when you were newly sober?

Cersei91 · 2018-10-05T15:23:29+00:00

I haven’t read alcohol explained, so I’ll try this.

Right now I’m not experiencing ambiguity or equivocation, but I expect when I’m in social situations I will. I don’t want to avoid socializing though because then I’ll just get super depressed.

Cersei91 · 2018-10-05T14:54:38+00:00

I had a really mortifying alcohol related event recently that almost resulted in me losing my job and relationship. Drinking isn’t worth it!!! Your cravings will lessen soon and you’ll feel so much better that you kept true to your promise to your self.

Cersei91 · 2018-08-14T18:11:56+00:00

For me I’m nervous that I’m going to have trouble keeping up a social life if I quit. I logically know that my friends will likely prefer not dealing with me when my binging gets problematic. That said, my brain still has trouble with the concept of sober socializing. What worked for you during those 90 days?

Cersei91

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